this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 205 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Missed the chance to call her Vati-chan.

[–] [email protected] 77 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh damn, in German, "Vati" is an affectionate form like "daddy", except it's the word stem of "father" ("Vater").

And wouldn't you know it, Christians also use "Vater" to refer to priests, the pope and their god.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Yes, the US largely figured that out with The Empire Strikes Back. 😜

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[–] [email protected] 152 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (7 children)

Lmfao anyone see the movie Dogma, this is modern day Buddy Christ! 😂

BuddyChrist

[–] Kaput 46 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Buddy Jesus would have been an a better choice. The internet fanfiction might have worked for them. I predict they won't be pleased by the fanfiction they're about to get from under age manga.

[–] FuglyDuck 32 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

not...publicly pleased, at any rate...

but amongst themselves? probably swapping their favorites around.

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[–] Tattorack 104 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

The Catholic Church has a new mascot.

It's a small child.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 weeks ago

"How do we distract from all the child molestation?"

"Loli mascot?"

"Genius, go out and buy a 3d printer so I can get my hands on her ASAP!"

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[–] dohpaz42 94 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Because an official anime boy mascot would be too apropos?

[–] TriflingToad 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

There's more than the one who are (I assume*) boys, also I don't understand what you mean by 'would be too apropos', could you explain?

* I assume because I couldn't find much information about the side characters other than their names Fe, Xin, and Sky. All the references on the Wikipedia page just say their names and include the photo at most or don't even acknowledge them at the least.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago

Young boys especially, but young girls too are probably a little touchy for them to use. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_Church_sexual_abuse_cases

[–] [email protected] 83 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Numbers are down, release the waifu! Common business strategy with ancient roots.

Samsung Sam corporate comic

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[–] chemical_cutthroat 66 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Are they running so low on young people to molest they've resulted to youthful dolls?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Pope played Elden Ring and fell head over heels for Ranni

[–] peopleproblems 12 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Look, she had 4 arms, a body to kill for, and had a way of getting in your head

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[–] Jerb322 59 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

All I hear is, the Vatican is after the young crowd. Imagine that....

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago

🌍🧑‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀

[–] Frostbeard 54 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)
[–] Evotech 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)
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[–] bcgm3 13 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I can't be sure this was the primary use-case that the AI inventors envisioned, but it's hard to argue that it's not successful at this. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 58 points 3 weeks ago (15 children)

Yes; "Luce" is Italian for "Light' and "Lucifer" is Latin for "light bearer". They are cognates.

[–] Rolando 31 points 3 weeks ago

So whoever carries that anime figure is literally Luciferian.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

"Luz" is an incredibly common name in Spanish speaking countries. It means light. "Luce" means light in Italian, but seems to be less common as a name. Lucifer means "Light-bringer", and the myth of the light-bringer is much, much older than Christianity.

Old religions thought things in the sky were gods. Venus orbits closer to the sun than the Earth, which means light reflecting from it is extremely bright, but that light is only visible near sunrise and sunset. During the rest of the day the brightness of the sun overwhelms the reflected light from Venus, and during the rest of the night it's not visible because it's near the sun, so it's behind the earth. So, old religions talked about the brightest "god" in the sky, who disappeared when it got too bright or too dark. That led to the myth of the god who tried to be the brightest light and was cast down. That, of course, led to Satan, A.K.A. Lucifer.

I guess the Catholic church was giving its followers too much credit in their understanding of words.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 weeks ago

Something something "the power of god and anime on my side"

[–] ArgentRaven 42 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

So they choose Luce, so close to Lucifer, and they expect the Internet to NOT bring it up? There's Lucy, Daughter of the Devil on Cartoon Network for shit's sake.

Nevermind the connections to Death Note, a far more popular anime about Light Yagami, and the subtle connections between his name and Lucifer the Lightbringer.

This seems so much worse on it's face, even if you leave out the undertones of children's abuse by the church and Rule 34 that will come out (which are worse, but the church keeps trying to bury it)

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

I know nothing about anime, but I guess it is not that bad? Luce is straight up "light" in Italian, and Lucifer just means "the one who brings light" because it's the Angel's name, before the fall according to the fairytale. So from their POV it should all make sense.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This is the onion-ness we all deserve

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 weeks ago

How is this NOT the onion...

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 weeks ago

Luce will also represent the Holy See at Expo 2025 in Osaka, Japan.

I love this sentence so much.

[–] Grimy 28 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Target demographic: lolicons

[–] Twinklebreeze 51 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I would say the target demographic is Catholics. That's an important distinction, because it includes shotacons too.

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[–] NatakuNox 28 points 3 weeks ago
[–] Mango 27 points 3 weeks ago

Finally the Catholics have discovered religion!

[–] samus12345 27 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Looks kinda like that Chickpea comic.

[–] finitebanjo 33 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

it looks like if raincoats were hijabs...

Who are they trying to appeal to with this, are they launching a vatican sponsored cocomelon clone?

[–] samus12345 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The dog shit on their boots is a nice touch.

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[–] TriflingToad 27 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

that's adorable. I like the frog looking one, as my name implies.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh god, I can’t help but see the reflection in their eyes as a hand with way too many fingers

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[–] Sam_Bass 25 points 3 weeks ago

yeah thats gonna clean up their image

[–] Kaput 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No way they're going to regret that decision....

[–] pennomi 15 points 3 weeks ago

Don’t worry, the R34 artists are already on it.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Thank god they didn't go furry with any of their characters.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

2034: The Vatican unveils official furry mascot

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago

Aslan from the Narnia series is basically a feral fan-made fursona for Jesus

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Her name is Light? Like the guy from Death Note?

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Child Rape, Incorporated really shouldn't, they really really shouldn't, they really really really just should not

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago

but she's ackchyually 2,000 years old

[–] GrymEdm 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

"Ara Ara! Popu-Sensei is so kawaii!" /s Too bad there are so many cases where Catholic anime turns into the darkest type of hentai.

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