this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2024
418 points (97.5% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] BatrickPateman 272 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Maybe anon has more luck flirting outside of his household?

[–] Klear 27 points 3 months ago (2 children)

That, or try breaking his arms.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Yup, more than one way to skin a cat. (BTW, I heard this term as a construction term, as in operating a Caterpillar machine).

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Furiously peels the vinyl off the tractor seat.

[–] Ensign_Crab 4 points 3 months ago

slowly peels vinyl off the tractor seat Yup. More than one way.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I don’t think anon’s mom loves him that much. Anon is anon, after all.

[–] lulztard 118 points 3 months ago

This could also be a great textbook example of social conditioning. Women and men self-perpetuating gender stereotypes and acting weirded out when they're being violated.

[–] [email protected] 88 points 3 months ago (4 children)

$100 bucks says Anon is ugly and/or overweight.

[–] Crashumbc 63 points 3 months ago

Only if the person that made up the fictional character writes it that way.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Or just gives off massive fake and gay energy

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago (2 children)

$100 says the green text is an artistic work of falsehood

[–] Donkter 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

100¢ says anon is a bad flirt.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Naw, that still assumes anon is a real person, telling a real story.

As a rule, anything posted to /b/ is an artistic work of fiction or falshood, and only a fool would believe otherwise

[–] Glitterbomb 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Isn't that exact quote posted on the top of every page on /b/? Wouldn't that make that rule itself an artistic work of fiction?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Almost exactly, yeah

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

tf? green text is always true, anon never makes shit up.

[–] Valmond 4 points 3 months ago

"All those women feeding him"

[–] PugJesus 42 points 3 months ago

Well, it's probably because he's the leper king of Jerusalem, judging by that mask

[–] ladicius 38 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If your mom is nice to you she simply protects her assets. Her behaviour towards you is in no way an indicator on how attractive you are for potential partners from outside your family.

Her behaviour towards you however may be an indicator on how attractive you are for potential partners inside your family.

[–] _stranger_ 19 points 3 months ago

ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Idk if this is solace for someone or not but as a lesbian I never had it any easier than this hypothetical chap

[–] NikkiDimes 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

I gave up and found a boyfriend. I'm not even kidding. I'm like...90% lesbian though.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (2 children)

That's called being bi my fellow gril

As for myself, I found a long distance lesbo partner by being an uber mega nerd about am old free visual novel

[–] Jiggle_Physics 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Isn't this situation how the term incel was coined? Like, it was a lesbian who could not get a girlfriend, and eventually started saying she was involuntarily celibate, which got shortened to incel?

[–] NikkiDimes 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Fair, but I really don't consider myself bi. I like women and I like my boyfriend haha.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It's funny - the bi women I know have a much better understanding of how difficult it is to date women than the straight women do. "But why don't you just do online dating? I had a lot of success meeting men through online dating!"

(Before anyone says anything: yeah, straight women have their own problems.)

[–] GottaKnowYourCHKN 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] NikkiDimes 2 points 2 months ago (4 children)
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[–] TORFdot0 27 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Fedizen 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Problem: Anon keeps trying to date his mom

Solution: Anon needs to try using a dating service or app

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Or his sisters. Anon has options.

[–] comrade19 11 points 3 months ago

Time for reform

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (4 children)

What no male role models does to a mf.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I'm kind of surprised what gets downvoted these days.. do people actually not know that humans are imitation learners in almost every social and scientific aspect? 😨

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

In the same vein I'm shocked how little reading comprehension people have these days (such as this comment) and how people and how quickly people jump to align any information with their worldview. The post even said "majority" with no indication that the father wasn't around. For example someone that has two siblings, both sisters would fit that category.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I think you misinterpreted some or most of the downvotes. The problem seems to be the role model that they did find.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

op had no male role models because the entire scenario is completely made up for attention on the internet

[–] Dead_or_Alive 2 points 3 months ago

100%, women may say they don’t like masculinity, but it works because it is a stereotype they understand. They know what their role is and what to expect when interacting with a man who displays those traits.

Lil’homie is probably putting out friend vibes because he has no problem talking with women and treats them too well.

[–] Pacattack57 11 points 3 months ago

Being raised by women doesn’t make you a pussy magnet anon.

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