this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] [email protected] 135 points 1 month ago (1 children)

DOOM Eternal

game eventually ends

[–] [email protected] 77 points 1 month ago (2 children)

See also: Duke Nukem Forever

[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

See also: Duke Nukem Forever

See also: BioShock: Infinite.

[–] Protoknuckles 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Zoomboingding 24 points 1 month ago

And Katamari Forever

[–] toynbee 37 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

They were probably referring to the development time.

[–] rtxn 108 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

> Final Fantasy
> For the 16th fucking time

Compare that to:

> Endwalker
> Literally walk to the final boss

[–] [email protected] 91 points 1 month ago (2 children)

No Man's Sky

Obviously I am up here

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago

Assigned female at purchase

[–] TheTechnician27 19 points 1 month ago

"Oh, Trans' Sky"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Take my love
Take my land
Take me where I cannot stand

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[–] IndiBrony 79 points 1 month ago (15 children)

> Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

> Not a single vice to be found


> House Flipper

> All houses are orientated normally


> Untitled Goose Game

> Has title


> Octodad

> Absolutely not a single octopus in the game whatsoever


> Golf With Your Friends

> No friends.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I was thinking Vice City, no vices?? But I think I get what sort of vice you mean now

[–] IndiBrony 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

For anyone else who still doesn't understand!

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[–] Kushan 70 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You know what, shout out to Concord here. The official definition of a concord:

agreement or harmony between people or groups.

Everyone did in fact agree not to play the game.

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[–] TheTechnician27 61 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

>Battlefield 4

>Actually has 32 multiplayer maps which would constitute a battlefield


>Pokémon Yellow

>Has other colors

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

>Actually has 32 multiplayer maps which would constitute a battlefield

Also:

> Is at least the sixth game in the Battlefield franchise, with the most generous possible interpretation of what counts as a mainline game.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago (2 children)

>Dark Souls
>Souls emit light

>Hyper Light Drifter
>There's no car in the game

>Final Fantasy
>Has more than 10 sequels, hardly "final"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

>Dark Souls

>Literally only one Dark Soul

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[–] nl4real 53 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Team Fortress 2

No Fortress, nobody plays as a fucking team, and it's the third game.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I technically it might be the first game on the account of the previous 2 being mods.

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Counter Strike

Only initial strikes

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[–] ZILtoid1991 44 points 1 month ago (2 children)
> Legend of Zelda
> You're playing as Link save for a few games
> Wolfenstein 3D
> Best it can do is raycasting and 2D sprites scaled
> Valve Software Inc.
> Is a game developer and publishing company, does not develop software for plumbing
> Epic Games
> Nowadays only create Fortnite, which is the opposite of being epic
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)
> Enter the Matrix
> No math whatsoever in the game
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Legend of Zelda

But you're saving Zelda, so I think it gets a pass. Link's Awakening is right out though, Zelda isn't even a character in that one.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Wolfenstein 3D, Duke Nukem 3D

2.5D engines. 😏

[–] affiliate 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] spankmonkey 12 points 1 month ago

Rounding up on .5 is the most common method of rounding!

[–] Cheems 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They call it halflife because Gordon is middle aged

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ya, but look at what he does at his job. He'll be lucky to make it to 54.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago

Oxygen not Included: Starts with oxygen.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago

Killing floor

Scenery is non-destructible

Black Mesa

All the mesas are actually brown

Max Payne 2:The Fall of Max Payne

Actually he does fall over a lot in this game

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago

Control

Literally everything is out of control

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago

Dead Cells

Literally unable to die

Slay the Spire

The Spire slays you (I'm bad at it, okay)

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Mortal Kombat 1 - This is the 12th game in the series

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

Resident Evil:

Numerous non-residents are evil too

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago

Dead Space

You are alive and fight in claustrophobic environments.

[–] son_named_bort 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening

Zelda doesn't even appear

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Hades 2: Hades is barely in it

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Infinite Wealth

Never have enough money.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Dark Souls

Have white souls in it

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

EVE Online: humanity’s distant future

Halo: “Run! It’s the demon!”

Mario Kart: drive around as Bowser

Call of Duty: skip work to play

Overwatch: small ground troop battles on city streets

Battlefield: Hardline: use signal jammers to disrupt enemy radio comms

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Half Life is an accurate title. During normal playthroughs it’s rare to have more than 50hp.

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[–] yamanii 14 points 1 month ago

River City Girls

You can play as the boys.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Counter Strike - You're attacking first

Double Dragon - Lacks even a single dragon

Freespace - Space is already occupied

Risk of Rain - Never rains

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 10 points 1 month ago

Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War

Singing is an important part of the plot.

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