this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2024

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Biden Announces He’s Reheating Chili If Anyone’s Interested (www.theonion.com)

submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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WASHINGTON—Stating that it was as easy to prepare 330 million helpings as one, President Joe Biden announced Thursday that he was reheating chili if anyone was interested. “I’m going to pop some chili into the microwave in a minute or so if anyone wants some,” said Biden, who raised his eyebrows as he gestured emphatically at the large container of leftover meat and beans and repeated “anyone want in on this?” “It smells good. I bet it tastes good, too. It’s from Tuesday, but it should still be good. Better, even. It gives the flavors time to mingle. Alright, last chance if anyone wants any. You’ll need to get past security to get into the White House, but I can arrange that.” At press time, Biden was attempting to entice the nation by shaking a bag of oyster crackers.

link: https://www.theonion.com/biden-announces-he-s-reheating-chili-if-anyone-s-intere-1851174872

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[–] [email protected] 92 points 10 months ago

It’s from Tuesday, but it should still be good. Better, even. It gives the flavors time to mingle.

Finally a president with some damn sense

[–] FartsWithAnAccent 67 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You know what? Yeah, I'll fuck with some chili.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago

Don't fuck the chili.

[–] NABDad 63 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Shit. I'd eat chili with Biden.

[–] elliot_crane 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Hell yeah, and if secret service didn’t tackle me for taking out my phone to take a selfie, I’d even take my chances and ask if he wants to go for an ice cream cone afterwards.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

You offer to hop on amtrak as well and the man would literally hug you.

[–] Lightborne 36 points 10 months ago

Goddamn this is way funnier than it has any right being

[–] Son_of_dad 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I bet the white house kitchen makes bomb chili though

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

I have no doubt Andre Rush makes a mean-ass chili.

[–] TropicalDingdong 15 points 10 months ago

Can we fire up the grill and throw some dogs on it too?

[–] misterundercoat 15 points 10 months ago

When asked about his family recipe, Biden stated that the secret is to undercook the onions.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

A nice bowl of chili deserves a cracker.

[–] dohpaz42 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Out of all the shit the Onion puts out, why they gotta joke about some chili? That’s plain evil. EVIL!

[–] toomanypancakes 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Seriously, they got no chili chill

[–] dohpaz42 4 points 10 months ago

Reminds me of a joke though:

Yo mama so stupid she heard it was gonna be chilly, so she went outside with a bowl and spoon.

[–] moistclump 1 points 10 months ago

Can’t tease me with a headline like that. I got my hopes up and everything.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

I'd be interested but I literally just made some yesterday.

[–] IndigoGollum 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Only reheating it for a minute? Soup like foods need a couple minutes on medium-high power if you don't want ðem to be cold or get a microwave skin.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

In a minute, not for a minute. As in, 1 minute from now I will be starting the microwave.

I know, I misread it too.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago

Eh, I don't miss it at all.