this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2023
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Bonus points if it's usually misused/misunderstood by the people who say it

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 1 year ago (5 children)

"Everything happens for a reason"

The cancer disagrees.

[–] Sterile_Technique 67 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Or worse: "it's all part of God's plan!" every time something bad happens. "So... God's a sadist, or what? Cuz his plan is shit."

[–] NOT_RICK 26 points 1 year ago

God did ruin Job’s life over a bet with Satan so maybe this is less of a plan and more of a downward spiral gambling addiction

[–] TechyDad 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Or the related one: "I'd like to thank God for coming through this surgery."

What about the doctors, nurses, and various other staff members?

[–] Sterile_Technique 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As a surgical tech, I have to bite my tongue when this pops up. Like... bitch, your god sent you to the OR in the first place - you should be pissed!

[–] AnIntenseMoist 3 points 1 year ago

Hear me out on this: God is creating jobs for the community. If there weren't stupid people around to get hurt, the smart ones wouldn't have anything to do!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I hate this phrase so, so much. Sometimes babies die within days of being born with no chance of getting baptized. Don't people realize that the implication of this is that God is dooming them to purgatory just to spite the parents? Do they not Pealize how fucked up that sounds?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Or he sucks so bad at planning that he can't make people happy without also hurting others.

"But happiness would be meaningless without sadness to compare it to!"

Bitch were you never happy before you learned what cancer was? Did you start enjoying life the moment you figured out what rape is? "Boy I sure am glad I'm not being raped today! Much happier than I would be if I didn't know there was an alternative!"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

or when someone gets the benefit of excellent medical care and thanks God for it. ugh. A lifetime of dedication by the doctors and scientists that brought you this cure? A distant second place.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I actually love this one, because it's technically correct but not in the way people who use it mean, so you can turn it around easily.

Yes, you did get cancer for a reason. Because you insisted on maintaining your suntan every winter. Or perhaps merely because you pissed off the wrong banana.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In my case, it was through no action of my own and merely bad luck. So the only "reason" would be bad luck or a shitty all-powerful deity.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's the malicious banana. Everything happens for a reason, but that doesn't mean it's reasonable

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Hmmmm I do love to eat bananas 🤔 BRB, off to sue Chiquita

[–] ElPussyKangaroo 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I mean, technically it did happen for a reason. Your body hates you.

Also, my sympathies for your condition.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

To be fair I've been abusing with alcohol since my late teens. So I guess we're even now.

[–] ElPussyKangaroo 1 points 1 year ago

SUCK ON THAT CANCER!

[–] GladiusB 9 points 1 year ago

Children starving to death

[–] NOT_RICK 2 points 1 year ago

I usually answer “if you say so”