Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime
That's why I poop on company time
this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2024
266 points (98.9% liked)
Not The Onion
12483 readers
2376 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Boss makes a thousand, you make a buck.
Go steal the catalytic converters off the company truck.
CEO pay is 344 times the average worker's, grab the pitchforks and torches we have a mob to form.
Sorry, I don't have a cutesy rhyme.
Boss makes $3.44, I make a cent. Sharpen the guillotines, cause I can't pay my rent.
I feel like “dollar” would’ve been smoother than “$3.44” but great rhyme nonetheless.
Could just round to "3 dollars"
We'll workshop it on the way to the office
I say I'm sick, boss doesn't care
That's why I squirt a shit all over his chair
BOSS MAKES A TWENTY, I GET A BUCK
NOW I SMOKE CRACK IN THE COMPANY TRUCK
poop on company time
Amazon intensifies
Hopefully, one day, Amazon will allow their drivers to poop into bottles...
Disclosure: I'm in the UK where the worker protections are half-decent.
was it ever not OK?
It was not OK to not take a jobby on work time when you had the opportunity!
I've worked shifts where my relief staffer has been in twenty minutes early (long commute, unpredictable traffic) so I've handed the shift over, and ensured that the remainder of my time was spent losing half a kilo of weight in five minutes. Conversely, it feels far more productive to leave the house half-needing to give birth to a brown otter, and nip to the bog once your feet are clear of your workload that you've taken on from the previous shift to go and perform the bowel movement while being paid for it.
Shitting in my own khazi on my days off feels like voluntary work now.
Sensibly though, any manager who controls bog time is just a bit of a fanny. Unless someone is obviously taking the piss like spending four hours of a ten hour shift, then people will perform better once they've laid a cable whenever they've needed to.
American here. I'm choosing to believe that this is just a normal, everyday amount of poop-related slang for the UK, and that you're not playing it up for comedic effect.
If anything this is very tame.
I am literally - and I'm 100% serious - pooping at work right now.
Highly recommended.
If your good at something, never do it for free
Amazon charges you for every minute spent in the lavatory, so best not to be too awfully thorough wiping and washing your hands...
Side-note: it's so funny to substitute different words for toilet there - if I said shitter how would that read differently?:-)
xitter?
Omg that is perfection! 🤩 Nothing says "toilet" quite so well as that particular shithole.
You know longer tweet out your tweets. You “X-creet” your “X-crement”
Eww gross... I love it and h8 it at the same time!:-P
Now, I'm sure she's pretty used to the fame, but that'd still have to be a little weird for her to read.
“Remember that everyone poops. Visualise someone famous on the toilet (like Taylor Swift),” is the first recommendation.
I don't poo at work. No bidet, no shower, no go.
Why would you want to take a shit in a shitty bathroom stall with 1 micron thick toilet paper and an automated sink that barely cleans. I wait until I'm home to take a shit.
At work ppl can hear you piss even if you do the trick 😉, I couldn't imagine shitting your heart out in there.
Can't do it. Gotta poop at home. Thankfully I'm in a small community where getting home and back again is quick enough to not be missed.
No link? wtf guardian
I hate this. Community bathrooms are gross. If you can smell it, there is a piece of it inside you.
I literally have to poop at work; I can't make it home fast enough.
If the ultimate goal is to protect your health, holding it in us clearly worse than smelling a little bit of shit. You're position is, quite literally, irrational.
No, I hate that I can work from home and be comfortable but because C-Suite invested in the local lunch spot I have to sit in an office and have teams meetings with people in the cube next to me. You wanna shit with friends, go ahead. I like my bidet and soft TP.
I like my bidet and soft tp too. Although the to in my office isn't bad, but it's certainly more the bidet that I miss. Definitely prefer to shit at home, as most people do.
But the implication of your first post was that it's somehow unhealthy because the shit is now "inside you." Which is what I was addressing, not the non stated claim that you simple prefer it for bidets and toilet paper.
Fair