this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/21517567

Summary

Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson claimed he was “physically mauled” by a demon in his sleep, leaving claw marks on his body, which he says are still visible. Carlson described waking with intense pain, bleeding claw marks, and an overwhelming urge to read the Bible. He recounted the experience as confusing yet transformative, adding that while he doesn’t expect others to believe him, the incident profoundly impacted him.

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[–] [email protected] 84 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Best part is left out of the headline. He was in bed with four dogs at the time.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

Because that's the punchline. Only when he says it, he has a straight face. He should do standup.

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean I can't fault him there. My wife and I share a bed with two dogs.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That wasn't my point. My animals are allowed in my bed too. But if I woke up with scratches I wouldn't leap to demon.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

True, I'm not saying it's aliens but... It's got to be aliens.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Were they female? 'Cause you know, when you get in bed with four bitches...

[–] makyo 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hopefully she comes back to finish the job

[–] FuglyDuck 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

His wife tried to bobbit him.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Doesn't he admit to sleeping with various puppies and dogs though?

[–] Arbiter 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
[–] Dorkyd68 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't want to live in this timeliness anymore. Can tuckers demons kill me plz

[–] Sterile_Technique 11 points 1 month ago

Can tuckers demons kill ~~me~~ tucker plz

I have no idea what kind of person you are, but your name isn't plastered all over articles seeking to damage communities in the US, so by that alone you're orders of magnitude more valuable then Tucker. I vote the demons go straight to the source on this one - no need for you to go down with it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

When you have so little moral even demons want to get out

[–] Thcdenton 3 points 1 month ago
[–] zoostation 1 points 1 month ago

Heather Langenkamp word balloon

[–] timewarp -1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That guy is gayer than Lindsay Graham. In fact, the demon might have been Lindsay Graham.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago