this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Do you believe that my being thiccer or more bodacious has anything to do with my badonk in this place? You think that’s gas you’re passing now?"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There is no spoon.

Wait, there was definitely a spoon here a minute ago - Neo WHERE DID YOU PUT THE SPOON!?

[–] someguy3 49 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] feedum_sneedson 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Telling that I am unsure whether this is photoshopped or not. I do remember thinking this was a very funny shot.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

the matrix can't handle this much ass

The ram is already full with rendering Carrie-Annne Moss's leather pants.

[–] Lost_My_Mind 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Alright. Deleteing the leather pants........oh my!

[–] fjordbasa 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This made me think of the Paul Rudd Tim & Eric sketch. NUDE TAYNE… oh sh&$!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Could you kick up the 4d3d3d3d

[–] fjordbasa 5 points 1 month ago

Could I see a hat wobble?

[–] Hobbes_Dent 37 points 1 month ago

Butter overflow, Matrix terminated.

[–] gofsckyourself 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Love to see the comic in full quality and no compression artifacts 🤌

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver 24 points 1 month ago

This one was fresh and organic, straight from the source.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Yeah, this is the thing that didn't make the Matrix chars realistic to me - I would innately try to crash the system. Not abandon it, just crash it, wait for reboot, you know, find the limits, really make peoples brainholes in those comfy pods work for it.

Sure, ofc I would spawn a trillion wheels of cheese over a city.

Naturally I would grow my ass that big it would dwarf any super-massive black hole (and in the process make sure Uranus gets into myanus).

Absolutely I would kill all other processes to see just how good it can run Doom.

You think I wouldn't install the most cursed and most blessed of mods?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I like that one of my first thoughts was I wonder if they’ve correctly implemented special relativity. Let’s find out!

[–] spamfajitas 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

IIRC, they tackle that in one of the Animatrix episodes. Some kids find a forgotten corner of the simulation where gravity breaks down and stuff gets weird.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I mean, it's the hardest & most big-assed thing I can think of (beyond just running a buggy code with a memory leak).

I was also about to write about zooming infinitely into a particle but it didn't seem funny enough.

[–] Lost_My_Mind 9 points 1 month ago

Hi, It's Josh from Let's Game It Out. We're entering The Matrix today....

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (3 children)

In the original version of the script, the point wasn't to use humans as batteries, it was to use them as processors. The Matrix runs on human brains, and all the leftover brainpower is used on real world problems the machines were dealing with. They turned humans into the computers.

So, trying to overload the processing limits of the Matrix would just kill people. They'd drop dead from the mental strain. Best case scenario, you give everyone in the Matrix a hangover before the automatic safeties kick in.

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[–] ripcord 5 points 1 month ago

That's why you weren't the One.

[–] Iheartcheese 22 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I wanna see the booty that broke the matrix :(

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It’s like beholding the face of God. You immediately crash to desktop upon attempting to render even a single frame containing that much ass.

[–] dohpaz42 6 points 1 month ago
[–] ivanafterall 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Iheartcheese 4 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

We need more comics about scifi ass.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I worship The Matrix as much as the next guy but these leather-clad domination fantasies are absurd.

All those shiny leather karate superheros need giant strap-on dildos. Just part of the costume. Neo, Morpheus, Trinity, all of them. Big shiny plastic dicks. Just wear them. Nobody says anything. They just hang there and throb. It would be hilarious.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Same. The first movie, the leather aspect was mostly a small quirk not a full-front feature. Neo's trenchcoat was mostly there to conceal weapons. Afterwards, it became a fashion choice.

Practical combat gear is what makes the most sense to me and what I resonate with the most from the series:

or this:

seem more practical

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Also, I didn't know that there were Matrix comics. I'm going to read them all

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's the matrix. They can do matrix magic bag-of-holding stuff.

And they are indestructible.

Nude. With shiny black leather fannypacks.

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[–] BeMoreCareful 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"he's starting to believe"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean, with an ass like DAT tho... how could he not!?:-D

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001 5 points 1 month ago

Ba doyng doyng doyng

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Matrix locks up and turns on a BSOD

Blue
Screen
Of
Dat ass

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Dat ass, tho

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Now watch what happens when I slap it."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Do not try to slap the ass — that's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth: there is no ass.

Ripples begin to emanate from the closest ass cheek but vanish as soon as you look away.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Ripples spreading outwards from the ass cheek... yeah that's definitely a fart!:-P

[–] veni_vedi_veni 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Early 2000s really was peak human civilization

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Manipulating your own body is an aspect of that power I didn't think about, would be great for me. Of course, I would go for any shape shifting power.

[–] Psaldorn 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's a somewhat core element that was damped down by execs.

Originally "Switch" was a trans character who used the matrix control to transition. Finding and taking control of your own character.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Well I'm genderfluid, so being able to change my body at will is the dream.

[–] BeatTakeshi 8 points 1 month ago

Error: floating point overflow

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

On the subject of Matrix parodies, I just want to throw this classic out there

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Think I would have tried this before jumping off a friggin building.

[–] TheGiantKorean 4 points 1 month ago

He chose the red suppository

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago
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