Obviously they skimped out, what with the lack of marble in the bedrooms
this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2024
242 points (98.0% liked)
Terrible Estate Agent Photos
6807 readers
5 users here now
Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.
Posting guidelines.
Posts in this community must be of property (inside or out) listed for sale which contains a terrible element. “Terrible” can refer to:
-
the photo itself (finger over the lens, too far away, people in the shot, bad Photoshop, etc.)
-
the property (weird layout, questionable plumbing, unsound structure, etc.)
-
the interior (carpeted bathrooms, awful taste interiors, weird mannequins/taxidermies/art, inflatable pools indoors, etc.)
-
the actual listing itself including unusual descriptions and unrealistic pricing. However, this isn’t a community to discuss the housing market in general. This is a comedic community - let’s keep it light.
-
Photos can be sourced from anywhere and be any age, but please check they haven’t already been posted.
-
Censor any names/contact details of private individuals.
-
Mark the post NSFW if it includes nudity or sensitive content
Rules.
This community follows the rules of the feddit.uk instance and the lemmy.org code of conduct. I’ve summarised them here:
- Be civil, remember the human.
- No insulting or harassing other members. That includes name-calling.
- Respect differences of opinion. Civil discussion/debate is fine, arguing is not. Criticise ideas, not people.
- Keep unrequested/unstructured critique to a minimum.
- Remember we have all chosen to be here voluntarily. Respect the spent time and effort people have spent creating posts in order to share something they find amusing with you.
- Swearing in general is fine, swearing to insult another commenter isn’t.
- No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia or any other type of bigotry.
- No incitement of violence or promotion of violent ideologies.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Looks like early 90s raytrace renders inside.
I'm sliding around just looking at it
I bet that’s all vinyl wrap.
Ignoring the obvious, I was not expecting that kind of money being dropped on the interior based on the photos of the exterior.
They're probably not allowed to modify the exterior at all and made the best of it for whatever reason
I get a strong 'my mate's company bought too much of this for a project and asked if I wanted it for pennies on the pound so I said yeah, put it fucking everywhere' vibe
That's some real whiplash going from the exterior to the interior
I know right, if you could afford to do that to the interior, why on earth wouldn't you at least paint your house
Sleeper hoose
It's in a shitty area. Think of the shitty exterior as camouflage. Burgler isn't going to bother with the run down shitbox house.
Yeah but if every time you open your door the neighborhood is blinded by the chandeliers reflecting off all that pearly white marble people are gonna get suspicious.
(I am so sorry, please, whatever gods there may be forgive me...)
Whoever sells this is going to lose their marbles.
load more comments
(1 replies)
There's a bang of drug money off this.
Somebody found out that ancient Roman emperors used marble and went all in on that McMansion lifestyle.
I love the absolute compromise on the placement of that PS5. And each stair step has its own tiny rug?
Exactly what I came to comment on. Got a TV that's half way off the wall and a ps5 hiding on the stairs just ready to take someone out.
Can someone in the UK tell me how that home costs £450k? Is real estate that crazy over there or are they trying to recover the £300k they spent for the marble?
40 mins to central London on tube. Lots of green spaces near by. 2 solid square bedrooms, all the cosmetic crap easily stripped out. Hard standing for 2 cars, decent back garden. Semi detached.
The only reason it's not more is "it's Dagenham" and the general shabby state of the street.
This'll get snapped up by professional couple earning 160k+ combined willing to await the inevitable gentrification in 5/10 years.
Amazing what passes for a "decent back garden" in the UK. My "back garden" is a 1/4 acre (1000m^2 ) on a property worth $140k USD including the 1200ft^2 (120m^2 ) house.
On the downside my exterior walls are made of glue and sawdust, and my interior walls are made of paper and powdered gypsum.
Well, decent "for London". People can easily buy bigger spaces elsewhere in the country but you're often in the middle of nowheresville.
