this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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[–] [email protected] 146 points 4 months ago (4 children)

...Sir, this is the Onion. You're not meant to report facts.

[–] RizzRustbolt 34 points 4 months ago

The energency meeting part was the satire.

They've already had a horrendously racist name for her years.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

ackshually this is the shovel

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Those quotes were far too coherent to have been real

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Pffft, like he would ever cut short a golf trip.

[–] cabron_offsets 120 points 4 months ago (3 children)

He’s not especially bright. It’ll be “Krazy Kamala”.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago (2 children)

“Cacklin’ Kamela” already exists and seems to be mean enough to fit the bill

Its only flaw is that some contingent will write “KacKlin’ Kamela” which kind of gives the game away

[–] NOT_RICK 25 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Which is pretty funny too when you pick it apart and realize the crux of that insult is “she laughs wrong”.

OH NO! Clearly that should disqualify someone from office

[–] Seleni 12 points 4 months ago

Well, given they think wearing tan suits should disqualify (people of certain skin color) from office…

[–] XeroxCool 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's not funny because this tactic works. Maybe not in such a short timeline, but it worked on Hillary Clinton. Ask any republican what they think of her and they'll tell you she's a bitch. Ask them how long they've thought of her as such and it'll be over 12 years. Ask them why and the only solid response they'll have is Benghazi and maybe a crack about not satisfying Bill. She has been vilified for mundane things to turn her into a wholly annoying person that actually hurts her public image.

So while I'm with you, it's fun to pick apart this insult to show how boring it is, I can't help but fear it's effectiveness. This is coming from the group that thought Hillary would start a war every month. You know, because all the other wars, all under men, were naturally occurring or something.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Pokemon go to the polls!

I mean Trumpists don't care about facts, they will lap anything up.

But Hillary was hated all over the spectrum.

[–] XeroxCool 2 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, and what was she hated for?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Ignoring several states in her campaign.

Being absolutely unrelatable.

Her policies very conservative.

Generally acting like the world owed her the position.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Attacking victims of sexual assault. I'm sure there are a lot of other genuine reasons for not liking her. I was not brain washed into hating her. I still voted for her.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

To be honest the guy can come up with some catchy nicknames, there's even a Wikipedia article listing them:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_nicknames_used_by_Donald_Trump

Like, "Little Rocket Man" is fucking savage. 😂

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago (2 children)

That's the whole problem with him in a nutshell, to be honest. He's an entertainer after all. You can call it what you want but there is a weird sort of charisma mixed in with the narcissism and utter deranged lunacy. That's why he's so dangerously good at appealing to his base and maintaining this cult of personality.

[–] jaybone 4 points 4 months ago

He wasn’t even really an entertainer though. He’s “entertaining” because of how big of a douchbag he is, which is why he got The Apprentice show. I don’t think most people watched that because they thought he was the hero of that story.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

Meatball Ron is my personal favorite. As a Floridian I've had ample opportunity to whip that one out in conversation

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

the "convicted felon" is the only nicknane people should use for him, though.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

We already have "Crooked Joe", he's just going to recycle that as "Crooked Kamala"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Sleepy Kamala doesn't have the right ring to it I suppose, lol.

[–] OhmsLawn 43 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

It took me 4 goddamned times. I scrolled past this article 4 times before I saw it was satire.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] TexasDrunk 8 points 4 months ago

Same. I was thinking "Hot Lips Harris" as an homage to "Hot Lips Houlihan". Then I started reading replies and went back to see where I went wrong.

[–] dogsnest 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Why reinvent? "Heels Up Harris" has been around.

[–] thesporkeffect 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Doesn't work as a pejorative, she is more referred to by her first name.

[–] dogsnest 2 points 4 months ago

Totally agree, saw a Kacklin' Kamaltoe, but doesn't do it....

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

No doubt she's a nasty^TM woman.

[–] fox2263 11 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I think his last speech he said he calls her Laughing Harris because of how she laughs. She’s a crazy woman apparently.

[–] SuckMyWang 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Women aren’t supposed to laugh according to republicans

[–] XeroxCool 6 points 4 months ago

Female autonomy will crush the prospects of a trad husband

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He's so juiceless, this is nothing lmao

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Her laugh is fucking great too, which is what makes this extra stupid. Its full throated and heartfelt, just out and out joyous. The kind of laugh that warms a fucking room.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

couldn't tell if TheOnion at first.

[–] numberfour002 4 points 4 months ago

Maybe JD Vance will suggest something like "Not the mom-ala" Harris.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

if republicans actually spent time working on policies that people actually supported maybe their entire campaign wouldn't fall apart when their opponents base get fired up.

[–] Delusional 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Sexist and possibly a thinly-veiled racist name as well.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

You're hired!!

[–] barsquid 2 points 4 months ago

Doesn't he just reuse "nasty woman" for all women?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Harris the karamel

[–] MehBlah 1 points 4 months ago

I'm not sure this a onion type thing.

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