this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2025
710 points (97.8% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

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[–] TheBat 192 points 5 days ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 103 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You know, I actually believe this one.

Totally gay though.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Anon has a boy friend.

Maybe he is willing to share him. Maybe not.

[–] SkunkWorkz 17 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Sharing a boyfriend with your sister is incest by proxy

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago

What if he showers in between?

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 days ago

Right?

Came here to say fake and gay but damn, that last line changes everything

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago

Fake: anon doesn't have a sister

Gay: getting drunk with a dude and getting his number

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Nah. You can’t feed people to alligators in RDR2 they only attack you. Definitely fake.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

WHAT

I watched a vid where someone tried to feed someone to a gator for a while and it just wouldn’t eat them?! I wonder if this was patched in? Cuz that’s awesome!

[–] Tylerdurdon 141 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] ODuffer 31 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] SmackemWittadic 32 points 5 days ago

"unwed nightmare"

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 days ago

Next? Uh, fuck him, obviously.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] TrueStoryBob 12 points 4 days ago

Sounds like they have a lot in common... it's a nice meet cute.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 days ago

I used to torture my sister's boyfriends for a laugh but one day I befriended one and realised that this was the greatest troll of all time.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Isn't there more to this one? Why is it cut off

[–] [email protected] 97 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 48 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

I don't know what to do next

next greentext will be about him trying to fuck his sister.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 days ago

It's only considerate.

[–] Alexstarfire 5 points 5 days ago

I thought that's what was going to happen in this one.

[–] Maggoty 18 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Can we stop sex shaming people?

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[–] ne0n 17 points 4 days ago (2 children)

“whore talk” fucking cringe you’re the one at home not getting laid

[–] 11111one11111 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Lol stfu theyre siblings. If you aren't embarrassing or shaming your siblings you aren't doing it right.

[–] ne0n 3 points 3 days ago

you regularly call the women in your family whores, then?

[–] OmegaCloud 2 points 3 days ago

It's not nice to speak that way about your brother and his new friend, you know?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 days ago

fake: anon lives with a woman

and gay: anon makes up stories of stealing sister's dates to have fun with them

[–] latenightnoir 45 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

Easy, you start hanging out, gather a crew of like-minded cowpokes, set yourselves up with a Posse, and LAN Party your collective way to Legendary status!

As a side note, RDR2 deserves a 'GTA VI' more than GTA does, such an underappreciated game (and social commentary!)

[–] PieMePlenty 35 points 5 days ago (10 children)

Im not sure if you are joking right now but RDR2 IS the ‘GTA VI’ to RDR1, a game well deserved of its sequel. Underappreciated? Are you mad?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (2 children)

....is my math fucked up or are two and six the same thing these days? Seems they'd need a few more before they get to "VI."

[–] Alexstarfire 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Ohh no. This guy doesn't know about the new math. Should we tell him?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

Im so confused 😭😭

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

"incounter"

[–] 2ugly2live 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)

"Sister does the usual whore talk of taking a shower and going to bed."

Apparently, I too am a whore. 😂

[–] nl4real 8 points 4 days ago

Probably the only context where anon hears about showering.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

OP lost me at that "whore talk" bullshit

[–] Psythik 14 points 4 days ago (2 children)

It's 4chan; the fuck did you expect?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 days ago

It's always amazing seeing people react to the 4channiest of 4chan shit with outrage like it's new, why are you even reading greentexts then?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

There is a vast and complex story sbout how we got to where we are today with social and political events, especially in the US.

This comment sums them up so swiftly it's almost art.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Man I want what you're smoking

[–] M137 3 points 3 days ago

Anon has learning disabilities, can't even write basic sentences without fucking up both grammar and spelling. Anon is dumb as fuck.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 days ago

this guy just hasn't figured out he's jesus

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago

Anon has a special stepbrother.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago

Invite the guy round, obv.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago

Answer is simple. Invite him to come over some Saturday. Go find something else to do when he arrives. He can go take your sister out on a date and they can hook up. Then you get back and play RDR with him. Everybody wins :-)

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