this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2024
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Showerthoughts

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My wife does this all the time, and if I don't check before I spritz I get an unexpected ball splash.

NSFW for potential topic sensitivity I guess.

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[–] teft 56 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Why are you hot linking some google images bidet instead of just uploading the image to the post?

[–] [email protected] 40 points 10 months ago (1 children)

alternatively: why are you linking to an image at all and not just making a text post

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Answering both: dial image for reference to what the "modes" are, and my dial is gross. Plus that was the best image I could find describing it, but had trouble getting a clean download. Google images can suck that way. If you get me a clean link, I'd update the post.

[–] teft 21 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Just right click on an image and choose open image in new tab. 99.99% of the time you'll get a plain image. Sometimes you'll have to trim the URL if the site adds properties to the image.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (4 children)

There is no valid reason for the toilet seat to ever be up when you enter the bathroom.

You close the lid before you flush, that's why it exists.

edit: added "valid"

[–] derf82 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

But I like seeing my turds circle the drain

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I don't like it, but watching the flush can save a whole lot of pain. Clogs suck.

[–] TallonMetroid 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Flushing isn't exactly silent, though? The toilet getting clogged should make a very noticeably different sound.

[–] Carighan 8 points 10 months ago

This might be different in mostly wooden homes like in the US, but here with stone homes the majority of the noise of flushing comes from the actual water rushing into the bowl plus the tank beginning to refill. The actual drainage causes virtually no noise.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Laziness is a reason

[–] hikaru755 3 points 10 months ago

But after flushing I still need to check if I need to use the toilet brush

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Leaving the toilet seat up is moot because the lid should be closed when flushing

[–] Carighan 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I thought the results of later tests was that it doesn't actually make a difference, fecal and urine particles are found on all near surfaces either way?

[–] AA5B 8 points 10 months ago

If you’re referring to the Mythbusters attempt, I think all they proved was that fecal bacteria was everywhere. That’s not the same as saying spewing forth another cloud doesn’t make a difference

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[–] Sanctus 22 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

I need to join you elves with a bidet. Idk why I'm still living in Mordor.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Same. I think part of me worries it's all I'd ever want to do.

[–] glitch1985 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Just get the ones that aren't heated and it'll discourage you from using it too much.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

You learn to enjoy the cold, too. Also, it can be one hell of a way to wake up too.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Saruman had the only bidet in mordor

[–] andros_rex 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Is the “feminine” mode hygienic? I’d worry about it pushing bacteria and crap up there.

[–] marshadow 26 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

According to my urogynecologist, who specifically instructed me to always point my shower wand downward when washing my nethers, spraying water can indeed push bacteria up there!

It may only be dangerous for the subset of women who have problems requiring a urogynecology specialist in the first place, IDK, but better safe than sorry.

[–] Zerlyna 15 points 10 months ago (2 children)

There’s a feminine mode? Aren’t assholes all in the same spot?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Assholes are, but that's not what it's for

[–] AdamEatsAss 19 points 10 months ago

Sometimes a spritz to the gooch is just what I need to remember it takes 2 to tango.

[–] flicker 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yes but women have a pee hole between their labia and if you don't rinse that then what even are you doing? I'm not interested in walking around with pee-stained lady parts, thanks.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Piss-flaps.

They're called piss-flaps.

[–] flicker 3 points 10 months ago

Only if there's piss on them. Which there shouldn't be.

[–] Poem_for_your_sprog 14 points 10 months ago

You don't want your balls washed?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Do I need to upgrade my bidet? Ours is one dial for cleaning mode which rotates/plugs the sprayer, and one dial for spray, which is just connected to the valve.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

You actually have to switch modes? Mine just has a lever that goes either forwards or backwards depending on which nozzle you want to use.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

That lever is how you're switching modes

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[–] recapitated 5 points 10 months ago

Sounds like someone has never gotten up to sit inside of an open toilet when it was dark.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Just another reason the bum gun is the best choice.

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