this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
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NonCredibleDefense

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[–] [email protected] 111 points 1 week ago (9 children)

I follow the proud American tradition my grandfather had of fighting fascism.

If the government of the states decides to be fascist, well...

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[–] [email protected] 82 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Here me out on this:

  1. Join the war on the US side
  2. Be really bad at your job, causing tons of friendly fire accidents
  3. Defect to Canada before they catch you
  4. Enjoy some well earned pancakes with authentic maple syrup

If you go to Canada right away, there's no way you're getting the maple syrup rations as a foreigner.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Only doing this if I get a moose steak with those pancakes.

Moose aren't like a sacred animal in Canada right?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago

You'll have to fight the Mounties for them:

[–] nepenthes 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Moose are revered and they are to be respected!! They can stomp your face effortlessly.

I believe Aboriginal cultures have many deep ties with the moose. I think some people hunt and eat them, but it's not really a thing on a menu where I am (urban west coast), and is moreso a maritime/Newfoundland menu thing.

Regardless, we build many statues to them: (I have only seen one of these in person [top right, Deer Lake Newfoundland].)

Image transcription: Five moose statues from around Canada. Moose are 2m or ~~8~~ 6.5-7 feet tall (at the shoulder), so these are some bigass sculptures. One, which was a memorial for a man who died of cancer, is now covered in bras for breast cancer awareness/fundraising.

Edit: converting metres to feet is hard to do in my head.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Every so often I see a video of someone trying to mess with a moose, and I can only assume it's because they are suicidal. Unless you have a gun and decent distance, a moose will fuck your shit up.

Re: statues, we have this beautiful bastard in Cow Bay, NS!

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You could definitely do more damage in the US military than fighting against them, and if you're smart, they'd never be able to prove malicious intent.

Drive a forklift into a fighter jet, for example. Millions in damage, and they'll just think you're a moron.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 week ago (9 children)

We burned your White House down once, we'll do it again!

[–] setsneedtofeed 25 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Serious hat for a moment, but the idea that Canadians burnt the White House is a misconception. It was British soldiers from units raised outside of Canada, which had been sent over for the war which did that.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] kreskin 14 points 1 week ago

More than half of the US will literally be throwing flowers at your feet as you march toward the capital to burn it. Its about the only thing both parties agree on. Well, that and taking AIPAC bribes to fund a genocide,both parties are down with that too. And guns now I guess. And closing the border.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Thank you for your future service.

We pay in healthcare and not giving a damn if you smoke up.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago
[–] leadore 38 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Once trump cuts off all government funding from the blue states as he keeps threatening to do, maybe they could join Canada as provinces. It should be win-win considering the blue states contribute more to the federal govt. than they receive from it; while red states receive more than they contribute. So they would make Canada stronger and Trumpistan weaker. Trump wants to expand US lands to impress his idol putin and be like him, but instead he would lose territory.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago

The only meaningful argument against secession is that individual states would be weaker against invaders.

Except it didn't work. We were invaded over the internet and lost. What are we protecting ourselves against? Being invaded by a world power that gives its people health care? Losing the democracy we just lost despite never having it to begin with?

The USA is bad for everyone now... Even Americans.

[–] Pieisawesome 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It’s a nice idea, but they should be independent.

California has a larger population (and also GDP, I believe) than Canada.

It makes no sense that Canada would want to more than double its population overnight.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Create a Union. Let Europe help - we're VERY interested in a strong and democratic North American continent, and perhaps we can teach one or two things about democratic resiliency to the so-called "land of the free".

[–] leadore 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (12 children)

It's interesting to think about. If the blue states, which are not contiguous, seceded and joined together as a nation, they'd be scattered groups of states and easily defeated. But if they formed a union with Canada (the NAU?), then at least the territory of the NAU would be contiguous because most of the blue clumps are adjacent to Canada: the NE states, west coast states, Minnesota, probably Michigan, and then Illinois, which might be isolated depending on how Wisconsin would go. Colorado and New Mexico would still be isolated. Maybe they could defeat Arizona and be linked up with the west coast.

Then there'd be the issue of the US capital being D.C which along with its surroundings is overwhelmingly blue, so it would just have to be taken as part of the NE section, and Trumpistan would have to have its capital elsewhere.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago

you know how people were asking how people in Russia weren't violently fighting against Putin when he started the ukrane-russia war?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago

I too am proud about things I did nothing to be.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

The usa thought the insurgency was bad in Afghanistan, wait until they see the combo of the largest undefended boarder, a people with a very similar look and culture (at least for language) and oh yeah a unpopular occupation of the country that has had more entries added into the Geneva conventions then any other nation.

Yeah, and about those nukes in shared sites on Canadian land, all isolated and infamously under defended......

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (4 children)

well on one side Canada has Wali and can resurrect Leo Major with their secret maple syrup potion, on the other side they would loose access to their F-35 fleet. So I don't know if Canada has a chance or not.

If Canada find a way to clone Leo Major and send one Leo Major on each American city, it's an easy win for Canada. Can Mapple Syrup clone people?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago

Do not underestimate the power of maple syrup.

[–] NOT_RICK 10 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Don’t you dare call my dear F35 loose, she’s as tight as ever!

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The white house will be burned to black.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Diversity in that it will be Canadians proper rather than Brits along with any and all who wish to participate.

Equality in that the US should receive what it has given and what it threatens.

Inclusion in that everyone is welcome to the bonfire. To paraphrase some fuckwad, 'be there, it'll be wild'.

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