this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 116 points 1 year ago (3 children)

And encryption is when you fondle a holographic semi-transparent ball with your fingers.

[–] milkjug 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That’s not the kind of ball-fondling I had in mind.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fellas, is it gay to decrypt?

[–] milkjug 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Rolando 14 points 1 year ago

What if they byte?

[–] BurnoutDV 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's kinda how hacking in half life alyx works, the vr game, it feels a lot better than the ol' lockpicking in pancake games

[–] kite 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

pancake games

I've never heard of non-vr games referred to as this before. It's clever!

Somewhat relatedly, I also learned just yesterday that some flat tumors are called pancake tumors. I didn't really enjoy learning that one, though. :(

[–] hellishharlot 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

This encryption is so strong, not even the inventor can crack it!

[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 year ago (4 children)

There is a long abandoned (but it still runs) project called eDEX-UI (https://github.com/GitSquared/edex-ui) which basically provides a working, useable terminal surrounded by all sorts of the crap visual appearance of hacker terminals in the movies. Pair that with a terminal editor and you've almost got a movie IDE!

It's kinda fun for a while although I'd be amazed if anyone actually used it as their main terminal emulator program. But you could.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I could see it being a real thing. When you're making a game it gives you visualization for animations (both physics and visual-only) and shaders (maybe even a simplified stylized version). Random benchmark results/debug info. Drawing attention to syntax mistakes. An important email or video call pops up.

It would be cool and potentially useful, but completely un-asked for and likely distracting and a waste of space. Basically what if your computer was a non-cartoon clippy.

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[–] Selmafudd 61 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The bottom is also on a transparent screen

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (9 children)

Can you imagine the eye strain one would get programming on a translucent screen every day? One where your always having to keep your eyes focused on semi transparent text and graphical interfaces in the foreground, and not the distracting and ever changing background, continuously shifting in parallax as you adjust your head and viewing angle. Not having my display buttressed up against a wall, or having to deal with glare and screen reflections, or even low contrast monitors in general are all things I find infuriating already.

But I guess the Sci-Fi future of ergonomics is holograms. *You must have your migraines, and you must enjoy them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Speaking of eye strain, there's the hilarious related trope that every helmet in a movie shines bright light into the face of the helmet's wearer.

It's pretty obvious why they do it: they want the faces of the actors to be visible. But, I can't help but imagine how stupid it would be to have a light shining in the eyes of an astronaut when they work on something in the darkness of space.

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And every little thing on the screen makes a noise.

[–] greendakota99 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’m surprised more people do not talk about this. Its easily the most annoying trope for me. Could you imagine hearing your machine beep through processing for 8-10 hours at a time each day? Its asinine to even consider anyone in these technology roles would deal with that.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think this is because it is pretty boring to film a computer in action, because it does noting - it doesn't move for example. So beeping sounds were added for every action a computer would do: opening or closing windows, transferring files to a disk, calculating,...

These sounds were added at a time computers were not that common in every household and to emphazise that the computer is doing something. In recent movies, computers are more silent.

Another thing film makers did to show interaction with a computer is the constant usage of the keyboard. Every thing is done with the keyboard. Open a window: type 5 sceonds on the keyboard. Transferring a file onto a disk: type the whole bible on the keyboard. This was done because it would be pretty boring to show someone use the mouse or drag-and-drop files.

It its somehow compareable to the movie trope of constantly reloading a gun. You can see this often in older movies: the protagonist is going inside a building and he is reloading his gun. Then he stops a the corner of a hallway and is reloading the gun again - despite no shot has been fired. This was also done to show the audience that a gun will be involved.

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[–] droans 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't forget. If you have a server and it's been penetrated, there needs to be a monitor which displays "SERVER HACKED" in giant, red, blinking text.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Man, imagine how useful that would actually be though? You'd save a lot of money and headache a few months down the line...

[–] xantoxis 55 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ugh I keep getting memory bounds errors, time to fire up the dodecahedron

[–] stoicmaverick 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just don't look directly at it for too long or it'll cause a buffer overflow in your brain and you'll start yelling out your private keys instead of saying words.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Was THAT what was on this USB stick the crazy dude at the bar sold me..? Things make so much more .... HAIL ENKI, GOD OF -----BEGIN RSA PRIVATE KEY----- Proc-Type: 4,ENCRYPTED DEK-Info: AES-128-CBC,6784434422A3B98781F157CFCEA6FA3D

ks8A38SJahkdh339AKShdhaAks9aj3SJfooPazz91JS8S9Sanshriz....

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago (1 children)
sudo apt install hollywood
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

It's also on the AUR. Hilarious package. Would be fun to somehow turn into a screensaver

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is why I loved Mr Robot

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[–] weird_nugget 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So you're saying you program without a translucent mini map showing your location or whatever? Shame on you.

[–] Aceticon 7 points 1 year ago

I have solved the problem of knowing were I am all the time by buying a mirror.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago

I've felt this way about twice in my life, and it's when I had a really well crafted Jupyter notebook running in VSCode.

It's definitely the kind of thing you want to pop open when boss is showing some new sponsors/customers around.

[–] doppelgangmember 21 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Dammit I overworked the flux capacitor again!

Oh well, time to turn it off and on again.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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[–] kamen 20 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Sometimes I think the ideas of the creators of movies and TV series like this is to try to see what's the most absurd and out of place thing they can push without anyone not in IT noticing. Moreover oftentimes the primary thing is entertainment, not factual accuracy.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Until you watch mr robot and everything typed on screen is accurate to the plot/hack

[–] wholeofthemoon 6 points 1 year ago

Yeah that was really cool. And they did it so well that non-IT people still enjoy watching it.

[–] stoicmaverick 12 points 1 year ago

There is an answer to the question that you are not asking, and it's the scene from NCIS where TWO people are furiously typing on ONE keyboard so that they can "hack faster"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Apparently, it is a thing on at least one show. NCIS once showed two people using the same keyboard at the same time.

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[–] TheWorstNL 5 points 1 year ago

The primary thing is entertainment. They have to make something that is entertaining to watch. For example even explosions are exaggerated. In movies they contain much more fire than they usually contain.

[–] remotelove 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've been playing around with Grafana alot lately so my screens do look closer to the second. Except not such a disordered jumble so it doesn't have any where near the same wow factor

[–] GatoB 12 points 1 year ago

Screenshot?

[–] quadropiss 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I thought this was about sound engineers and producers because the bottom image is a reality for them lmfao

[–] amanaftermidnight 7 points 1 year ago

the 80s hacking equivalent of Subway Surfer clips

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Me when I'm in a 5 hour long sagemath session to get the perfect visualization of a problem I have long solved.

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