this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 145 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I'm guessing this is riffing on Vance's visit to a doughnut shop, where to the complete indifference of the employees, he ended up asking for 'whatever makes sense'. It looks like he said the same to a barber, who - not knowing what he was on about - gave him that terrible haircut.

[–] PunnyName 94 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

The man can't even get fucking donuts. Like WTF, go in with a plan and get the fuck out!

[–] Garbanzo 81 points 3 months ago (8 children)

I can walk into any donut shop and I already know what I want. If you can't do that I suspect you're some kind of foreign agent who isn't familiar with what you might find in a donut shop.

BTW, it's apple fritters, and I'll have three, thanks.

[–] ganksy 41 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yes, three of your best glazy, sprinkled ones frau shopkeep.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That three finger thing is bullshit. In UK/Germany, people do whatever not some rote thing

[–] shalafi 8 points 3 months ago (2 children)

In 1942? Not fair to compare modern habits with an isolated per-internet world.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

perhaps even moreso. the variations in dialects when going from village to another can be huge. I would guess that countries homogenized later than WW2

[–] uienia 2 points 3 months ago

It was also bs in the 40s

[–] NielsBohron 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

To my eternal dismay, all the donut shops in my town stopped making buttermilk bars, so I have to go in with a "stretch" donut and have a safety donut (old-fashioned glazed) as my most likely order.

[–] Zron 4 points 3 months ago

My favorite bakery stopped making their bear claws.

It was a cinnamon roll with home made maple frosting.

Now I don’t go there, nothing is the same without my claws.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The hell is a buttermilk bar? I am intrigued 👀

[–] NielsBohron 5 points 3 months ago

It's like an old-fashioned (usually glazed) more in a bar shape than a traditional donut shape. I would assume that they have buttermilk in the recipe, but I don't don't really know the specifics other than than they have a bit more of a "sour cream" tang than a regular old-fashioned.

[–] Protoknuckles 10 points 3 months ago

Nah bro, I want to be delighted. What is your specialty. What's the best thing you make? Got anything weird? If it's just standard fare or a chain place, I let the Whims of Fate guide my hand.

[–] TheDoozer 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If you got'em, I'll take a Bismarck (or Boston Creme, whatever you want to call them, the chocolate covered cream filled one). If not, maybe you're the type of donut shop that also has cinnamon rolls? No?

Just a coffee, then, please.

[–] PunnyName 3 points 3 months ago

That place is just a building made to increase sadness.

[–] shalafi 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] ganksy 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Exactly what came to mind. Didn't see your comment before mine.

[–] shalafi 1 points 3 months ago

LOL, you found a far better picture than I was going to post.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA 5 points 3 months ago

mine makes the best pink with rainbow sprinkles. they're raspberry.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Tractor wheel for me thank you

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Haha, yes, apple fritters are the best, but the place by me makes them so big I only have to order the one.

[–] Garbanzo 1 points 3 months ago

My shop makes big ones and little ones, but the big ones are always sold out by the time I drag my ass over there

[–] bcgm3 19 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Or in lieu of a plan, just pick out a donut that looks good to you. How out-of-touch must one be, to be incapable of even pretending to enjoy sugary fried bread?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Getting a dozen glazed and a dozen assorted is pretty typical for a doughnut order. No one wants to wait for the person at the counter to lost of a dozen different doughnuts.

[–] PunnyName 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Yeah, but he didn't even have that ready to go. If that's what you're getting, you should know it before you walk thru the door. He seemed to be making it up on the spot.

And if you got a list, good, I'd rather know you know what you want, rather than awkwardly trying to make small talk while failing at the simple task of donut ordering (all for some nonsense PR campaign).

[–] mipadaitu 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Agreed, but I find that most donut shops either have fantastic glazed and their assorted is bad, or vice versa.

Much prefer one or the other.

But also... Just buy a round of donuts for everyone standing in line would be the best bet for making a good impression (out of his own pocket, not from the campaign funds)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Yeah, dude has no idea how to interact with normal people, but i am just saying that i hate orderin specific doughnuts for a variety pack and always defer to the shop on that.

[–] Sam_Bass 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

In case you forgot, trump doesnt hire anyone with a brain. The few that snuck in last time didnt stick around for the firework show

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

My headcanon is that they picked Vance because his name sounds like Pence and that made it easier for Trump to remember

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

He's in deep with the Project 2025 folks. He's there to make sure everything goes according to plan.

[–] Snapz 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Glytch 11 points 3 months ago

"Give me your most normal human food order."

[–] rayyy 10 points 3 months ago

Totally not weird, right?

[–] Garbanzo 10 points 3 months ago

JD: I saw some dudes on TikTok that were showing off amazing advances in toupee technology

Barber: I got you fam