this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 26 comments
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[–] [email protected] 49 points 11 months ago

“My how you’ve grown!”

“I’m onto you, grandma.”

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago

keeping her in a cardboard box is probably the right move

[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Eh, I'll take it at this point...

[–] tourist 59 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'll happily take a state appointed surveillance gf

"He's got a bunch of ebooks for improvised munitions and amphetamine synthesis, but he's way too fucking stupid and lazy to do anything with it. Please dear god can you take me off this assignment"

[–] Rolando 22 points 11 months ago

""Oh God he's looking at memes again..."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Me, training in counterintelligence my entire life just in case I ever get a date:

[–] Pregnenolone 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

How dare she come in to my box????

[–] citrusface 4 points 11 months ago

Mail order bride

[–] PP_BOY_ 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

This is the truth.

Only have sex with men if you want to be an independent, free citizen

[–] captainlezbian 16 points 11 months ago

My girlfriend will be pissed you called her a statist

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

Damn, even the state doesn't want me

[–] Plantfoodclock 12 points 11 months ago

"I don't care who the IRS sends, I'M NOT PAYING TAXES"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

But what's the green thing in her mouth, the frog driving the android?

[–] RIP_Cheems 3 points 11 months ago

It's a lizard person, break up or run, NOW

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (4 children)
[–] The_Ferry 15 points 11 months ago

Gaseous I think though solid doesn't seem like too long of a stretch

[–] Gruntyfish 11 points 11 months ago
[–] Blue_Morpho 8 points 11 months ago

State of indifference

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

We can not confirm or deny this allegation at the moment.

[–] CertifiedBlackGuy 4 points 11 months ago

A team has been dispatched to their location.

[–] ChrislyBear 5 points 11 months ago

If a woman showed interest (lolol), I'd unironically be inclined to ask her who she works for...

There's no hope for me anymore.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

This, but unironically.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I knew it that's why I only like men

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Exterminate all rational thought. That is the conclusion I have come to.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

And often these women look like Mrs. Puff...