this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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I am trying to cut out Reddit from my life but I'm always ending up re-installing it because I simply don't know what do with my time. We have two small kids (1y and 3y) so I can't simply just read more, train more, play games, watch TV, etc.

It's rather.. Reddit filled those small micro breaks I get throughout the day. When I have a few minutes on my own when my wife has the kids.

Lemmy is nice but it's just not enough content to fill this need. I have been thinking about Blinkist or reading something lighter on my phone (something which is easy to take a break from whenever).

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[–] FMT99 53 points 7 months ago (1 children)

If they really are micro breaks, as in a few minutes, try doing nothing. Just being alone with your thoughts a few times per day is good for you. We're not made to have our attention grabbed by media 24/7.

[–] disguy_ovahea 3 points 7 months ago

I’ve read that’s where original thought comes from. I’ll just check for corroborating sources, just to be sure. gets lost in another research rabbit hole

[–] [email protected] 35 points 7 months ago

Honestly I think it would be quite healthy if we learned to be a little more bored during those micro breaks.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Uh... Lemmy?

It provides exactly the same or better experience from my perspective.

[–] designated_fridge 8 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I said in my final paragraph that Lemmy is nice but there is so little content here. The communities I frequent here (with very active reddit counterparts) have like a submission every few days. Just check [email protected] for example.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

Try All with Top of the day or Top of 12 hours? Also try posting content there yourself?

[–] gimpchrist 4 points 7 months ago

If you go on the all / new page and you keep on refreshing it's kind of like reddit.. and all you got to do is just keep on joining all of the groups on the all page and soon your feed will be filled up

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago

...I browse Lemmy?

As in: my interaction with Reddit has been already reduced to a bare minimum, before I migrated. As such what you're calling "not enough content" was already enough for me to replace whatever I still did in Reddit, plus a bit more. (I'm far more active here than I was there.)

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago

I dunno, lemmy seems to not do it for you, but I think that's a good thing.

I'm not trying to ignore what you're asking, but this is one of those things where you may have the chance to get rid of part of the digital world rather than just changing what part you use.

If it's only a few minutes here and there, you don't have to fill the time with distractions. Post reddit, when lemmy isn't enough to fill time (and my disabled ass has way more time than anything else), I end up going back to the way I used to spend short periods of time pre-reddit.

I just don't do anything external necessarily. I may end up doing something like wiping down the counter/table, or whatever little chore is handy, but I just let myself drop into mindfulness. Not in a fully meditative sense, but just moving and letting myself process the sensations while my mind drifts a little. Kind of like when you're in the shower, only more active.

The physical sensations keep the mind busy enough that thoughts don't get heavy or pulled towards the next task that's necessary. That lets the mind drift and rest pleasantly.

That's a great way to spend five or ten minutes. It refreshes, and it really feels like more time than it is, so it feels like more of a break than chasing some specific activity does.

Time doesn't have to be filled with the external.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Try to remember that Reddit spent years using algorithms and dark patterns specifically designed to addict you. I say this because I struggle with the same thing. I want off Reddit but have been visiting daily since 2011 so it's not easy.

So don't be too hard on yourself and keep weaning yourself off the habit. It may take some time but you can do it.

This was done to you, and it's pretty damn insidious, but it's not a severe gambling addiction or crack cocaine so ultimately it's low stakes. You'll get there and good for you for trying.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Idk if you like to read but ive found it to be a fantastic replacement for doomscrolling reddit.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Good question. I like Lemmy because there is no doom-scrolling. Of course it's a bit more complicated if you want some distraction available whenever you want. In the old times people read magazines or newspapers. Maybe an RSS feed reader with some blogs, but that won't be interactive. You can also use Mastodon or other social media. Mastodon is a bit more populated than Lemmy. I also like podcasts and there is a plethora of good podcasts around... But that's not "micro".

[–] Fake4000 12 points 7 months ago

Depending on how long these breaks. I've taken podcasts as a way to unwind.

Also, YouTube is still a good option for short videos. It might not be easy though to filter out based on duration.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Started reading books again. Refreshing!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

being bored is good for your brain btw

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I browse Lemmy. Sorted by top 12 hours in the voyager app. That gets me through a few hours each day during the week. Then on the weekends when I have a little extra scroll time I go to mastodon when Lemmy is exhausted, and then I visit the few Lemmy communities I subscribe to sorted by new. I also have Feedly for RSS feed articles and Pixelfed occasionally. I have an almost 2 year old. My husband has a couple mobile games (mostly Pokémon related) that he’ll use for a few minutes at a time.

Edit: I’ve also used Libby to read ebooks. If I have to stop suddenly because kids, I’ll just highlight whatever word I stopped on and pick back up later.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Same thing I did on r*ddit. Now I just scroll through all instead of the communities I was a part of since the content here actually is able to keep me interested when it's in all.

[–] tigerjerusalem 7 points 7 months ago

I use my phone to read books. Every micro break is a couple or more of paragraphs I read. I lost count of how many books I already finished instead of just doomscrolling...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Mastodon maybe? Not quite as Lemmy but if you follow a couple prolific accounts it can fill up fast with posts. Plus there are trending posts as well.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Listen to some music, perhaps?

I like to keep up with the news, too, when I have a little free time

[–] twistypencil 4 points 7 months ago

I get my news on lemmy...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You could try to take up smoking

/s

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

That's great...

I vaguely remember we had a research Dr once speaking about the issues of overweight baby births and a reporter asked them what people can do - this was a snarky suggestion :)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Have another kid, boom problem solved because you won't even have time for micro breaks. You're welcome.