Absolutely, I live a metro area with about 5 million people, it's not an international hub of anything. It's big enough to offer most of what you get in a big city aside from public transport, since our population density is wayyyyy lower.
Is it really worth it for your back yard to be 3 feet of sidewalk and a 3ft^2 patch of unruly grass? Why is that grass even there? Feels like an insult to me. Just draw a frowny face on a block of concrete. People aren't meant to live like that.
Space in London is really a trade off. Many are there just to kick start their career which in the UK London offers far more opportunities than, say, Birmingham or Manchester.
It's the same as why people put up with small apartments in Manhatten. Or Hong Kong to some extent.
Many live in smaller places early in their career and then when it's time for marriage / kids they migrate out to the commuter belt where they get larger, nicer places with a more countryside feel and a longer train ride into the city.
I think the kind of professionals who would buy the above are comparing it to a smaller (nicer) 2 bed flat closer into the city in a greener area but with no personal outdoor space. That's the trade off. They might have started a family and so just want a little outdoor space for toddlers until they move out somewhere bigger for schools.
Or some people like living in smaller urban environments and want to get in early into areas that are "gentrifying". This has happened over and over in London - move into fairly cramped run down area but with easy commute to work - many other professionals do too - more upmarket shops open locally / cafe culture - streets tidy up, prices explode. Then you sell up and move further out for the country village pad and the train ride to work.
Also, there are many careers in the UK which you can really only pursue in London (or at least it's where all the opportunities are). Finance / legal / certain arts etc.
"Nowheresville" in England is very, very relative.
Oh totally, there are many great places to live in the UK that isn't the London bubble. I was replying quickly and looking for something that summed not being near London jobs / the West end / art/ music scene etc from the point of view of the two professionals who'd likely drop that kind of money on that house
First: I don't disagree with you.
Second: England is just too small relative to the overall population to really have places that would be considered "Nowheresville" in the US. For instance, I'm looking at moving to the desert, so I can get away from people. One of the towns I'm looking at has a population of 400 (people, total), and is about 60 miles from any city over 5000 people.
That's London prices for you. That's likely the bottom end of the price scale.
load more comments
(3 replies)
That first photo - I though I was looking at a scrap heap that had already been gutted, covered in mould and rubbish and ripped up wall paper, before I realised that was just the tilling.. 🤯
The bedrooms don't look too offensive, but the rest is just so overwhelming and off putting.. Those stairs! I wish them luck lol
E: The more I think about it, the more I'm wondering if Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen did a revenge edition of Changing Rooms in there 😂(not just the look, but also the idea that it's all just cheap mdf painted to look like marble, rather than actual marble)
load more comments
(7 replies)
Somebody's been recording home movies!
Much more likely that the agent just didn't want to be in the photo.
Ha ha, yeah, I forgot the photo would have needed to be taken!
Am pretty stoned, that seems completely fair to me 😂
Wait.....who took this picture?! This must be....a vampire's house!
That price is obscene. That would be £100-150K where I live. It's this some southern thing?
I would say it's largely a problem of big cities being where everything has centralized these days, and said cities failing to provide enough housing and/or sufficiently good transportation in and out of the city.
Britain and basically all countries need to stop spending money on useless roads that get backed up with traffic when 4 people want to use them at the same time, and instead invest the money in railways. London is so stupidly huge and important that the metro network should be like twice as large, and it should also have a network of express metro lines extending even further from the city as well as proper high speed rail connecting all the way to Glasgow.
Inside the M25? It's almost shocking that it isn't double the price (not justifying this in any way, just making a point of how obscene housing prices have become, especially in greater London)
probably. according to zoopla it went for 365k in 2021. changing hands for this silly money is especially obscene since it would have previously been sold for a pittance under the right to buy
Jesus, that's insane. Tbh, that's the kinda house I'd want: unassuming on the outside, extravagant and surreal on the inside.
Veiny
"Good sized rear garden"? That is a postage stamp!
view more: next ›