A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
In IT it’s called the scream test. You unplug it and see who screams.
My favorite
I have literally done this. Had a VM I didn’t know who owned in my lab, so I turned it off to see who complained or if it was really unnecessary. 3 min later I get a slack message asking if a VM was running.
This doesn't even have to be The Onion, but just straight news. This is exactly how it is going to work.
I saw some of the dipshit commenters on a WSJ article giving examples of things affected and how their prices might change - lots of "Well, I don't need these things, and paying 5 cents more for making brown people suffer is worth it, anyway!"
Yeah, I guess we will see....
But the twist is that it still won't be portrayed as Trump's fault. Unfair Canada declares war for no reason or whatever.
Americans didn’t chose this.
Americans did choose this.
Either by directly voting for him or looking at the choices and deciding not to participate.
Umm what was all that noise and wind about back in November then?
You mean all the bots and edgelord kids telling everyone not to vote against trump, and instead vote third party? Or did you mean all the bots and edgelord kids that shouted at everyone to stay home in protest?
Because if it wasn’t either of these two- I saw a lot of people urging others to vote for Harris. Otherwise known as the one person that had a chance to defeat trump. All while warning them of what would happen if they didn’t.
And if I recall correctly- those warnings looked a lot like what’s happening right fucking now.
MANY of us didn’t choose this. So don’t blame all of America for this shit. Be precise- blame the asshole single-issue dipshits that protested their way into a trump victory…There’s all still around-
Go on… Be my guest.
Those who voted certainly did. Those who chose to not vote did also. I don't live in America but it was incredibly obvious this was coming. America chose to be represented by by this guy who said quite clearly what he was going to do.
Wait, I voted for Harris, but I chose this?
You may not have chose this but too many around you did. I believe if you’re not okay with what’s happening you have a responsibility to make noise and tell those around you that nonsense like this has to stop.
Apparently we all did. Outside of individually storming the white house and getting shot in the process, turns out all of us might as well have been sitting on our thumbs. I mean really,how exactly were we supposed to counter some of the absolute dumbest people on the planet that might as well have marked a ballot with a crayon?
His owner/donor fElon said as much, too. That we are going to suffer, but it will be worth it (to billionaires, I'm sure, not to the peasants he thinks need to "live within their means").
And everything that's happened so far was clearly spelled out in the project 2025 document. But people don't read and now they're all Pikachu face surprised.
"Surely the leopards won't eat my face!"
only half of them
Less than half in fact. Surprisingly, more than a third of our voting body didn’t vote. And that’s how he won.
If you didn't vote then you chose this.
100% agree.
One third of Americans (non voters) were happy to watch whilst another third (MAGAts) attempts to murder ~~the other third~~ everyone.
Well, that’s only counting the voting collective of Americans. Not the entire population. Sadly, there are a lot of people not of voting age or ineligible to vote that are counted.
Point remains though.
Those who didn't vote don't matters. I don't know why we're supposed to acknowledge their existence in these discussions. In every way that actually matters, Americans chose this.
Soooo…. all of Germany chose Hitler? Of course they didn’t.
I’m an American. I did not chose trump. Let’s stop with the blanket statements.
The statement "Americans chose this" does not mean or imply that all Americans chose this but congrats on being trivially right in a pedantic and irrelevant way. Most voters chose this, and that is the only thing that matters .
I’m an American. I did not chose trump. Let’s stop with the blanket statements.
Yeah I'll definitely keep your delicate feelings at the forefront of my mind as your leaders madness starts destroying my country next week.
Right. And you be sure to keep blaming those that voted for the one person that had the chance to stop him while you’re at it because that’ll sure help a lot towards my keeping your delicate feelings in mind while he’s destroying your country next week.
I tried to stop this shit. I did the right thing. Don’t bring this shit to my doorstep.