this post was submitted on 24 Jan 2024
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[–] betterdeadthanreddit 106 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I still don't understand the red urinals, they make such a mess when you use them.

[–] assassinatedbyCIA 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

They’re for faeces silly.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Obviously, yeah, I'm not a moron. Still doesn't make it any less of a disaster zone once the transaction is complete.

[–] assassinatedbyCIA 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Which hand do you use to catch the turd? That might be the problem here.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Hey! This guy doesn't know how to use the three shells!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

What a terrible day to be literate

[–] [email protected] 68 points 11 months ago (8 children)

Every woman I've explained this to thinks it's ridiculous. They actually choose stalls next to each other in case they need toilet paper or something.

And they talk in the bathroom. To strangers. What the hell is up with that?

[–] jadedwench 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I do not understand the whole bathroom thing either. I hate it when women try to talk to me in the bathroom. I do not understand why I have to go to the bathroom with them either and I certainly don't need a minder. I could understand maybe at a club or something if they genuinely didn't feel safe, but always just boggles my mind.

Also, fuck those overpowering auto fragrance sprayers that set my allergies off.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

We don't need male and female bathrooms. We need talking and non-talking bathrooms.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I think they might feel differently if the toilets were right next to each other, with either no wall between them or a wall so short that its practically useless.

[–] DagonPie 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Or a troff. Nothing bonds two dudes more than rubbing shoulders and splashing piss on each other from backsplash from the pee wall.

[–] Got_Bent 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

God I remember that at baseball games when I was a kid. Candlestick Park to be exact.

Bunch of guys lined up at the trough, beer in one hand, dick in the other, cigarette in mouth, piss all over the concrete floor.

Kids today don't know how good they have it with these divided urinals.

[–] DagonPie 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Fenway park before they redid ALL the bathrooms. Before they started doing concerts there basically. But everyones feet squeeked because of the piss all over the floors. The stalls had no doors. And it was just a troff wall. And my stepdad was just like “go find room in the line of dudes” as like a 11 year old. Basically eye level with a buncha dicks. Good times.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 11 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It's my missing the "I use Arch, BTW".

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

Of course, I use Arch, BTW.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago

They are defragging the urinals!

[–] samus12345 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

At least he didn't turn to use the same urinal as the other guy. "Sword fight!"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

All I got is a dagger at best, take it or leave it.

[–] samus12345 3 points 11 months ago (2 children)

"No, I meant the pee streams, THE PEE STREAMS!!"

[–] RickMoreanus 3 points 11 months ago

Well according to your theory, one of us has been doing it wrong this whole time.

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[–] taanegl 5 points 11 months ago

The etiquette of pissoires must not be neglected. That's a quick way to either get decked or get slapped with a glove.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I can't believe no one has posted the xkcd writeup on the International Choice of Urinal Protocol (ICUP) in this thread yet.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Thanks for saving me few seconds - I needed this here!

[–] Jiggle_Physics 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

There is always that one dude who walks into a bathroom, sees a row of 20 urinals with only one person using them, and goes to the one right next to him. That guy also has a tendency to turn his head to look at you and try to strike up a conversation.

[–] Gigan 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The bathroom at my work has 3 urinals. There's a guy that picks the middle one every time.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Gotta assert that dominance.

[–] Gigan 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] aubertlone 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Isn't it just closer to chaotic neutral?

What's evil about being in the middle of the urinal stalls?

Nothing I prefer to do that, just saying it's not evil.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Chaotic evil would be peeing on the guy next to you.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

Bluntly, those are not the same picture. As a dude, I see a couple of important things right away. Most importantly, there's dividers between the urinals in the second picture.

If there's room, I'll still leave a gap, but with no dividers, if there isn't room to leave a gap, depending on the spacing of the urinals, I might just want to wait until there can be a gap. With dividers, I probably won't. It's still not ideal, but dividers make it much more palatable.

[–] tdawg 12 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Always curious about this: how do you guys feel about talking while washing hands? Acceptable? Not?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago

I think most people just want to get in and get out. No conversation needed.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Don't see why it wouldn't be acceptable. But if you're a stranger then don't talk to me.

[–] tdawg 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Nah I had a coworker who would get weird about it. We shared a small office space with a couple of other coworkers but this guy in particular would always say "no talking in the men's room" if you tried to chat him up while washing/drying your hands. Always thought it was funny he cared that much

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Maybe it was a really chatty office and he just needed a break? I could sympathize with that haha

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Acceptable. We are enemies on the battlefield but as we reenter civilized society we must behave as such.

[–] uis 5 points 11 months ago

Default behaviour

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

What are people's thoughts about the children's size urinal? Never use it if there's another option? Only use it if the other option would place you adjacent to another person? What about if you have a choice between adult and child's urinals next to each other, but using the child's urinal would allow space for another person to optimally avoid neighboring persons?

I feel like this is a variant of the trolley problem that's woefully unexplored.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

love it. me and my tall friends can double-decker

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Americans are funny about this. Sure you don't go next to someone if there is space but you wouldn't not use one.

I was talking a piss in a bar in America and cracked up a conversation with the guy next to me and realised he found it very unusual. I said (at the sinks) that doesn't happen here much does it? He goes no does it happen back home? I was like yea sure if you're drunk. Americans seem too worried if you're gay but who doesn't love a bit of straight guy on straight guy homoeroticism every now and then (not that pissing next to someone is).

Also trough is the best when there is a fuckload of people like at a stadium otherwise it takes for ever. The guys that use the cubical for a piss and hold everyone up are wankers. Though I once called a guy out on it at work and he said "I don't know what it is! I just can't pee around people! I've tried, it's not like I'm embarrassed. I'll show you my ddick if you want, I don't care I just can't pee next to someone." I almost pissed over myself I was laughing so much.

[–] Raiderkev 9 points 11 months ago

I used to get piss shy at troughs, but I can tell you exactly why. 6 or 7 year old me was using one probably for the 1st time, and some cunt decided to say "quit looking at my dick kid!" I fuckin wasn't, but when your head is at dick height, like maybe it would appear that way. I was focused on my own dick n trying to piss, and then couldn't . Thanks to that fuck, for ~ the next 12 years of my life I was not able to squeeze a drop at a trough unless I had the corner, or ample space. Had a complex for years over it. Eventually, alcohol would solve that problem... If I'm drunk, I can piss fuckin anywhere. Now it doesn't really bother me anymore, but fuck that guy. I'm, definitely glad troughs have mostly gone the way of the dodo because of said complex, but at times when I'm at sporting events, I wouldn't mind if they still had them because men's rooms never had lines before.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

My new favourite is people talking on the phone while letting off absolute bomb in public washroom stalls, some even on speaker phone.

My second are those that come in playing their music on phone speaker for all of us to hear their jams.

Not sure if this is better than those that do it on a nature trails but all groups should be forced to have music speaker phone battles while bears and wolves eat them all...

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (3 children)

This is an American thing, right? what the hell are those? i.e. context plz

[–] KnightontheSun 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Men typically do not want to urinate right next to another. The proper format is every other urinal. Men want that extra space for their own shenanigans.

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