this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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I just feel like I'm intruding on a private moment and just sit there tense and embarrassed until it's over. Trying not to listen to the schlorp schlorp noises.

But it's such a common trope, I so assume I'm in some weird minority.

Does anyone find it enjoyable to watch? If so, why and how?

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[–] Thekingoflorda 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Please keep rule 2 in mind while responding (:

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Prolonged kissing/sex scenes just feel like filler, we can understand how intimate the characters are after 10s, we dont need 2 minutes of it. Obviously this is different if its specifically a porno.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Don't even get me started on the sex scenes in the last movie I watched. It was downright gratuitous and took away from the plot, which seemed completely underdeveloped. After the last one in the franchise I thought they had struck a solid balance, but Backdoor Sluts 9 was a huge letdown

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

My understanding is that Backdoor Sluts 10 has been greenlit with a new director. Let's hope they can turn it around and really slam it this time!

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[–] OrangeCorvus 39 points 1 year ago (11 children)

I'm ok with them. What really bores me in movies are the fighting scenes near the end of the movie, when they encounter the bad guys. They share fists in each other's faces for a good 10 minutes until one of them decides to go down. I usually skip forward. 1 minute fight scenes should be enough.

[–] StarManta 39 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I always feel like I’m in the minority when it comes to action sequences. They are 80% of the time the most boring part of a movie. Plot and character development don’t happen during them, and usually (especially for the big climactic fight scene) the outcome is certain.

For me, the only exceptions are generally:

Fights that the heroes might actually lose. (So usually, the fights earlier in the show)

Fights where there are good character moments or development during it. (The Princess Bride sword fight scene is a classic for this)

Fights with lots of good strategy/tactics in them. (Game of Thrones had a lot of this, at least prior to the last season)

There are a very few fight scenes I’ll actually enjoy outside of these ones, and it feels like many action movies don’t bother with any of this.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I agree completely. Som many good movies spoiled by meaningless fights.

[–] Deestan 4 points 1 year ago

Agree on fight scenes. They are only interesting if they have uncertainty or show some clever and competent fighting. Any fight scene where the bad guy picks up his opponent and instead of strangling him to death just throw him a few meters away and goes "raah!" should just be edited out in its entirety.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I feel similar about car chase sequences. There are occasionally creative or interesting moments in them but for the most part they are like you said, the outcome is certain and they feel like filler that for some reason every action movie needs to have.

They also rarely make sense, with high end sports cars struggling to outmaneuver big trucks, and motorcycles somehow managing to be any kind of threat to the main characters vehicle.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Without that feeling that the hero may lose (which doesn't exist in 99% of movies now), it's just so boring to watch. Zzzz.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I do, but only if it's built up properly. This is also true of musical numbers and fight scenes. If built up properly, they can be incredibly cathartic and the best parts of the film, but if not, they grind the plot to a halt.

The reason so many people hate these kinds of scenes is that most screenwriters are really bad at creating tension. The purpose of these scenes is to release emotional tension, so without building this, they feel pointless and jarring. The best parody of this is in Men in Tights when Robin bursts into a love song out of nowhere and it scares the hell out of Marian.

I'm trying to provide examples of love scenes I actually like in films, and to be honest, I'm coming up blank. I think it may just be a lot more difficult to generate romantic tension in the average timespan of a film. It's easier in television, where you get more time to tell the story. I think my favorite intimate scene in tv is in Game of Thrones season 3 when John and Ygritte are in the cave.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Wesley and Buttercup would be a good example. Or maybe I'm remembering it with rose glasses as the kiss itself was narrated by Columbo and Kevin Arnold didn't mind.

[–] databender 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Last of the Mohicans homie; there are a few scenes in that one that scorch AND add to the story. It's like it's giving you the reason for fighting an unwinnable battle.

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[–] MirthfulAlembic 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Very rarely. Physical intimacy in movies or TV is like a strong seasoning. In the right place, it can accentuate the flavor and bring it to another level. Otherwise, you're just adding curry powder to a cherry danish.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

The only time it works, is when it's earned. The characters' love finally triumphing after all the obstacles thrown at them is the only way I actually enjoy it.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My partner is asexual and hates these scenes.
Being very much not asexual, I too hate these scenes.

