this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2024
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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago

“Times are so tough that we’re even considering holding a cum drive charity event to restock our reserves.”

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Gwar, often stylized as GWAR, is an American heavy metal band formed in Richmond, Virginia, in 1984, composed of and operated by a frequently rotating line-up of musicians, artists, and filmmakers collectively known as Slave Pit Inc.
...
Identified by their distinctively grotesque costumes, Gwar's core thematic and visual concept revolves around an elaborate science fiction-themed mythology which portrays the band members as barbaric medieval nordic, mythological, biblical or interplanetary warriors, a narrative which serves as the basis for all of the band's albums, live shows and media. With over-the-top violent, sexual, and scatological humor typically incorporating social and political satire, Gwar has attracted both acclaim and controversy for its music and stage shows, the latter of which notoriously showcase enactments of graphic violence that result in the audience being sprayed with fake blood, urine, and semen. Such stagecraft regularly leads Gwar to be labeled a "shock rock" band by the media. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gwar

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

The real economic canary

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Ohlord.... I needed this laugh so much.

Thanks!

[–] hOrni 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Bummer. The fake cum and blood were the only reasons to see a GWAR show. It's not like anybody shows up for the music.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting 21 points 2 months ago

You'll be the first we feed to the sentient toilet

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm a Republican who does their Own Research and this is FALSE because GWAR isn't Real!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] AngryCommieKender 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

GWAR interviews cracked me up so much as a kid. Their commitment to the bit is awesome.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Dave was a lot better about staying in character than Mike is. There is an Opie & Anthony interview with Oderus and they could not get him to break character, then Oderus left and Dave comes in and they could not get him to admit he is Oderus.

While Mike sells Blöthar well, he does not have the commitment Dave did.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Obvious bait. A republican would never use "their".

[–] just_another_person 10 points 2 months ago

Best headline of the month

[–] Lost_My_Mind 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

FAKE cum??? Uhhhhhhh........yeah, sure. Fake.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

You have any idea how expensive the real stuff is? The amount of anime figurines required alone makes it unobtainium.

[–] JimVanDeventer 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's only cum if it's from the seminal vesicles in France. Otherwise, it's just sparkling semen.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's been fake since Oderus died. Blothar is fine, but he just doesn't have the supply at his age to fill all those drums for each show.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Blöthar produces 4 times as much, he has four cum udders vs one cuttlefish.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

lmao, ok you clearly have more detailed Blothar biology information that I do, so I'll assume you're correct.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I'm glad Oderus didn't have to deal with this shit.

[–] Mango 5 points 2 months ago

Time to buy the dip!