this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2023
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like you know you’re a good person at heart but life circumstances and trauma and bullying and etc prevented you from learning the proper social skills to find companionship. not necessarily a forum to actually find friends (i find going into things with that intention feels fake and weird), but rather a forum to commiserate and share advice and coping mechanisms and so on.

loneliness is increasing worldwide, esp in men. and it's very easy to get into the weeds on this of course...

happy fuckin holidays

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Not sure if it’s specifically what you’re looking for, but I’d recommend going on disboard and looking up local discord servers. I’ve joined a couple and met some people I like hanging out with through one. I’ve found that people on local servers tend to be a mix, including other lonely or socially awkward people. One of the servers I’m in literally has a How to Make Friends pinned post for people who might need it. It’s also got an all purpose support thread going that tends to be very positive.

Find a few near you that do meet ups or events, feel the groups out for a bit even just lurking and see if it feels right for you. Maybe go to an event, even if you also feel anxious, and try to meet some of the people you talk to online. Just remember that they might also be lonely people trying to make a connection too.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

It wasn't through Disboard, but this is basically what I did. Moved to a new city, found a community Discord that was mentioned on Reddit, and asked around for interest in a D&D campaign. Now I've got two games going, and am great friends with everyone I play with. TTRPGs are a social skill, but most people are very welcoming of those new to the hobby

[–] Icaria 1 points 10 months ago

One of the servers I’m in literally has a How to Make Friends pinned post for people who might need it.

Out of morbid curiosity, could we see it?

We've got basic conflict resolution tactics written into our rules... not that anyone reads them.

I’ve found that people on local servers tend to be a mix, including other lonely or socially awkward people.

Give it a few more years and you'll realise how much deeper that rabbit hole goes. I'm resigned to the fact that discord isn't even really a gaming platform any more, let alone a social one; most people seem to be trying to use it for scoring drugs or hookups/affairs. Lots of kink stuff, too - it is following the same path as Second Life did. Also goes well beyond lonely and socially awkward; antisocial nutjobs abound.