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[–] _finger_ 23 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I’m fine with them, except for this one

[–] Crackhappy 8 points 1 year ago

What the pedophile fuck...

[–] newthrowaway20 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why you gotta do Blank Check dirty like that 😭

[–] oscarlavi 3 points 1 year ago

Looks like Blank Check did itself dirty!

[–] badtooth 3 points 1 year ago

Jesus Christ that is uncomfortable. How did that make it through to the final cut of the movie? Gross.

[–] alaphic 19 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I haaaate this shit, and have since I was a kid. I actually recently had a discussion with my gf (both of us in our 30s) along these lines, though I more specifically asked her if she could think of a scene in any media in which the story just absolutely could not move forward without one of those stupid, bawdy, explicit sex scenes, and neither of us could think of one.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Shortbus, maybe? The whole film is about becoming more sexually aware. No idea if it’s any good, though. My research into the matter was only so thorough...

[–] ricecooker 5 points 1 year ago

On-screen kissing doesn't bother me, just don't like the ones that seemed forced or are cheesy.

Racked my mind for good examples, and came up with Tobey Spider-Man kissing Mary Jane upside down in the rain and Jack and Rose's first kiss on the deck of the Titanic.

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[–] Boozilla 18 points 1 year ago

They are boring, IMO. I usually "click on the jump ahead clicker" and clear my throat like an old man.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

I don't like it either, specially when watching with my girlfriend. Feels awkward.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

It depends, but I find it's at it's worst when the kiss is the 'reward' for the hero/heroine for being so heroic. Or just generally when it's used as a lazy piece of short hand storytelling to show 'yeah these guys love each other or something, whatever'.

On the other hand it can be genuinely cathartic or romantic.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I consider them part of normal human behavior and therefore natural in movies. If anything I might think more intimacy should be portrayed on screen. But this question and many of the replies let me see that I am not necessarily typical in my view that sex, love, and kissing are no big deal in media.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Going to the bathroom and sleeping are also normal human behavior, but I'm still not gonna watch a show or movie that shows someone spending 10 minutes on the toilet. Not because I think its gross , but just boring imo. But given I consider myself aroace-spec, I don't expect my experience to necessarily be representative. And I think those things should be considered more normal in every-day life, rather than something that needs to be hidden, so normalizing it in media is probably a step forward.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Thank you for this post! You describe my feelings very well. Good to know i'm not the only one.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's the wet sloppy mouth sounds they throw in on top of the kissing scenes that drives me up the fucking wall

[–] Deestan 5 points 1 year ago

One time they should just throw in the sound of someone drinking jelly with a straw and see if anyone notice.

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[–] BendyLemmy 11 points 1 year ago

Sometimes there is VICARIOUS pleasure to be had - I never noticed 'schlorp schlorp' noises.

There's a lot of truth in the adage that 'sex sells'. To imagine yourself being in the position of the person on screen is rather a guilty pleasure, enabling you to take part in 'consentual sex' with someone by simply imagining that you are the one doing the act.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Trying not to listen to the schlorp schlorp noises.

Dude, you're killing me. Best description of kissing noises ever!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I hate them so much! I wish there was a patch for movies that removed all the kissing scenes. It skeeves me out. I usually mute it and look away.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

What's better than feeling like the creep just watching while two people make out?

[–] Arsaille 8 points 1 year ago

No, but I see why people would like them. I personally don't like them because I feel like it's almost always an unnecessarily long scene to begin with. If it's more than 10 seconds, it just feels like it's meant to make people horny.

[–] LoyalOrange503 8 points 1 year ago

Makes me feel awkward

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So I'm alone in liking kissing scenes? I also like sex scenes and gratuitous violence.

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[–] psion1369 5 points 1 year ago

A kissing scene for me is useless without ramp up. If I watch a movie and it's "Hi honey, let's make out!", Then it's porn. But if there is a dance, word play, two people who I know are in love, then it's an amazing scene and the kissing is my payoff.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

not really. It's just weird to watch, especially with parents.

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