this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2024
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] [email protected] 184 points 1 month ago (4 children)

It aint a blog meme without a useless comment at the bottom

[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But if we didn't have a reaction included in the post, how would we know how we're meant to feel?

[–] SLVRDRGN 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just realized blog-meme-commentary are functionally equivalent to sitcom laugh tracks.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

You're so right.^it's me, I'm the commentary^

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Of course I'm not watching this 1m20s video without a webcam of an obnoxious guy wearing a spiderman outfit yelling in the corner of the screen.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I’m not watching this 30 se*ond video without subway surfers gameplay

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago
[–] jaybone 12 points 1 month ago

I choked on my uselessness.

[–] son_named_bort 5 points 1 month ago

Bonus points if it's Xavier.

[–] pHr34kY 65 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

This is bullshit because no bloke has ever mumbled a word in a dunny block.

[–] FireRetardant 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No one has ever offered to play battle shits with you?

[–] Shardikprime 6 points 1 month ago

It's a solo game unless you are in the special competitive pvp stalls

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Your use of "bloke" implies you're in the UK, so perhaps it's just manners... But as someone who has worked in a large, multi-cultural office in the US, it is definitely a cultural thing. There are some people that have no problem chatting on the phone at full volume, in an echo-y stall, while audibly shitting. And I mean audibly lol.

I have had one experience where I was sitting in the middle stall, of three, between two people who were having a full-on conversation back and forth over me. I kept like clearing my throat just in case maybe they didn't realize someone was there... Nope, they just didn't care lol.

Just the thought of behaving like that is mortifying to me lol, especially in an office where I have to then interact with those people...

[–] pHr34kY 6 points 1 month ago

I'm an Aussie. Same king, different colony :P

Crosstalk while trying to dump a load sounds horrendous.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There are some people that have no problem chatting on the phone at full volume, in an echo-y stall, while audibly shitting. And I mean audibly lol.

I experienced that in New Jersey once. A man was speaking Spanish, presumably while on the phone. And he was very audibly taking a shit. He even continued talking while straining to push the poop out.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've seen this mostly for couriers or workers who are actively monitored and don't have time for themselves

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I kind of get that. But I still feel it would be incredibly rude if someone called me and I could hear them on the shitter. But that's my personal sensibility.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I've talked on the shitter. I heard someone dying and asked if they needed help, they never replied, just did up their belt and fled in panic. Never again!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

I rather die alone on a toilet than talk while pooping. I'd flee too.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yep. Heard a coworker vomiting her guts out in the accessible stall and I asked if she needed help. Turns out she was just having morning sickness.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A few months ago I went to a steakhouse with some friends and learned that 3 ladies from the wedding party in the party room had had too much to drink and were sharing a stall (small bathroom with only 2 stalls) puking their guts out for a solid 20 minutes straight. As we paid and left we saw the paramedics arrive to escort the ladies off of the premises and an employee poised and ready with cleaning supplies to begin cleaning up the wreckage their stomachs had wrought upon the porcelain.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Some of those who shake cocktails...
Are the same that clean stall spills...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

LOL oh man this story is so funny to me. I'm picturing it from both people's points of view and its hilarious either way.

[–] mkhopper 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The urinals didn't tip her off?

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I've been in men's room recently that didn't have urinals in view when I walked in. Which did give me a slight panic for a moment that I had walked into the wrong door.

I opened the first stall door, and there was the urinal. Interesting.

They had also adopted the European style of floor to ceiling stalls and stall doors. It was actually a very nice experience.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Common European W

[–] Ultraviolet 2 points 1 month ago (3 children)

The stall only contained a urinal? What happens if you need to take a shit?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

You don't use that stall. What happens if you have to shit at any given time, go looking for urinals?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's a bit weird though yeah, especially if you are waiting in line for that stall to open and only when entering discover it's not going to suffice your needs.

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[–] PrimeMinisterKeyes 5 points 1 month ago

Maybe the guy sitting next to her was in the wrong bathroom.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

chooooooooke on the water~

[–] jaybone 9 points 1 month ago

snack pack in disguise…

[–] ArtVandelay 6 points 1 month ago

Hand dryers in the skyyy

[–] agent_nycto 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I like that the response from guys isn't "a woman?! In MY bathroom?!?!" But "who tf talks in the bathroom?!"

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[–] Makhno 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Something that definitely happened

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

And all the guys at the urinals cheered, and bumped hips whilst continuing to pee

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Who the are these people talking in the stalls. I be worried someone would try and kick my ass. I've seen people go ape shit if you disturb them during a shit in public.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I once had a friend of mine go into the stall next to mine and loudly declare that we were "pooping buddies"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't know about being mad, but if a coworker tries to talk to me in the restroom regardless of specifics they immediately go on my "perhaps has body in basement" list. Usually it's the Cxx people...who are sociopaths. So the math works out.

[–] Gutek8134 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I only know that some people use CXX as extension for their C++ (programming language) files, but I don't think that's what you meant

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That was my first reaction as well, but probably C-suite people, like CEO, CFO, etc.? (I say "etc." here bc I can't think of any more:-P)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Y'all nerding out on here about the gnu compiler tool chain but don't have a chief technical officer? :p

[–] Im_old 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Yes, most CEOs and most c++ users are sociopaths

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

All of my coworkers, they will just strike up work combo.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Yep. Savin' that one

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I hate that I laughed

[–] feedum_sneedson 4 points 1 month ago

you're both liars

[–] anarchyrabbit 3 points 1 month ago

Who is drinking water is a toilet stall? Don't ya'll know the little poo particles go in there?

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