this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2024
244 points (98.0% liked)

Terrible Estate Agent Photos

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Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Ignoring the obvious, I was not expecting that kind of money being dropped on the interior based on the photos of the exterior.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

I get a strong 'my mate's company bought too much of this for a project and asked if I wanted it for pennies on the pound so I said yeah, put it fucking everywhere' vibe

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

They're probably not allowed to modify the exterior at all and made the best of it for whatever reason

[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That's some real whiplash going from the exterior to the interior

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I know right, if you could afford to do that to the interior, why on earth wouldn't you at least paint your house

[–] HeChomk 43 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's in a shitty area. Think of the shitty exterior as camouflage. Burgler isn't going to bother with the run down shitbox house.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

Yeah but if every time you open your door the neighborhood is blinded by the chandeliers reflecting off all that pearly white marble people are gonna get suspicious.

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[–] FlyingSquid 54 points 3 months ago (1 children)

(I am so sorry, please, whatever gods there may be forgive me...)

Whoever sells this is going to lose their marbles.

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[–] jordanlund 43 points 3 months ago (2 children)

"I FUCKING LOVE MARBLE!!!"

[–] Etterra 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Oh yeah? Let me see your ceiling then!

[–] friend_of_satan 5 points 3 months ago

Who are you, William Randolph Hearst?

[–] FlyingSquid 7 points 3 months ago (2 children)

And fucking hate socks apparently. Unless they're wearing the grippy kind they have in hospitals.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago

There's a bang of drug money off this.

[–] Etterra 28 points 3 months ago

Somebody found out that ancient Roman emperors used marble and went all in on that McMansion lifestyle.

[–] Sinuousity 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I love the absolute compromise on the placement of that PS5. And each stair step has its own tiny rug?

[–] jacksilver 8 points 3 months ago

Exactly what I came to comment on. Got a TV that's half way off the wall and a ps5 hiding on the stairs just ready to take someone out.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (7 children)

That first photo - I though I was looking at a scrap heap that had already been gutted, covered in mould and rubbish and ripped up wall paper, before I realised that was just the tilling.. 🤯

The bedrooms don't look too offensive, but the rest is just so overwhelming and off putting.. Those stairs! I wish them luck lol

E: The more I think about it, the more I'm wondering if Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen did a revenge edition of Changing Rooms in there 😂(not just the look, but also the idea that it's all just cheap mdf painted to look like marble, rather than actual marble)

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Can someone in the UK tell me how that home costs £450k? Is real estate that crazy over there or are they trying to recover the £300k they spent for the marble?

[–] FourPacketsOfPeanuts 24 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

40 mins to central London on tube. Lots of green spaces near by. 2 solid square bedrooms, all the cosmetic crap easily stripped out. Hard standing for 2 cars, decent back garden. Semi detached.

The only reason it's not more is "it's Dagenham" and the general shabby state of the street.

This'll get snapped up by professional couple earning 160k+ combined willing to await the inevitable gentrification in 5/10 years.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Amazing what passes for a "decent back garden" in the UK. My "back garden" is a 1/4 acre (1000m^2 ) on a property worth $140k USD including the 1200ft^2 (120m^2 ) house.

On the downside my exterior walls are made of glue and sawdust, and my interior walls are made of paper and powdered gypsum.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

That's London prices for you. That's likely the bottom end of the price scale.

[–] jordanlund 7 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Not in the UK, but I'm guessing, like real estate anywhere, high population + limited availability?

There are 9 million people living in London. 607 square miles, which means, on average, 14,827 people per square mile.

Compared to, say, San Francisco with 808,000 people in 47 square miles, 17,191 people per square mile.

Globally though, numbers like this aren't even in the top 25:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_metropolitan_areas_by_population_density

My "city" is embarrassed. 635,000 people in 145 square miles. 4,379 people per square mile. We're absolutely porous by comparison.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Reading that I had to check my area, and it's a whopping 1518 people in 205.11 square miles or about 7 people per square mile. You got us beat by a long shot.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Somebody's been recording home movies!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Much more likely that the agent just didn't want to be in the photo.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ha ha, yeah, I forgot the photo would have needed to be taken!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Am pretty stoned, that seems completely fair to me 😂

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Wait.....who took this picture?! This must be....a vampire's house!

[–] brap 14 points 3 months ago (3 children)

That price is obscene. That would be £100-150K where I live. It's this some southern thing?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

Inside the M25? It's almost shocking that it isn't double the price (not justifying this in any way, just making a point of how obscene housing prices have become, especially in greater London)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

probably. according to zoopla it went for 365k in 2021. changing hands for this silly money is especially obscene since it would have previously been sold for a pittance under the right to buy

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They got the New Jersey package from their contractor

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Jesus, that's insane. Tbh, that's the kinda house I'd want: unassuming on the outside, extravagant and surreal on the inside.

[–] normalexit 11 points 3 months ago
[–] Snoopey 9 points 3 months ago

Obviously they skimped out, what with the lack of marble in the bedrooms

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Before seeing this I had no idea what it meant to have a tasteful home and now I know what it means to have a tasteless home.

There's so many things stuffed into this house that nothing has any flavor. I'm sure this will be useful information

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Looks like early 90s raytrace renders inside.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

"Good sized rear garden"? That is a postage stamp!

[–] NiPfi 6 points 3 months ago

Oh my gaudy

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Stunning? Like in, a taser stunning they mean?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (7 children)

The bathroom looks like it's 1 meter wide and no more.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

I'm sliding around just looking at it

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (2 children)
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