this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2024
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rOzeclawz Follow 2d ago

what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went "you havent made a list in a while!" are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now

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[–] [email protected] 166 points 2 months ago (8 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It makes me more angry that it should that Alexa talks back to me when I ask it to do stuff.

“NOW CONNECTED TO YOUR PHONE!”

YES I FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE YOU MADE THE BEEPING NOISE YOU MAKE AND THAT’S OK BUT DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME

[–] FinalRemix 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Your problem is having an Alexa in the first place. That's a simple fix, though. Your local recycling center will take e-waste.

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[–] [email protected] 121 points 2 months ago (4 children)

The worst are apps that send ads through notifications.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 2 months ago

That's an instant uninstall for me

[–] chonglibloodsport 21 points 2 months ago (4 children)

The worst is when an otherwise great app does that! And they also send really important notifications too, so you can’t just disable notifications!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Many apps have "notification channels" (on android), to customize what notifications you get. You could choose to disable some notifications and keep others.

[–] chonglibloodsport 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Are apps able to lie though? Say, by putting ads into the same channel as essential notifications?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yes and some do it constantly. Other have say two channels and just name them like “important stuff” and “really important stuff” and just mix ads in both.

There was a time, when the Amazon App complained every time you opened it (and every few pages of browsing) that not all notifications were allowed and constantly nagged you to turn them on, if you disabled any categories in the app or notification channels.

[–] chonglibloodsport 9 points 2 months ago

Yeah so the feature actually sounds completely useless against a determined adver~~sary~~tiser. At the very least, apps should have no way of knowing whether notifications are turned on, including no means of knowing whether a notification was displayed or not.

App stores should also make a policy of banning apps that don’t explicitly keep all their ads in an advertising channel.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Probably yes. But most apps probably behave well

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[–] aeronmelon 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Send a bug report every single time it happens.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Issue #363 - My phone notified me about an add

Issue #366 - My phone have notified me about ads twice

Issue #372 - My phone have notified me about ads three times

That's the good stuff.

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[–] Ensign_Crab 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You forgot the ones that decide they need to play their own sounds to accompany the notification.

It took exactly one time of the Taco Bell app making my phone do their stupid bong sound for me to swear off taco bell for life.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

making my phone do their stupid bong sound

-Rapid bubbling- -Short burst of coughs- “Bruh, we should totally get munchies.”

[–] Ensign_Crab 8 points 2 months ago

No, their stupid bong sound. Not a welcome bong sound.

[–] RestrictedAccount 9 points 2 months ago

I’m looking at you ESPN

[–] [email protected] 91 points 2 months ago (1 children)

One more reason why i prefer Open Source. There, apps get made for utility, not for money.

[–] Johnmannesca 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And popularized by utility, not profit or market share

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or ad campaigns! Don't forget terrible products that are popularized by ads alone!

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Any app that does shit like that immediately loses notification privileges. At the very least. If it's something that I don't need (thanks for reminding me, app), then I will just remove it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I wish there was a more punitive option. Like, yeah, I disallowed notifications, but I also had a leaky gallon of liquid shit delivered to the CEO's home.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"You are right, I'm not using you. Uninstalled."

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[–] makyo 53 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's the only thing worse than getting interrupted using the app asking for me to review it

[–] Z3k3 45 points 2 months ago

Three seconds after you start it for the 1st time

[–] Anticorp 10 points 2 months ago

I do review them when they pull that bullshit, I give them 1 star.

[–] donuts 39 points 2 months ago (10 children)

This is why on newer Android versions you can just flat out reject being allowed to send notifications.

I will talk to you when I need it, not the other way around.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (6 children)

I had no idea people didn't do this! First notification I get from an app that isn't some form of messaging, straight to settings and turn off notifications.

People are getting notifications from news apps. Apart from actual World War Fuckin Three, what possible news story could be worth being disturbed by your phone for?!?

[–] donuts 13 points 2 months ago

Well before the current Android version, you had to manually go into the settings of the app or your phone to disable them. Now you get this on first boot of the app:

This makes it a lot easier to reject them immediately

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[–] ZoopZeZoop 21 points 2 months ago

This. I shut off all notifications from nearly all of my apps. Primary text app, phone app, and just a couple of others. I may temporarily allow them for a special purpose, but once that's over they all get silenced and I get to them when I get to them. I hate badge notifications, too. So, those are off for EVERYTHING. Grad school cemented that aversion.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 months ago

"You haven't given us your data in a while!"

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Sometimes I put directions into Maps for a work thing and I have to be there before the location opens to the public and when I put the address in, before it will give me directions, the app says, "HEY, THE PLACE YOU'RE GOING MIGHT NOT BE OPEN, JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW, STUPID ASSHOLE."

It makes me unreasonably(?) furious.

[–] donuts 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I get this happen to me too, but honestly it feels like a feature that helps more people than it annoys the rest. Even though I'm among those annoyed

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's like when customer service call centers have 'longer than average wait times" because of "higher than average call volume" all of the fucking time. If it happens all the time, it ain't higher than average.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

Breh my job involves driving to addresses outside of their normal working hours to the general public . It is so f u c k i n g annoying to have to listen to day in and day out. Same with "traffic is heavier than usual". Also every. Damn. Day at the same time of day.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I changed my first name in part because of this kind of nonsense. In the old days companies would refer to you as Mr. Surname, these days they're gross and chummy. Stay in your lane, we're not friends, you can use my paperwork name that I have no emotional connection to.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'm using more and more "master" as a first name online. That helps a lot.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Hey Flamekebab, why aren't you meeting your commitment to practice swahili for 40 minutes a day :(

[–] Agent641 22 points 2 months ago

App developers should learn that the "Maybe later" button makes me delete their app.

Yes or no.

[–] SlopppyEngineer 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

It increases engagement and that's what the developer wants, especially if there are ads or purchases in the app. So you might hate it but it works.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Damn engagers, ruining it for the rest of us.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

The only engagement it gets after an unwanted notification is the uninstall button.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I hate how app send notifications constantly now. It's gotten to the point where I'll just uninstall it if it annoys me.

[–] SourGumGum 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I've muted 95% of all apps from being able to notify me.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Turn on "do not disturb" permanently. That's what I did

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

I AM A DIVINE BEING

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

DATA me NEED DATA

[–] shneancy 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

the only apps that are allowed to speak to me are messengers, weather, and my bank. Nothing else has speaking privileges.

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