this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] PineRune 107 points 1 month ago (2 children)

One can be folded into oragami. The other can be shot from a slingshot. I am truly enlightened.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago

oh shit BOTH is the answer

[–] TheWordBotcher 33 points 1 month ago

I don't think either of these would be very fun for the woman they're attached to...

[–] [email protected] 90 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Damn. I always felt bad enough for women with big boobs having to deal with the back pain, but I never considered that they might jingle, too.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 month ago

Not all big breasted women suffer from backpains.

Jingling is really annoying though.

[–] B312 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] TheBat 23 points 1 month ago

It feels like a bag of coins when you're touching it.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Bills won't weigh you down when you're hiking or make your pocket sag if they're there a long time.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Can't use 100's in a lot of places.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Can't use coins in a lot of places as well.

[–] GroundedGator 47 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah, the strippers hate it when I start chucking quarters.

[–] Passerby6497 8 points 1 month ago

In some cultures, making it hail is seen as a dick move.

[–] arin 4 points 1 month ago

That's a matter of the places you're going into....

[–] Podunk 50 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The premise is based, but fuck me, the message is actually a good life lesson.

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[–] Dampyr 48 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've got a question for you. What's heavier, a kiogram of coins or a kilogram of bills? That's right a kilogram of coins, because coins are heavier than bills

[–] Trail 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Is this supposed to be a joke or a parody of something?

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Trail 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Trail was enlightened

[–] ameancow 9 points 1 month ago

Dead serious issues that I expect to see addressed in the VP debate.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (3 children)

the coins because you could also throw them at people

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Always a psycho/socio in the comments 😂

[–] TootSweet 3 points 1 month ago

Happy cake day, gentleperson.

[–] j4k3 25 points 1 month ago

No judgement here.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Omfg I was also enlightened by this

[–] ameancow 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Then everyone clapped. That clap's name? Albert Musk.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

And then the bus fell on its side, amen brother 🙏

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The size of the breast is irrelevant, the size of the girl is everything

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They must be balanced, as all things should be

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Heavier boobs hold more value...I do like big heavy boobs...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Are you an owner or a renter?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've stolen some, traded some, and now I'm left with one small boob and one big boob in a freezer, what do

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Nature's stress ball.

[–] Passerby6497 9 points 1 month ago

As do I, but I can also see the hate they get. One of my partners ended up getting a reduction from like DDD to B and she's much happier and is better physically for it. My wife kept her DD and they're great too.

As I've gotten older, I've come to terms that big tiddies and small tiddies are both still tiddies, and tiddies are fun to play with no matter the size.

[–] SkunkWorkz 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I can rest a bag of coins on my face and reach nirvana, while resting a single bill on my face is pointless.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Let me know when you want me to prove you wrong

Regards, Bill

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Never thought id see a koan in green text.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I wonder if there is any evolutionary advantage to larger breasts. AFAIK, there's no difference in their ability to deliver milk to babies. And smaller breasts probably have an advantage in a woman's movement and agility, not to mention avoiding back pain. Humans also seem to be the only animal that has larger breasts than necessary -- OTOH, humans are also the only mammal that walks upright, so there are other biological differences.

If it's the case that the only evolutionary reason for large breasts is to better attract (some) men, that would be interesting.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Milk cows have larger breasts than necessary, but that's from artificial breeding rather than any sort of evolution or adaptation.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Their larger breasts are necessary since they require a high milk output to reproduce effectively (due to selective pressure of breeding)

Just because the pressure is not "natural" doesn't mean its not real.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If it’s the case that the only evolutionary reason for large breasts is to better attract (some) men, that would be interesting.

It's not like large breasts are more common than not large (unless you mean anything larger than nothing at all). I suspect there was a random mutation, and it didn't hurt their reproduction chances but it didn't help either. So you end up with a variety of breast sizes.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (5 children)

For some reason, only one ape species ever has non-small breasts. You never get large breasted gorillas, chimpanzees or bonobos even though they share 98% of their DNA with us. What is it about humans that means that that trait was evolutionarily advantageous? It's obviously a feature with significant disadvantages, so what is the advantage that offsets that for humans in a way that it doesn't for other great apes?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Do gorillas, chimpanzees, or Bonobos mate face-to-face, or doggy style?

[–] NikkiDimes 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

For bonobos, a whole variety of ways and very frequently.

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[–] thejoker954 8 points 1 month ago

There all good tits, brent.

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