this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 110 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hey, FBI... Can I get a warning on my next felony?

[–] DarkCloud 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Get away with the first two, and you earn a warning, is that how law enforcement works now at the DOJ?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'm fantasizing about what I'd use my mulligan on. No violence, maybe like a big drug score?

[–] [email protected] 101 points 1 week ago (3 children)

AND YA BETTER NOT DO IT AGAIN OR ILL GET REEEAAAL GRUMPY!

The American Justice system is so embarrassingly lenient to the rich. How are you guys not rioting every single day?

[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Because there is no social safety net. Rioting could lead to arrest and job loss. Resulting in loss of home, medical insurance, etc.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 week ago

That’s… sad and disturbing.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Because the DOJ would throw me in jail

[–] Yawweee877h444 66 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Billionaires get warnings lol.

Poor people get prison rape.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

And their hired thugs that get caught get Epsteined.

[–] x00z 45 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Buy drugs to enjoy in your free time: jail
Buy votes to sway the country and its laws: warning

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He probably spends thousands a month on Ketamine... so I don't know if that's necessarily true.

[–] LordWiggle 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ketamine is my drug of choice, so I believe I can say with almost certainty Elon does not. Because if he did, he'd see how stupid he is and how wrong his decisions are. And what kind of destruction he creates to the world and society.

Since he's narcissistic AF, believes he owns the world, the law doesn't apply to him and is better then everyone else I believe his drug of choice is cocain.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

His drug of choice is ketamine, it's well known, he isn't shy about it. His friends have said something like "he microdoses daily and macrodoses often at parties"

[–] LordWiggle 4 points 1 week ago

Then his dealer is fucking with him 😂

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 week ago

Musk didn’t buy votes. If he bought anything, then he bought petition signatures.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (2 children)

If I were to break federal law I would get indicted not a warning

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago

Sounds like you're either not rich enough, not white enough, or both.

[–] tpyoman 3 points 1 week ago

Rules for thee not for me.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The DOJ is not "The American People".

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

The DOJ = The Billionaire Oligarchy

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago

Can I get a warning for murdering?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago

They should double-warn him. These limp-wristed single warnings aren't doing the trick. Maybe even triple-dog-warn him for good measure—no tag-backs.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

We should try asking politely if he'd care to consider the law, if it pleases him to do so, in the future.

[–] Sam_Bass 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Dorkyd68 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's the us. If you're rich you get warned

[–] Sam_Bass 1 points 1 week ago

yeah i know. needs to change

[–] beebarfbadger 1 points 1 week ago

"Stop or I will yell 'stop' again!"

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

We didn't like the term kangaroo court so we just stopped going to court.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Unbelievable

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If Musk was Chinese he'd be in gitmo by now.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

No. That's if he's Arab. Chinese get interned.

Or if China doesn't like them either, "returned to the homeland" where they'll be disappeared forever in one of their, "put them here until trial" black holes where people go in but they don't come out (without the right bribes/political influence).

[–] disconnectikacio 2 points 1 week ago