this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

Wait until anon discovers a hamburger with a glazed donut for a bun and the entire thing is deepfried.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Wait till Americans discover deep-fried candy bars, the one area where the Europeans (well, Scots in particular) area ahead of Americans in deep-fried tech.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We've had that for nearly a century, it's just state fair food because even Americans have standards.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 3 points 1 day ago

Forcing Presidents to eat Iowa Goy Slop on national television like it's a TLC reality TV show called "My 1000 lb Family" is a rite of passage in this country.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Haha that's cute! That's where deep frying starts here. We even deep fry butter.

Behold! A monument to American Gluttony!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Comes with a side of insulin I hope. $800 combo

[–] iAvicenna 5 points 1 day ago (4 children)

served with a side drink of milkshake with double cream on it

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[–] meliaesc 4 points 1 day ago

I haven't discovered this yet, praying 2025 won't be my year 🙏🏼

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Changing $12 for what is functionally agricultural waste product is so fucking funny.

Ground beef is what's left on the cow after all the choice bits have been carved off. The bun is so thick with preservatives most organisms literally can't eat it. The sauces are just colored corn syrup. The produce is bottom of the barrel.

This isn't food, it's industrial runoff. You'd eat better picking through the trash of a real grocery store.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

Lol. You don't know shit about fuck. It's honestly a little amazing.

[–] fourish 1 points 10 hours ago

Found the vegan. lol.

[–] LordWiggle 6 points 1 day ago

It's the gateway drug to insulin. Corn syrup infused fats, no vitamins or any other important stuff.

[–] Proprietary_Blend 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They didn't give you a pack of cigarettes with your meal? How un-yurapeein!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

that's france and finland specifically not all of europe

[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago

Germany is pretty smokey in some cities

[–] Maggoty 8 points 1 day ago

Americans shop for calories per dollar.

Please don't look at why they do that, we're the best country ever!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Malnourished european can not handle a real meal.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 day ago (1 children)

fun part is americans are fat AND malnourished….

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Explain how we are malnourished when ONE burger contains EVERY food group. You can't.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago (2 children)

That's what we got flintstone gummies for bruh.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

flintstone gummies

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flintstones_Chewable_Vitamins

They feature vitamins in the shapes of the Flintstones characters: Fred Flintstone, Wilma Flintstone, Pebbles Flintstone, Barney Rubble, Betty Rubble, Bamm-Bamm Rubble, Dino, and The Great Gazoo.

For over twenty years, Betty was not included as one of the vitamins. However, after a grassroots campaign and the results of a Bayer telephone poll came in favor of including Betty, the character was added to the lineup in 1995, replacing the Flintstone car.

The [email protected] people should be using Betty as their mascot.

[–] jaggedrobotpubes 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You put Fred Flinstone in your mouth? Sounds kind of gay.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Putting any of the Flintstone family in your mouth makes you strong. Those guys were real Americans who picked themselves up by their bootstraps.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Big food is kind of a marketing thing in America. Restaurants want to give their customers more " bang for their buck" (or at least appear to), but they don't want to lower prices. Instead, they increase portions. This has lead to a size arms race where every restaurant wants to claim they have the biggest food in town. This is especially the case for burger joints. It doesn't matter to the restaurant if customers eat all their food, since they pay for all of it either way. I'm guessing Americans are more culturally susceptible to this marketing tactic, since bigger-is-better is common here, and hence things have been taken further than in other countries.

This seems to be another case of someone throwing reason out the door for the sake of insulting Americans. There is no way you would be getting "shit eating grins" for ordering a kids meal. And if your large burgers are smaller than a kids meal, you either have very little size variation, or the small would be like a single bite.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Yeah, that worker is one of two in the entire restaurant. She has to take your order plus the five behind you, the drive-thru orders, make fries, bag it all up, take your monkey, clean tables, make coffee, refill the ketchup/soda/milkshake/yogurt contraptions with their various bags of sugary goo, restock counters/tables with all the varied plastic and paper geegaws, take out the trash, stock the walk-in, clean the bathrooms somebody sprayed with liquid shit, then count out and get to her other job by 3pm so she can then do it all again tomorrow. She doesn't give a fuck what anyone orders, it's just a blur of colors and lower back pain.

If she makes a face it's probably the best she can do to fake a smile because you might be a secret shopper who is going to ding her points for not saying, "Welcome to McDonald's Home of the McFlurry™ now with DoubleStuff™ Oreo™, what can I get started for you today because It Just Tastes Better!!℠" with the proper amount of obsequiousness.

There's plenty of reasons to hate the hellscape, no reason for anon to invent some.

[–] frostysauce 3 points 1 day ago

She can't have my monkey!

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