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n. I couldn't give a flying fuck (English English)

One of the ways to say in Brazilian Portuguese: "estou cagando e andando"

Literally, "I am shitting and walking (simultaneously)"

It's me sausage actually. And it doesn't mean no fucks given, rather it is all the same to me.

Greek Yeah I know of that phrase but it's not really used. It's as funny in Greek as it is in English.

Most common is "on my balls", the short version of I am writing it/him/her on my balls. Implying that you care so little you have the name of it/him/her written on your balls. Yeah it does t make much sense.

The lighter version (you would see in subtitles for example) is "to me there is no nail being burned". I don't know where it comes from. Must be something to do with nails being left behind when you burn wooden structure.

Edit: oh I remembered another; "I shat myself".

"My dick hurts" - various west Balkan languages.

Swearing in Greece and across most of the whole region is hilarious. The actual "I don't care"/"zero fucks given" phrase is to write something on your balls or dick.

So many sayings are mother/whore/balls/dick based - not offensive phrases, just common sayings.

Also in French: "it touches one (ball) without moving the other"

I’m Dutch. Never heard of that phrase. They probably mean “It can rust on my ass” “‘t kan me aan mijn reet roesten” still never heard people using that. Is probably regional.

Not as obviously cool as the above, but I always liked the way Tagalog (Philippines) works: wala akong pakialam. Literally translated, it's just "I don't care," but there's a layer of passive-aggressiveness that can make it really offensive.

To break it down: "wala" (Nothing, don't have) "ako(ng)" (I, me), "paki-" (polite request), "-alam" (to know).

Basically, that construction throws out the entire culture of politeness while blatantly saying you don't want anything to do with knowing about whatever that is. In many contexts, it's more offensive than swearing at the person.

Flowers on my dick and bees all around is so mysterious

3. I slap my balls on it (French)

If that one sounds weird, the translation misses the point that it's a masturbation reference. It should be "i beat my balls to it". Compare with "je m'en branle", litterally "i jack to it"

This is why I'm still on the Internet.

Less vulgar finnish version

"Kiviäkin kiinnostaa."

i.e. rocks are also interested (about that subject)

More fitting would be German "das geht mir am Arsch vorbei" "it passes me by the ass".

How about the Brazilian “I am shitting and walking” (cagando e andando), similar to a horse or donkey that shits while walking and pulling a cart, like it is nothing, without a care in the world…

It concerns me (like) a cardboard-duck. (Danish)

Danish: "Det rager mig en papand"

Lit. "That fondles me (like) a cardboard duck."

In Germany we also have "das geht mir am Arsch vorbei", which translates to "that goes across my ass". It's the more vulgar version of "ist mir wurst" or "it's sausage to me"

I'd say french je m'en bat les couilles is technically "I slap my balls with it"

I slap my balls with it will be my catchphrase for 2025

I offer "me vale madre" or "me vale verga" n Mexican Spanish.

The first one is weird, madre in this context both does and doesn't mean "mother". It's closer to to the mother in "motherfucker" than it is to "I fucked your mom".

They both mean "I don't give a shit" although with different flavors of vulgarity.

The second one is literally "this means dick to me"