Programmer Humor

Oh, I'm calling it now. This one is going to be used as an attack of trans people. Throw out the archaic and manual process of updating names in federal databases, and keep it simple by making the records immutable. Then hit them with a lovely

"You MUST use your REAL NAME (MAIDEN NAME) on government forms. If the name does not match, you will be denied."

Elon is basically what a dumb kid thinks smart people sound like

DROP TABLE Musk

Everything uses SQL. The world fucking runs on SQL

(yes I know SQL isn't something that you can "run" something on yadda yadda...)

You know, the thing that always seemed really scary about the OG Nazis is that they were competent, intelligent, put-together people that were just fucking evil. Then you look at the US Nazis and the fucking bozo density is off the charts, but they seem to be succeeding anyway.

Three possibilities come to mind:

• These bozos are going to find out, hard and soon.
• The OG Nazis were actually bozos too.
• Competence and intelligence doesn't actually matter in running a fascist regime

Isn’t Oracle a big government supplier with millions if not billions worth of contracts?

Elon is a fraud but for someone who claims he created one of the Web’s first e-commerce sites this level of ignorance is embarrassing

I'm sure folks on here know this, but you know, there's also that 10K a day that don't so...

What makes this especially funny, to me, is that SSN is the literal text book example (when I was in school anyway) of a "natural" key that you absolutely should never use as a primary key. It is often the representative example of the kinds of data that seems like it'd make a good key but will absolutely fuck you over if you do.

SSN is not unique to a person. ~~They get reused after death, and a person can have more than one in their lifetime (if your id is stolen and you arduously go about getting a new one).~~ Edit: (See responses) It seems I'm misinformed about SSNs, apologies. I have heard from numerous sources that they are not unique to a person, but the specifics of how it happens are unknown to me.

And they're protected information due to all the financials that rely on them, so you don't really want to store them at all (unless you're the SSA, who would have guessed that'd ever come up though!?)

It's so stupid that it would be hilarious if people weren't dying.

All government data is processed using sed.

That's weird, I thought I used SQL databases from government agencies regularly. Guess I was mistaken.

Elon’s shock and fury about the database key sounds like he got a report from an out-of-breath 20 year old DOGE kid who thinks they’re hot shit and discovered some massive flaw.

Elon also seems like the kind of person that believes a database schema is all that’s needed to govern a population.

“Your tax dollars are being stolen”

Rare moment of clarity from our global barony.

Elon starting to comment on technical matters was the moment I learned he was actually completely beyond incompetent, since I have some actual expertise on the subject. Right around the time he bought Twitter and commented publicly on its architecture.

This is further evidence to that point

As someone who has literally helped the government use SQL for over a decade, this is huge news.