[–] BoxerDevil 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Reading manga. And I got a job

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

And I got a job

...Reading manga? Lucky... 🥺

[–] BoxerDevil 4 points 7 months ago

No, sadly. Cook at a gas station

[–] kinther 5 points 7 months ago

Lemmy is my main social media now. I have been focusing on what I have control over in an increasingly crazy world. So studying for certifications that might lead to new work opportunities, catching up on reading books I've been postponing, and learning to garden.

Yeah, I spent a lot of time on reddit. The lack of content on Lemmy is a blessing in disguise.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

A Nintendo Switch for games might be perfect for micro breaks. The system goes in and out of sleep mode within a split second and you can pick up the game right where you left it. Even if that means resuming a game you paused two weeks ago. No boot times or loading times present.

[–] ABCDE 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Try to avoid scrolling at other places. Lemmy a bit, news and whatnot (but limited with where I get it, otherwise I'll never stop), try to watch stuff, practice my writing in other languages, drink.

[–] twistypencil 1 points 7 months ago

Drink water

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Podcasts, video essays and videogames mostly. If you need a game on your phone that you can pick up and put down at a moment's notice I recommend Shattered Pixel Dungeon, it's completely free.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Absolutely feel you. We have a 2.5 year old, she's not in kindergarten yet, and what I get are micro breaks and I want to be like my husband who can just read Zelensky's biography or a buddhist book for 5-15 minutes (his breaks are not as micro as mine) and have the concentration - or accept the lack thereof - to read. Sometimes he plays guitar with us in the room. Or does mini yoga sessions (like, 1 exercise for 2-3 minutes).

I, too, struggle without reddit in the microbreaks. Especially when breastfeeding because our girl kicks away books or magazines I basically only have my phone. What I can tell you is that lemmy got more instances so check out more communities and keep adding. It can help but yes it's no reddit. Tbh I've been wanting to go back to reddit for ages, I just never get around to installing it again. I also check out a news app and read wikipedia articles. Did you know that giant deer were a thing and that Einstein was kind of an asshole in relationships? Light reading and you get into a draft where you end up with 100 tabs open to read that wait for you. This probably sounds whelp but it is really kinda addictive and fun, you can gain some knowledge and understanding or at least conversation topics.

Since you are probably not breastfeeding (I GUESS) try the magazine thing. Something light might do. There's been a great family/parenting focused magazine in Germany but it has been discontinued.

I am also going to start trying to knit. My guess is that it won't work because my toddler will take the needles and yarn the second she sees them but Idk how your kids are.

I've also been going to some playgroups and it's always recommended to not cater to the kids and "just let them watch" or "integrate" or "play in parallel" to you doing stuff like household. I personally ask myself what kind of kids people have that this approach would work most of the time. But if this works for your family try filling the breaks with household stuff that maybe the kids can, as mentioned above, watch, join, or parallel play to. Clean a window, fix a hole in a shirt. Leaves you with less chores and tasks and if you're lucky you can shut off your brain for a while. That's the proclaimed ideal.

At the end of the day, lemmy isn't reddit, and reddit kept us well entertained in these micro breaks. I absolutely feel you and I also don't want to be a parent who pretends phones and media don't exist or that I don't use them. But I think we should have some stuff to do to fill the microbreaks with besides our phones. Like, man, I cannot give you any advice but we can brainstorm together if you want. Because I also want more enjoyable breaks, as well as spend less time looking at a screen in these - for my own health and for my child, she should see that I can fill my time not only with these screen induced dopamine kicks.

[–] Today 3 points 7 months ago
[–] Stern 3 points 7 months ago

No kids so I've read more, though at times I'll hit youtube shorts or Netflix/Amazon/Hulu

[–] Macaroni_ninja 3 points 7 months ago

I quit reddit when the API-calipse happened, while had a 1 year old. These helped me to use my newly found free time in short bursts, while still having a sense of accomplishment and progress:

  • Handheld game console with suspend function to be able to put any game on pause with a press of a button (switch, steam deck)

  • Duolingo

  • Mastodon/Pixelfed

  • Audiobooks

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I spend some time on Lemmy, obviously, but a lot less than I did on Reddit. It's been great! I've been getting outdoors a lot more with daily walks and weekly hikes. I published a short children's book a few months ago, and now I'm about 15,000 words into the first draft of an adult scifi novel. I didn't appreciate how much time I was pissing away. Thanks, u/spez!

[–] twistypencil 2 points 7 months ago

Play mtgarena daily rewards

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I was never really into twitter, but I like Mastodon a lot. It takes some time to find people to follow (but can be fun to do in the micro breaks)

My Mastodon feed is pretty active now with stuff I'm interested in. If you were on reddit to keep up with the news, that's doable on Mastodon.

What are some of the niche communities you are missing? Maybe they are here just harder to find?

If you like books, maybe switch to short stories? I found when I didn't have time for novels, they were great alternative. Especially stuff like Neil Gaiman or collections of authors. Or like NG's Norse Mythology or Stephen Fry's Mythos. I listened to them on audio though because they are great story tellers and if I lost track it was easy to start the story over.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Thanks! Mythos looks wonderful

[–] nadram 1 points 7 months ago

Videogames when they nap / sleep. I have 2 kids more or less the same ages. The eldest games a little on weekends with me.

[–] ExtraMedicated 1 points 7 months ago

I found some new webcomics while browsing Lemmy and bookmarked their websites to visit occasionally.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

I have a 2,5 year old, and when I’m not spending my micro breaks scrolling I practice my Rubik’s cube, noodle around on my guitar or do some quick cleaning. But most of the time I’m scrolling.

[–] thezeesystem -4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

For real. Tiktok does that for me if you can use sound.

[–] pHr34kY 4 points 7 months ago

Most of the reason I liked reddit (and use Lemmy) is because I use it almost exclusively while people are talking. Sound must always be off.