"Stop caring about what a man is and just be a decent human being."
this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025
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Stop caring about what's "manly" and what isn't, and start caring about being a good person and doing the right thing.
If you're a man and you're doing it, by default, it is manly. Caring for your kids? Manly. Crying? Manly. Kissing the homies goodnight? Manly.
I don’t think I ever got actual advice from anyone on how to be a man.
I did have an excellent role model in my dad though. He said a lot with his actions. I try to pay that forward with my boys.
A guy in a bar told me, “Son, women control 50% of the money in this county, and 100% of the pussy, so act accordingly.”
Did you assume the gender of everyone with a pussy?
/#agedlikemilk
One thing that I started saying to people after something clicked into place one day when some people would say something about being a 'real man', was '"real men" don't need their masculinity defined by others'.
Boy Scout Law
A Scout is: Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.
None, it was all nonsense that disparaged women. Stupid old jerks.
It was all macho nonsense that did nothing to improve my life. There's no such thing as "manly." Just be yourself, however you are, and you can feel perfectly adequate.
The best advice I've ever gotten had nothing to do with my genitals other than perhaps that an unplanned pregnancy being one of the top things that could change the course of my life, but even that is universal.
Here's an idea: stop thinking that you are inherently any different than a woman.
Attempting to "be a man" inherently dehumanizes women; in my not so humble opinion, the artificial divide between man and woman has caused more harm and destruction to global society than anything else in history.
But I am different to a woman, specifically if there's a violent threat or harm to the family.
I will step in first to handle it, I'm more suited to it. I won't be able to do it the other way around where I take the kids and run while the wife deals with whatever the threat is.
Or a simpler example, if I get attacked, I do not want the wife to step in. However, if she is attacked, I will step in.
Unless we're limiting the discussion to exclude those situations?
No better way to legitimize male violence than to make it in defense of the family. How about trying to build a better society where women and children don't have to be afraid? That wouldn't be any fun though, would it? You just want an excuse to be violent and pretend it makes you a hero, join a bunch of soccer hooligans and leave your family out of it.
It sounds like you have been deeply hurt and I am sorry that happened. I am not the guy who did that to you or someone you care about.
There are good men out there who would die to protect their children from other harms, are not predators and move society forward with a healthy contribution. I am one of those, not the other kind.
In terms of building a better world, that sounds amazing. Until that job is done, it definitely falls to me at a minimum to keep my family safe, because for now the world still has real dangers and predators that can hurt them.
Jfc nobody hurt me. I'm just not going to jump on the glorification of male violence bandwagon on the basis of 'my violence is special and not like the others'. That old man who shot a boy for coming to his door thought he was protecting his family too no doubt.
I think you hate me way too much for nothing, and you don't know me.
If this is how you engage in dialog with someone you don't know at all you will never build a better world like you claim to want.
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