this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 38 comments
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[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Bow before your new king!!!! For I have received Excalibur from the lady of the ~~lake~~ box!!!!

[–] FlyingSquid 61 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well I didn't vote for you.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] FlyingSquid 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well how do you become king then?

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The Lady of the Swordbox, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the box signifying by Divine Providence that I, Ininewcrow, was to carry Excalibur!

That is why I am your king!

[–] steventhedev 52 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Bottom rack retail workers distributing replica weaponry is hardly a good basis for a system of government

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] BobbyGasoline 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some ~~watery~~ ren fair tart threw a sword at you!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] ThePyroPython 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

(gets grabbed by store security)

Ah now we see the violence in the system.

COME SEE THE VIOLENCE IN THE SYSTEM!

HELP! HELP! I'M BEING REPRESSED!

[–] Lemming421 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"How'd you know he was a Karen?"

"'E ain't got shit all over 'im."

[–] frostysauce 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL!?

[–] ThePyroPython 2 points 1 week ago

GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

If I was to say that I'm the emperor because some underpaid and overworked employee lobbed a foam claymore at me, they'd put me away!

[–] Mikug 6 points 1 week ago

You clearly haven't heard of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

I'm so fucked bruh I can't even imagine king Arthur as a man anymore

[–] Jerb322 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"By th power...."

"Get the hell out of here! Can't you read?!"

[–] Tedesche 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HAAAAAAVE THE POWEEEEEEEEER!!!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

"Sword of Omens, give me sight beyond sight"

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 week ago (2 children)

How about: "By the power of Grayskull…"?

[–] FlyingSquid 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Only if the sword will actually transform you into He-Man.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well, mine only transforms me into She-Gal. I hope the shop owners won't frown on that.

[–] FlyingSquid 16 points 1 week ago

There's already a She-Ra, ya know...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

If you took some LSD beforehand ..... for the user they did actually transform into He-man ..... or a hippopotamus .... whatever .... they still get the sword. .... alright Man-at-arms! Let's roll!!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

I will also accept:

"Thunder... Thunder. Thunder! ThunderCats!!! Hooooooooooooooooo!"

[–] gift_of_gab 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] FlyingSquid 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh there's a question... if you do a good Freddie Mercury impersonation can you pull out a sword? I would say yes.

[–] gift_of_gab 10 points 1 week ago

If you shout "I have inside me blood of Kings!" is a store worker required to shout "Yeah!" back?

[–] robocall 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It says "there can only be one" but there are in fact many swords to do this with.

[–] FlyingSquid 1 points 1 week ago

You can reduce the numbers faster if you don't need to keep taking the time to clean and sharpen.

[–] son_named_bort 5 points 1 week ago

There can be only two!

Wait, I screwed up. Can I get a Mulligan?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] A7thStone 2 points 1 week ago

Form Blazing Sword!

[–] germtm_ 1 points 1 week ago

demoknight tf2 moment.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Was that a reference to a highlander show?

[–] ikidd 1 points 1 week ago