And Finally...

Who says romance is dead?

5 times a day for a month!?

Where's he getting that much Saran wrap in jail?

Anyone can be a father. But it takes semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight to be a dad.

And they say romance is dead

Still a better love story than Twilight?

That headline just got wilder with every word

The Shaw-wank Redemption?

Edit: Or Sore-shaft Redemption.

Huh, I need to re-read the Gospels, I don't remember the part about Mary stuffing semen she got from the HVAC vents into her cooter. God indeed works in mysterious ways.

So that's how God did it, huh?

It's the tokophobia talking, but I do find it fascinating how much people can want to be pregnant.

To save any other Britons having to search it, "Saran Wrap" is American for "Cling Film".

Life uh, finds a way.

Who wants to take the odds on this actually being a guard's kid after the DNA test is done?

I don't know, I am more inclined to believe that they found a way to meet up and have sex, but they are trying to hide that so they don't get into trouble. Maybe the facility is going along with it, so they don't get into trouble either.

I read that as Satan-wrapped and I had questions. Then I read it correctly... still many questions.

This reminded me of a story in "Archipelago Gulag." Bear in mind, some gulags were absolutely vast.
So at least in this particular gulag, women and men had separate dormitories, but men often visited the ladies' huts and openly got it on, resulting in a lot of pregnancies. Pregnant women didn't need to work and after their 2nd (3rd?) child, they were discharged and could go home.
The guards finally managed to keep the intruders out, but now, men and women just met after work, out in the open. Guards put up barbed wire to gender-separate the areas. Pregnancies surged even harder. How so? You see, the wire did not touch the ground in all places. So the men got down under the wire, on their backs. The women squatted down, and...
The guards then put up a solid fence, but good jumpers/ climbers could get over it, so... pregnancies, still. Finally, they made the fence so tall that the baby-making stopped... almost entirely.

Hopefully these two never meet in person because their relationship would suddenly end very quickly.

That poor kid that gets born from this relationship though ..... "Hey! are you that guy/gal that got born from the prison Virgin Mary? I heard of that story years ago on the internet!"

"Did you love mommy a lot-alot?!"

Son

hand on your shoulder

It's like this...

"Potion seller, I need your strongest potions."

Getting a child in prison.

What could go wrong?

Mommy, where do babies come from? The Stork, love, you, the pipes.

Congrats on taking on child support payments from your fucking jail cell, m'dude.

OK. I read this and know that I just didn't die soon enough

spits out coffee

wwwhhhhhhaaaaattt?