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Iβd go rob the people that made my entire 20βs and 30βs into indentured student loan servitude for exactly the dollar figure they stole from me plus the insane interest that they tacked onto it because they owned politicians who eliminated all avenues that I couldβve used to get out of that contract.
The figure they stole from me: $197,355.49
Quick question: How does it reach this figure?
It was the CitiAssist.
It had to be a private student loan because my parents made slightly over the max to qualify to public loans even though they refused to pay for school. That left me with loans with insane interest rates. Most of what I had to borrow was to cover $150k to pay rent in the college town I lived in while attending school.
Then, Joe Biden wrote the bankruptcy protection bill, making it impossible for students to disburse their student loans in bankruptcy two years after I graduated. They also refused to allow me to consolidate 8 loans which all had monthly payments that were each intentionally calculated as if it was the only loan I had to pay. Then my loans got bought and moved around and are now owned by Trellis. Thereβs a lot more to it as well. Housing and healthcare plays a HUGE part.
TLDR; hyper-commodification of basic human needs like education, housing, healthcare, and food coupled with legislation that sentences those that canβt pay their feudal lord up front to a lifetime of serfdom. (Not to mention my union wages barely keeping pace with inflation).
I had a loan like this one. Probably a plus loan. For a while the rates for plus loans eclipsed 8% and plus loans accrue interest while you are in school. So if you donβt know what youβre doing, you can take on 4 years of interest before you even start paying. Turns a $20k loan into a $30k loan before you even graduate. Plus loans recapitalize interest whenever they come out of deferral so you actually pay interest on the interest as well. So by the time you pay the loan off that is then $41k in total payments for what was originally a 20k loan
Do this 4 times for each year of undergrad and youβll have 164000 in total loan payments over your lifetime.
Plus loans are a government backed scam to fuck over poor kids who canβt front the cash for what the federal aid program covers. My base grants were only ~40k over 4 years and my federal unsubsidized and subsidized loans only were ~24k over 4 years.
Meanwhile the prestigious university I was accepted to charged 24k per semester. So I had 64k of aid and low interest loans to pay a tuition of 192k. After my work study added an additional 20k/yr I was still short 48k and poof there the plus loans were to βhelpβ me.
I'd go to the art museum and consume copious amounts of hallucinogens.
I did that at the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam
Great museum, I saw the "Potato Eaters" there.
I know of an exploit on a horribly designed website for a national car park company that would allow me to write a script that would effectively give me and anyone else i know free parking for ever for all car parks administered by this company in the country (which is a lot of car parks).
So i'd do that
I love that you have a very specific and arguably moral crime in mind, and it inspired this post.
tbh, i was inspired by a post with the same title while lurking on reddit. i have a rule about not posting there though so i bought the conversation here
Crime means breaking the law, correct?
No location is named, so I will assume this refers the laws of physics and reality.
I would:
It's fun to dream of the impossible.
~~Illegal~~ Legal immigration.
I didn't even think of that. i could apply for US and EU passports
Why'd you go for a US passport considering their globally reaching tax laws?
So i pay an accountant to file a tax return once a year. Seems okay. It's a powerful passport
Why do so many every single year go for us passports and us citizenship?
I would move to Scandinavia, maybe Denmark or Netherlands.
The law does not currently prevent me from doing anything I want to do.
if I still had my last dog then walk her without a leash.
Jaywalk then torrent a movie.
It's crazy that you guys in the US can get a ticket for crossing the road
Freedommm!!
I'm a renter, so I'd throw a brick through each window of my property manager's tesla.
Assuming we got some time beforehand to prep, blow up a pipeline or 7
Hopefully you mean ones still in construction... No need to cause an unprecedented environmental disaster after all.
Rob Fort Knox.
Rip the toupee off trumps head and get a good picture.
you still gotta deal with security though remember
But security be off committing their own crimesβ¦
Lol gotem
Nuke the world.
That's not murder; it's a war crime.
Man, I gotta brew something up in case a Crime Day comes up.
I'd like to do some proper money laundering but I'd need dirty money first. Idk, if skill wasn't an issue, I'd hack the bank and erase my debt? No, make the bank owe ME.
> Tries to rob a bank
> gets shot
Arson.
Rob a bank.
You're thinking small fries...
Rob Elon Musk.
If you think billionares have like money in a bank scrooge mcduck style, we'll I have some sad news for you, they effectively are broke to a normal persons point of view (how much actual cash they have).
Instead they have their "wealth" as stock ownership of companies, get a loan from a bank for whatever they want to buy, and then just pay it back with the growing value of their stocks, that's how they don't pay taxes in the US and still get to buy whatever the fuck they want.
Basically, something like this. https://youtu.be/t6V9i8fFADI
Oh, I'm well aware. When I say "Rob Musk" I was thinking of forcing a stock transfer rather than going after his pocket change.
it might be legal but you still have to deal with security
Go shoplift anything I want. Snack/trinket party!
Banksssss! Rob banks! Then use that money to buy snacks forever!
That'd require planning tho.
Iβd torture the shit it out of the parasite sack of shit that is my landlord
I would rob some things I want. Not the money, only the the stuff hahahahaha
Nice try mr. Copper! π
I'd go to Iowa and lie about butter.
Speeding. Oh wait... nevermind.