this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Mr_Blott 173 points 1 year ago (9 children)

Tried eating a piano once but it tasted a bit sharp

[–] KingGordon 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Me too. The flavor left me flat.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Piano sommelier’s recommend tasting upright, with proper posture, to sustain the best notes of ivory, maple, mahogany, and rosewood. Cracking the lid before dining is crucial, and the only way to truly hammer home some of the more subtle dissonance between flavours.

Edit: If you find your piano is a bit too “stringy”, you may have to cook it longer. Young, over-confident, plucky chef’s often make this mistake.

Edit 2: over-cooking can also dampen the flavour, fyi.

Edit 3: one last thing, if the staff haven’t let piano rest, you’ll also want to pedal back your expectations, better to just hit up any other bar and maybe try a classical italian coda.

Edit 4: sorry, typo… soda.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

You son of a bitch… /s

[–] 4am 15 points 1 year ago

Remember to use the tuning fork, not the salad fork.

[–] FiskFisk33 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] banksymimosa 13 points 1 year ago

"Lotito holds the record for the 'strangest diet' in the Guinness Book of Records. He was awarded a brass plaque by the publishers to commemorate his abilities. He ate his award."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

List of unusual items consumed

At least:[3][8][12]

  • 45 door hinges

  • 18 bicycles

  • 15 shopping carts

  • 7 TV sets

  • 6 chandeliers

  • 2 beds

  • 1 pair of skis

  • 1 computer

  • 1 Cessna 150 light aircraft

  • 1 waterbed (full of water)

  • 500 metres (1,600 ft) of steel chain at once

  • 1 coffin (with handles)

  • 1 Guinness award plaque

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom 4 points 1 year ago

"Monsieur Mouth" Nice.

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[–] DanglingFury 53 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nothing ethical about it. It asks for things you "can" eat, not things that you "would" eat. Luckily there are no pictures of people.

[–] CaptainApathetic 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You can eat a piano, just have to do it a small piece at a time.

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[–] twelvefloatinghands 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"can" is only a matter of attitude and determination

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everything is edible once!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Oh yeah? Can you eat a star or the concept of love or your own entire head?

[–] twelvefloatinghands 5 points 1 year ago

Not with that attitude!

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[–] LimitedWard 28 points 1 year ago

Love me some Panda Express

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We're getting closer and closer to "You're in a desert, walking along when you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and flip it over on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over. But it can't. Not with out your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?"

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[–] nei7jc 23 points 1 year ago

It says "can", not "should"

[–] iRyu 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This legitimately told me I was wrong after I clicked all the burgers

[–] archonet 9 points 1 year ago

It knows the true nutritional value found in your average baby grand piano.

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[–] Guster 21 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Had it ask me to pick animals - and there were pictures of chicken wings in there lol

[–] Wild_Mastic 15 points 1 year ago

I mean it was an animal once

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[–] Qwazpoi 19 points 1 year ago

Missed opportunity for joke about eating pussy, although that term is probably what would cause the algorithm to do this to begin with

[–] Lem_Lemoncloak 14 points 1 year ago

I got this prompt recently and it accepted my answer when I included the panda.

[–] Bushwhack 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So everything but the piano. Even then, it’s more of a “don’t tell me what I can’t do” type attitude.

[–] FiskFisk33 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Bushwhack 6 points 1 year ago

That was a wild Wikipedia. I laughed when I saw he ate his own award plaque.

[–] eodur 10 points 1 year ago

This gets considerably more confusing after watching a few episodes of "Is It Cake?"

[–] jennraeross 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Even more of a dilemma if you’re veggie

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Panda Express.

Now with real Panda.

[–] kemsat 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

YeH fair. I could eat a cat or panda, depending on how desperate I am.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I'm eyeing up that piano. A little worcestershire sauce on the keys... mmm now I'm hungry!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I just had the same fucking one and that's what I thought.

[–] MrMusAddict 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Are those all AI generated images? They seem wonky.

Gee, imagine if we trained our upcoming AI overlords that you can eat pianos and pandas, but not hamburgers, lol.

[–] reverie 7 points 1 year ago

It might backfire. They could end up feeding us piano key/panda nutrient blends in our cages once they enslave us all.

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[–] BarbudoGrande 4 points 1 year ago

"Amanda? Come on, dude. I mean, that's probably not even her real name."

[–] Ragincloo 4 points 1 year ago

According to some there are two vegan options there

[–] Severopol 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I had one of these earlier today which included a horse. Due to the horse meat scandal in the UK I have most likely unwittingly eaten many horses.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

apex predator intensifies

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Just eat your phone

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