this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2023
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Memes

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[–] Gigan 144 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] ragormack 36 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Haven't they killed an alarming amount if animals trying to get this thing to work?

[–] PM_Your_Nudes_Please 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes. Many of the chimps in the animal trials died horribly excruciating deaths, and Neuralink tried to bury the studies.

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[–] Roflmasterbigpimp 108 points 1 year ago (3 children)

What. I still rember the article about the Monkeys Musk butchered with his Microchips! This was terrifying and disgusting and now he is allowed to do this to humans?! WTF.

[–] Viking_Hippie 67 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Regulatory capture at work. If you're the second-richest man in the world and a darling of the far right to boot, they'll let you do pretty much whatever you want.

[–] Roflmasterbigpimp 17 points 1 year ago (7 children)
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[–] hakunawazo 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything.
Grab them by the brain. You can do anything.

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[–] [email protected] 99 points 1 year ago (11 children)

All I’m seeing is ads streamed directly to the brain with no way but one to stop it, assuming that instinct doesn’t get neurologically suppressed.

[–] pelerinli 56 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why put an ad while they can directly manipulate your hormones/enzymes?

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You’re just gonna give them ideas like that?!

Ah fuck. You didn’t tell them anything they didn’t already consider. Fuck, I’m slow.

[–] TheBat 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fuck, I’m slow.

You should drink Monster™ Super Ultra!

[–] DefyTheLegends 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Chug that verification can!

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[–] FlyingSquid 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Neuralink Premium halves the number of ads in your dreams for only $8 a month!"

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[–] nepenthes 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Futurama Season 1: Episode 6. Fry gets ads in dreams.

Futurama Splash Screen with: Any Resemblance to Actual Future is Purely Coincidental.

Futurama Splash Screen with: "Any Resemblance to Actual Future is Purely Coincidental" written as gag.

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Get ready for mental health DLC patches or micro transactions.

[–] OneOrTheOtherDontAskMe 40 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie 35 points 1 year ago

"Your subscription to arm control has expired. Please wiggle your eyebrows in a lewdly suggestive manner to pay subscription fee plus $69 lateness surcharge and a $420 because we can addendum"

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[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Unskippable ads directly to your brainhole

[–] Anticorp 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Holes in the brain are something intelligent people generally try to avoid.

[–] Viking_Hippie 17 points 1 year ago (4 children)

True, which is one of the many reasons why intelligent people will generally try to avoid having The Monkey Killer installed in their brains.

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[–] gedaliyah 56 points 1 year ago (5 children)

It's no longer a conspiracy theory. It's a conspiracy fact.

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[–] FlyingSquid 51 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Interesting, isn't it, that Elon hasn't even suggested he would be getting a Neuralink chip in his brain...

[–] kameecoding 26 points 1 year ago (2 children)

He will probably want to use it, once it was tested on expendable poor people.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (6 children)

The difference is that it's consensual, you libtard.

Now try not to think about those monkeys we're testing the product on and whether it was consensual for them.

^/s^ ^if^ ^it^ ^wasn't^ ^obvious^

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Just because you have someone's consent, doesn't make whatever you do to them legal.

For example, you can sign a contract to allow me to bludgeon you to death, but it's still murder regardless of your consent.

Frankly, Elon has killed enough animals in this endeavor that it's unconscionable to allow him to test it on people. It's only going to end poorly.

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[–] linearchaos 37 points 1 year ago (10 children)

When the conspiracy theory said Gates was doing it, it was the end of days.

Now that musk is doing it, it'll be sliced bread 2.0.

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[–] paddirn 36 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Ahh, you can trust the guy who single-hand-idly drove twitter into the ground and pushed a shit sheet metal meme car. He doesn’t know anything about anything, but you can trust him with brain surgery.

Really though, anyone that thinks this is a good idea and signs up for testing probably deserves the lobotomy they’re going to end up with.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Man, I don't know what right wingers y'all are talking about.

I come from a super right wing family and all them MFs think this is a bad idea too (though to be fair, they're def on the conspiracy theory "everything is to get a microchip in my blood/brain" side of things).

[–] SkyezOpen 47 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Well someone is gargling elons cock, and it's not lefties. So you figure out the math and that's who they're talking about.

[–] ClaireDeLuna 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] SkyezOpen 53 points 1 year ago (43 children)

Is a centrist anyone who says "I'm not into politics but (right wing propaganda)" because that's unironically been my experience so far.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I come from a super-right wing family too (but from Europe) and they really are in love Elon because it's like "a dog being out of control" in the billionaire group, the one who is brave enough to go against the rules, defying the "cancel culture" and the unidirectional thinking imposed by political correctness.

[–] jose1324 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just vomited a bit in my mouth

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Obviously I don't approve of any of it, let it be clear... Lemmy for me is a sort of "therapy group" where I find relief from that toxic environment.

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[–] Slagathor 32 points 1 year ago (4 children)

There's no way the FDA approved that shit.

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[–] menemen 27 points 1 year ago

Finally cyberpunk begins. We need more neon lights, but thanks to LEDs I am looking positively towards our future.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Probably already been hacked. We just haven't heard about it yet.

[–] meliaesc 21 points 1 year ago

No need to hack when the fatality rate in primates is already so high.

[–] ilinamorato 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I remember reading an article just a few weeks ago about a company that made a combination prosthetic/implant for blind people to be able to see in the...early 2000s, I think? It was an early technology, low-rez, but somewhat miraculous for some.

And then the company went out of business.

As the implants began to wear out, or the software developed bugs, or the patients' needs changed, things fell apart. They lost their vision and nobody could help them because the hardware and software were proprietary.

Now Elon Musk—with his reputation for quality control and following through with ideas and open source—wants to put things in our brains. Backed by the full faith and credit of Elon Musk.

One day he's going to push down an update that makes everybody with a Neuralink stop and say "hehe butts" in a funny voice, and the tech bros will say "lol great meme Elon" even though a dozen of them got hit by a car because they were forced to stop while they walked across the street, and thirty of them lost their jobs because they said "hehe butts" to their managers, and one of them was a soldier who said "hehe butts" in an active warzone and blew the whole squad's cover.

I can't believe anyone is honestly entertaining this.

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[–] TheJims 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In other news Musk opens pizzeria in Washington DC

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