this post was submitted on 12 May 2024
138 points (96.0% liked)

Not The Onion

11164 readers
1007 users here now


We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
top 21 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 73 points 2 months ago

Brett Harrison should be in prison. He lied and stated tokenized stocks were backed by an actual share 1:1.

He departed FTX conveniently just before their demise.

SBF is right where he belongs— but Brett Harrison and Caroline Ellison should be his cell mates too in my opinion.

[–] whereisk 49 points 2 months ago

Main character syndrome.

[–] Thekingoflorda 44 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

How could I do this to myself!

[–] foggy 34 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

They chose well, dude is incredibly unlikable.

Have fun in jail, you once-rich failure.

[–] FlashMobOfOne 21 points 2 months ago

From what I've learned of that guy, I'm sure he honestly believes this.

What an asshole.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago

Listened to the 'If Books Could Kill' episode on 'Going Infinite' by Michael Lewis. Despite Lewis being a blind fan of Sam Bankman-Fried, he makes him sound like an absolute sociopath. I think that sure Sam might've been the fall guy and some other dudes should be in jail too, but I also think that he absolutely has some serious mental problems and probably shouldn't be allowed to run a business ever again.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago

Which could even be true, but he still belongs in jail.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

The person who set him up? Himself!!!

dun dun DUNNNNNN

[–] MargotRobbie 11 points 2 months ago

Didn't he openly played video games in the middle of an investor call?

If he is set up to be the fail guy, they could not have picked a worst person, because everything about him screams "you shouldn't trust this guy with your money".

[–] essell 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] morphballganon 2 points 2 months ago

Or did he mean it?

[–] elbarto777 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Why is this considered "Not the Onion" material?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

His narrative is hilarious. Not me, everybody else

[–] Delphia 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I believe that there is probably a huge list of others who should be in there with him and that its entirely possible that he was made an example of more than might have been legally necessary.

Theres been a lot of dodgy shit, outright fraud and scams attached to crypto that its not outside the realms of possibility that they wanted him nailed to the wall to send a message.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Again then. Sometimes it's important not to talk about others and spend some time self reflecting. He's not there yet. For me, the power of denial is overrated.

[–] elbarto777 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't see it, but okay.

If the article was about him starting a cigarettes exchange scam inside prison, well, we'd be talking!

[–] HootinNHollerin 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

That’s coming after he gets through the denial phase and into the acceptance phase haha

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

set up by who?

he was the one in charge

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Isn't he a bit young to start the whole tech bro conspiracy hobo arch

[–] Coreidan 3 points 2 months ago