this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Like duct tape - my god, what is the world coming to

top 50 comments
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[–] tetris11 14 points 2 days ago (2 children)

ITT: people complaining about (virtually non-existent) people who didn't get it

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I like to create imaginary people that I can complain about though

[–] tetris11 2 points 2 days ago

I build my houses out of straw too

[–] AnUnusualRelic 4 points 2 days ago

I would never have made the connection if someone hadn't explained.

I'm not that used to illiteracy.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Chlorophyll? More like Borophyll...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!

[–] Thteven 1 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

And chloroform is freely available at your nearest chemist.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Is it comically accurate to 1950's cartoons in how it incapacitates a person?

[–] AnUnusualRelic 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] beejboytyson 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

From my understanding it takes 5-10 mins of consistent inhalation. And the effects last only seconds.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

And it is quite carcinogenic, so if you use it on some one, not only is it going to be quite ineffective, it's also probs going to give them cancer

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

It's super effective, just on a very long timescale.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago (2 children)

These are the same kind of people who freak out when you tell them everyone who has consumed dihydrogen monoxide will die.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I have a laser engraving machine at work that houses a class 3 fiber laser. The amount of people that lose their shit when you open the door to add/remove parts or straight up walk 50ft around the thing is insane. All because of a little sticker that says "Caution- Laser Radiation". They seem to think it's a reactor core or something. No matter how many times I've explained the difference between ionizing and non-ionizing radiation, and showed them the data sheet and safety interlocks, I get the same one line argument "It says radiation. It's gonna give everyone here cancer."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It’s gonna give everyone here cancer.”

Then they head off to the lake/beach for the weekend to work on their tan.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

One of the ladies goes to a tanning salon. These people work with Tetrahydrofuran and Ethylene Chloride, but decided to make this the hill to die on.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Does your work have baseboard heaters or radiators? Maybe it’s time to start putting those little stickers on everything that radiates energy

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

I've thought about it, but decided it's probably not worth getting sent to HR over. Chances are they'd be just as clueless and wouldn't find the joke very funny. Would be hilarious to watch the chaos unfold though.

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[–] [email protected] 120 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Took me a minute. Chloroform, for any other dumbys

[–] nialv7 15 points 4 days ago

kinda wondered why chlorophyll and chloroform have the same root, it's not like there's chlorine in chlorophyll.

turns out chloro- means yellowish green. TIL.

[–] AnUnusualRelic 19 points 4 days ago

Thanks. It would never have occurred to me.

[–] taiyang 91 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Why do the comments feel a bit whooshy on this one?

That said, I bet you could find a kidnapper starter kit somewhere on the Internet. Fun fact, chloroform doesn't work the way you think it does--- it isn't instant and it doesn't last long enough to be of any use like this. Movies have lied to you. Keep this in mind if you have weekend plans with any CEOs near you!

[–] Maalus 38 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Also the vulcan nerve pinch doesn't work. It was invented by Nimoy because he didn't want to punch a guy.

[–] papalonian 24 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Shit, next you're gonna tell me Vulcans aren't real.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Force waves hand “they don’t exist”

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Knocking someone out safely is also really difficult, but I see why movies like the trope

[–] captainlezbian 8 points 3 days ago

There's a reason it's the highest paid job in medicine

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

Ether can do what the movies say chloroform does, though.

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[–] Masamune 93 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Eheran 36 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] tetris11 3 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 55 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

You can also buy wolf piss but everyone loses their mind when a girl with pink hair sells her farts :(

[–] theangryseal 16 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Man, I might buy some coyote piss and spray my trash cans to make the raccoons fuck off.

I don’t want to hurt them, but if that don’t work I’m going airsoft on those assholes. If that don’t work, paintballs.

I’ve tried everything. I left them some food about 200 yards from my home and they’d eat that and still come and tear my trash cans apart.

Even if I got the cans with locked lids, it’s an apartment so I’d walk out to find the neighbor’s trash everywhere and they just walk past it like they didn’t see it. I left it once to see how long they’d ignore it. For four days my yard looked like a landfill. No one bothered to touch it,

It’s easy to see it’s your trash too. I see my one neighbor carrying 12 packs of sprite in every day. Sprite cans litter the yard? Yep. She doesn’t even care.

Told me once that she would have cleaned it but she didn’t have gloves. I asked her if she had soap and she huffed at me and went inside.

I’d chop my nuts off to live in a house again.

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[–] hperrin 62 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You can also buy mustard. Like, hello! All someone has to do is boil that, and they have mustard gas!

[–] nexguy 25 points 4 days ago

Heinz DOES sound German....

[–] DigiDemiFiend 39 points 4 days ago (4 children)

The ratio of comments that get the joke vs comments that don't is troubling

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Wait till they sell rohypnotoad

[–] hakunawazo 1 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 days ago

People complain about the fake reviews on Amazon (which are illegal now), but it's the dumb people that are the worst.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Chlorophyll doesn't immediately put you to sleep! Also it burns to inhale, from what I have read.

[–] FreakinSteve 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Civilization began collapsing after dictionaries were banned worldwide

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Amazon: Screwing humanity over for profits from A-Z!

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