this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024

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I hope you don't have any plans this evening. (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 months ago by FlyingSquid to c/lemmyshitpost

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[–] The_Picard_Maneuver 95 points 3 months ago (1 children)

[–] chemical_cutthroat 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Let's start with a big-ass "H"!

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[–] [email protected] 87 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Amateurs. Never put a date on your rapture predictions. Just say it is happening soon.

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Thank god there is no ninth of hexadecember, so no worries.

[–] BambiDiego 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Maybe this in Julian calendar?!

That means we only have 247 years left!! REPENT!!

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[–] frickineh 59 points 3 months ago (3 children)

It's almost 9pm where I am and there's no sign of it. Jesus better hurry his ass up if he wants to be on time.

[–] FlyingSquid 26 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Maybe everyone around you is a filthy sinner.

[–] ceenote 27 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Maybe that's been the joke for centuries. The rapture happened but nobody made the cut. Seems consistent with the Bible.

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[–] dual_sport_dork 58 points 3 months ago (4 children)

But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

Matthew 24:36.

RTFM, noob.

[–] Rolando 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"Read The Fisherman Matthew"?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Read the fucking moom

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Ride turtles for money

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[–] Agent641 43 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Hi guys, its the 19th here in Australia already and I can confirm that I have been Left Behind to suffer heck on earth for being a sinner and Im super over it already.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

You sure everybody got raptured and you're not just in Australia?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Nah mate, that's just fuckin Thursdy.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Jesus better fucking come I've been jerking him off for like 20 minutes

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 34 points 3 months ago (3 children)

It's currently September 19th

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[–] P1k1e 33 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I MISSED IT!?

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[–] gedaliyah 33 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's true. I'm getting raptured right n

[–] FlyingSquid 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Well, well, well. Look who became a gentile and got themselves raptured.

[–] gedaliyah 12 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Okay, you got me, I'm still stuck here with all of you heretics

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[–] MapleEngineer 25 points 3 months ago (6 children)

~~9-18-24~~ ~~9-19-24~~ ~~9-20-24~~ ~~9-21-24~~ 9-22-24

I mean...if they keep this up they will be right eventually...right?

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[–] negativenull 23 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

They may have screwed up their ISO date format. They really mean it'll happen on the 9th day of the 18th month of 2024.

It tracks

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Not again

[–] FlyingSquid 36 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Afraid so. Hope you enjoy the great snatch.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 months ago (5 children)

sigh - Days without thinking about her: 0

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[–] TheTechnician27 16 points 3 months ago

From snatch you came, and to snatch you shall return.

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[–] eager_eagle 22 points 3 months ago

nonsense, there are only 12 months

[–] TriflingToad 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

so nobody can know the date of the rapture, and if someone figures it out god'll change it?

what if I make a website that just says "the rapture will be [current date +1]"

checkmate?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago (2 children)

So I was justified when I left those dishes in the sink. Thank goodness. Thank you, Jesus.

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[–] The_Quaz 19 points 3 months ago

[–] Railing5132 18 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Oh, shit! Who will water my plants?!

[–] WaxedWookie 16 points 3 months ago (7 children)

It's your lucky day - I happen to run a post-rapture plant watering and pet sitting business - I'm sure as shit not getting raptured.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

What mental gymnastics do you think the sign maker will have to perform, when nothing happens today?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago

Mysterious Ways ™️

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

God, I wish God would actually just end this cringe already.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Good thing I tried pegging for the first time tonight then! Ticked that one off the bucket list just in time!

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Post-Rapture looting anyone?

[–] wjrii 13 points 3 months ago (7 children)

Why do you think I still live in Texas?

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[–] niktemadur 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Haha! Yeah right, this is like the ten thousandth time they've s

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[–] Monster96 17 points 3 months ago (3 children)

It's probably a coded message. Read it in the order of colors.

Jesus is rapture - 9-18-24 will on coming the happen.

It all makes sense!

[–] cmrn 12 points 3 months ago

JESUS IS THE RAPTURE

COMING WILL HAPPEN ON 9-18-24

sigh… if you insist

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Can we go ahead and get the rapture over with so the rest of us can get some peace and god damn quiet?

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Still the 18th here. Anyone know where I can buy some inflatable sex dolls and helium at this hour?

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[–] 9point6 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What timezone is the rapture in?

Trying to decide if I should stay up and get some photos

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[–] Harvey656 14 points 3 months ago

Sorry, gonna have to miss the rapture, I have DnD this weekend.

[–] FordBeeblebrox 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I didn’t get raptured, too much thc and alcohol in your system makes you too heavy for the angels to carry I think.

If all the good folk are gone though I sure hope for less traffic on my road trip this weekend. Praise jeebus? 🤷‍♂️

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