this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 38 comments
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[–] [email protected] 109 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Wish my wife would fondle my nuts daily to check whatever.

[–] Hiro8811 16 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Nurse_Robot 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] BugleFingers 24 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 days ago

Kick off your Sunday loose

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago

Funnily enough this would reduce cheating in men that cheat.

[–] [email protected] 81 points 6 days ago (2 children)

While at it guys, remember that having premarital sex wears your penis out until is as thin as a pencil and you won't be able to satisfy your future wife. That is why you should save your purity for her 😇

[–] ivanafterall 8 points 5 days ago

Is it possible my penis isn't small, but my partner is just an unrepentant trollop?

[–] donuts 95 points 6 days ago

Jokes on you, she blows afterwards so my balls are nice and tight again

[–] riodoro1 65 points 6 days ago

Ummm, that only means he was pissing.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 6 days ago (1 children)

This is a "masturbating is cheating" person, yeah?

[–] [email protected] -4 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I mean, could be masturbating, but after coming home from being out all day?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Boss makes a dollar, i make a dime. That's why i fap, on company time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Please break the eye contact while doing that. Please. HR is shaking.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

He's whackin, jackin, and fappin!

[–] 3laws 7 points 5 days ago (2 children)

After the 2nd shake ya better finish the job, ya'know?

[–] ivanafterall 1 points 5 days ago

That 3rd shake really is the best.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

Fair enough

[–] Snapz 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Coming home after being out coming all day

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Like a leaky faucet. Drip... drip... drip...

[–] [email protected] 52 points 6 days ago

Maybe he just took a leak, because pee is stored in the balls.

[–] hOrni 36 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Nah. The only way to know for sure is by taste.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana 18 points 6 days ago

Personally I go by humidity and vigor

[–] Thteven 16 points 6 days ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 days ago

ohhhh, that's why i have such huge balls.

[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Honey, here i am for my ball check.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Reminds me of penis inspection day in school

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

Certainly feels so after a while

[–] Norin 7 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Lol that was the first thing that popped into my head too.

Don't play me like a fool

Cuz that ain't keeeeewwewwlll

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago

Dammit, beat me to it!

[–] random_character_a 1 points 6 days ago

While you're there, they also have a chlorine like musk after load dump.