this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 191 points 6 months ago (7 children)

Those videos they did 16 years ago were some of the funniest things I've ever seen.

[–] [email protected] 135 points 6 months ago (2 children)

"America's gays too precious to risk in combat" is legendary

[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Thanks for giving me a goal today. I must watch this lol

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

The ninja parade is solid gold, as well.

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends 59 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This is easily my favorite video ever, made by the Onion.

Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MGXSPf9b-xI

Her "uuuugh sigh" is so good

[–] SpacetimeMachine 32 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My personal fav was "Congressman makes preemptive apology for extramarital affair"

https://youtu.be/jNX518hfghU

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

I loved the autistic reporter series

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

The stupid fucking piece of shit that doesn’t do what it god damn well should video cracks me up every time

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

That content was truly peak satire. I remember automatically downloading each episode onto my iPod Video to watch them. Good times

[–] MimicJar 7 points 6 months ago

The marijuana one was my favorite since it randomly played one of about a dozen videos when you played the video.

So if you played it twice, it was a different video. If you shared it with a friend, a different video.

The general story told in each video was the same, some only having minor changes and others being completely unhinged.

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[–] [email protected] 122 points 6 months ago

Whether this is satire, or the "give us $1 or else" article is, or they're both dead serious... this is peak Onion.

In an age where reality is such bullshit that real life articles sound more like The Onion than The Onion, it is exactly what we need. I embrace our new deeply layered pungent overlords.

[–] [email protected] 106 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I hope this goes as well as it's being marketed to be, but I've long since stopped trusting people who have enough money to make a news-worthy purchase. Time will tell on this one for me.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

this was my first tought. the discourse is also the same every time: oh we wont change anything about it! proceeds to change everything about it for the worse

[–] [email protected] 83 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 77 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 months ago

I am $1 poorer

[–] JimmyChanga 19 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Is that for real or has the takeover made that unnecessary? Can't tell anymore is they're serious

[–] [email protected] 61 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Anymore? The onion is, and always has been, dead serious.

[–] rtxn 41 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Even the jokes.

Especially the jokes.

[–] samus12345 32 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

“Me? A subversive political agent? No I am just a simple tailor as you can see, look around my shop and all you will find are handmade jokes created by the best craftsman in the Alpha Quadrant”

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Jokes you say hmm?

[–] [email protected] 48 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Already, our trained technicians are navigating through the website and deleting every instance of the letter “T.” Soon, they will move onto the letter “E.”

[–] JimmyChanga 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Haha, guess I could have read it a bit closer

[–] lemmingnosis 4 points 6 months ago

Yah I would hink so

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Bu he onion news nework needs he leer E!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Bu h onion nws n work nds h lr !

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[–] Tarquinn2049 23 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

That seems to be their article announcing the takeover, if so, that's a pretty great way to prove they have the same sense of humour and intentions.

Also, looking forward to new episodes of onion news network. Hope they can get some of the original staff back too, the "morning show" hosts were awesome.

[–] Speculater 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That fucking iWheel keyboard had me dying when it came out. "with a single button you can type anything you want."

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm not sure If this is more satire by the onion or not

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] samus12345 30 points 6 months ago

The name Global Tetrahedron is, in true Onion fashion, a winking reference to a sinister fictional company featured in the book “Our Dumb Century,” which was written by The Onion’s staff and published in 1999.

I love that book. I often think about the article from 2000 about all the world's corporations merging into OmniCorps and how close that is to becoming a reality.

[–] Wilzax 53 points 6 months ago

The onion should be a worker's collective given that the best satire comes from groups without ulterior motives and outside influences. No reason it should be possible for any company to lay off a majority of its workforce without fully going under and becoming a failed business.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 6 months ago

They really salvaged a legacy in the age of enshitification, that's already legendary.

[–] littlebluespark 39 points 6 months ago

Hol' up.

Does that mean that somehow The Onion is the last truly free press at the end of civilization? Fuck me. That's probably the most poetically just dessert I've ever heard of.

p.s. I swear to fuck, if either the Simpsons or xkcd already did this. Dammit. They did, didn't they? 🤦🏽‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 38 points 6 months ago

Hope that's not an onion article

[–] [email protected] 29 points 6 months ago

Thank god! Their recent low budget, low effort short form videos have not been good

[–] Diplomjodler3 28 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] evidences 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Journalist formally of the daily beat and later NBC. NBC apparently pulled him from covering Twitter last year after he said something about about Elon on his personal social media accounts.

[–] Diplomjodler3 26 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Well, he's going to have a hard time coming up with satirical roasts about Musk that won't be overtaken by reality the next day.

[–] Passerby6497 14 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I've said for years that the onion should periodically publish real articles just to fuck with people, and ever since Mango Mussolini it wouldn't even need to change much to do so.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

Isn't the Onion the one that reposts the school shooting article with only the date changed everytime a shooting happens in the states? To my knowledge its a real news article

Edit: Found it, it seems though the last time they updated it was in 2022, but its basically a non satire response to the fact that absolutely nothing is being done to deal with the state's problem with mass shootings

[–] Diplomjodler3 4 points 6 months ago

What do you mean, nothing is being done? They're giving more people guns! Surely that will solve the problem!

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (2 children)

2024 is going to be simultaneously the best and worst year of all time

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago

If they have a bunch of articles completely dragging this new CEO I will pay for a subscription.

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[–] Linkerbaan 18 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

So we'll get the videos back? Excellent!

[–] BrianTheeBiscuiteer 4 points 6 months ago

Sony's Stupid Box Thing was epic.

[–] just_another_person 14 points 6 months ago

I'm here for it if it's as described.

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