this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
746 points (99.0% liked)

Science Memes

11189 readers
3087 users here now

Welcome to c/science_memes @ Mander.xyz!

A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.



Rules

  1. Don't throw mud. Behave like an intellectual and remember the human.
  2. Keep it rooted (on topic).
  3. No spam.
  4. Infographics welcome, get schooled.

This is a science community. We use the Dawkins definition of meme.



Research Committee

Other Mander Communities

Science and Research

Biology and Life Sciences

Physical Sciences

Humanities and Social Sciences

Practical and Applied Sciences

Memes

Miscellaneous

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 45 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] KellysNokia 118 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Thoughts and prayers for the one patient for whom it actually was a freak accident

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Probably the priest who fell on a potato while cooking naked

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

How'd you know he was a priest if he was naked?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago

He was praying when it happened. "Oh my god"

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago

Fun fact: If you actually fell and landed on something with enough force to make it's way inside of you the object would quite literally rip your asshole. When it's a true accident, it's very clear due to the blood loss and whatnot

[–] JusticeForPorygon 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld when Frank gets a pasta statue stuck up his ass

[–] FinalRemix 6 points 2 months ago

Million-to-one shot, doc!

[–] [email protected] 89 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If i ever get something stuck up my ass while trying to pleasure myself and need medical help to remove it, I will absolutely try to come up with the most convoluted and ridiculous story for how it got there. Not out of embarrasment, but just to give the ER nurses a good laugh.

[–] irreticent 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] over_clox 4 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 85 points 2 months ago

This sign is bullshit, I accidentally put my prostate massager in my butt all the time, sometimes twice in one day.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 2 months ago (4 children)

who tf putting a key up there?

[–] over_clox 66 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Sorry, I thought it would unlock it so I could get all the other items out. Guess it was the wrong key though.. ☹️

[–] geogle 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] alquicksilver 25 points 2 months ago

No, it got stuck because it's dark, so I had to look for it with my flashlight.

[–] over_clox 3 points 2 months ago

It jingles when I fart. Also there's this weird squeaky sound.

On an unrelated note, I can't seem to find my rubber duckie...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

consider putting a magnet up there to get the key

[–] over_clox 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sorry, lost the magnet in there as well..

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I don't know how to continue this, just imagine I made a really funny reference to this book

[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Where else can you store them while swimming?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Ah the old prison wallet. Classic.

[–] Eyeuhnluuung 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I work in a ER and can assure you people high on meth put all sorts of crazy shit in their butt.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Dare I ask, why? I mean obviously meth addicts aren't known for their shrewd decisions in general, but is there some sensory or cognitive change in particular that compels them to put foreign objects in their butts more than say, alcoholics would?

[–] Eyeuhnluuung 21 points 2 months ago

Mainly the intense drive for sexual stimulation on meth combined with disinhibition and just general bad decision making.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Also curious. Possibly just sex / masturbation getting out of hand with intense stimulants, or maybe meth induced paranoia makes putting something in your ass for safe keeping seem reasonable... Meth heads generally aren't hanging out in the safest conditions.

[–] over_clox 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yes. Alcoholic beverages are generally legal, within sensible context and one's local laws anyways. But meth and meth paraphenalia such as pipes are illegal practically everywhere. Which means it's more likely to find a meth pipe up someone's ass than a beer bottle.

Although this is a generalized assumption, I'm sure there are some daring people out there that have had larger things up there...

[–] khannie 4 points 2 months ago

I heard about a guy once, who was a POW, and his friend wanted him to keep a watch for his son so he shoved it way up there.

The reference for the younger among us.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 41 points 2 months ago

This sign was made by someone who's never wiped with single-ply before.

[–] DarkCloud 33 points 2 months ago (3 children)

...and I got news for you, if someone is trying to get you to pull marbles out their ass, then that's their fetish... Because no one is worried that small marble sized balls won't eventually come out naturally... They're looking to bring attention that they're up there (and possibly to get someone to try to get them out). People are weird.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 months ago

Given US healthcare, that's gotta be more expensive than a leather fetish.

[–] over_clox 12 points 2 months ago

Speaking from experience? 🤔

[–] Neon 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Dude, if I have anything up my ass, I'm going to the hospital asap.

"it's going to come out anyway" sounds like Darwin-award last words

[–] MotoAsh 3 points 2 months ago

I mean, if you cannot pass marbles naturally, you might have other issues a doc should take a look at.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"Million to one shot, doc"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

It was a fusilli Jerry

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

"We are discreet. But we also think it's funny."

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

... that sign ... they just kept it because it seemed funny after they retrieved it from a pacient.

[–] krimson 7 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fastest salmonella in the west.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

It comes out the way it went in 😂

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

What if it's fertilized?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Scramble it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Missed the opportunity to put a golden watch on that picture.

[–] rockhstrongo 3 points 2 months ago

I know a medical coder that works exclusively with an ER. Oh the stories I've heard...