this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2023
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I have been with wife almost thirty years. I wish it had occurred to me to ask this so many times before saying something. So many times.
I agree. Having a natural tendency to want to solve a problem makes us want to fix it immediately but sometimes it's not the answer, when they just want to vent or someone to listen.
Until their shawarma falls apart every day and they never get past the feelings stage....
Time for them to head out to pasture
There's only so many times I'm willing to listen and not want to fix it. After about the 10th or or 50th or 100th time I've heard the same problem and I'm always willing to listen, but if you're not willing to take one inch towards fixing it or solving it or dealing with it or moving past it, then I'm going to try the fucking fix it for you.
There’s only so many times you can drop a bag of trash in my living room before I either take it to the dumpster, or tell you to take it home.
Relevant Parks and Recreation
I ask my wife and kids if they need someone to help problem solve or just listen. It's been a game changer.
Because their mood needs fixing
“Is this the feeling stage” to me feels like, “are you ready to here solutions or are you going to keep complaining?”.
The idea is sound but the wording needs work.
There's no ordering to the ways it's worded. It doesn't say "ready for solutions yet?" Or "are you still having feelings".