this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2024
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A man with a facial disfigurement says he was asked to leave a restaurant in south London because staff said he was "scaring the customers". 

Oliver Bromley has Neurofibromatosis Type 1, a genetic condition that causes non-cancerous tumours to grow on his nerves.

Speaking to the BBC, he said when he had gone to place an order at a restaurant in Camberwell, staff told him there had been complaints about him.

"It's a horrible thing to happen. I took it very personally on the day," he said.

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[–] Nuke_the_whales 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He said they had told him that although it was a hate crime, it was "unlikely" officers could pursue it further.

But when someone shop lifts from a corporation, here come the cops running

[–] Etterra 1 points 22 hours ago

Time to lawyer up. Though I don't know how the law works there in Britland.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 16 hours ago

I do feel for the guy, but I also feel bad for the restaurant. It's not an easy position to be in. It seems like a pretty rare condition and it's not like he will be carrying any sort of proof as to what the condition is let alone anyone on staff at the restaurant that could diagnose him or even say if the condition matches what he claims it to be.

If someone walked in with small pox I would hope the restaurant would eject them, but it's not like they would be able to say if it is or isn't small pox. It's a no win situation for both parties involved.

[–] Roflmasterbigpimp 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's just horrible. And wtf is this "Yes it's a crime but what can we do?" bullshit. Man I feel sorry for that guy. No body deserves to be treated that way. He just wanted to have a nice night out. Fuck that restaurant.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It's 1000% a human rights violation. There are proper channels. Don't think police can do anything. The police even called it a hate crime, which it is not, because kicking someone out of a restaurant, regardless of the reason, isn't a crime in and of itself.

[–] SkunkWorkz 35 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (6 children)

It seems that some British hate handicapped/disfigured people. Just read this article about a kid in a wheelchair being excluded from the school photo. https://www.theguardian.com/education/2024/mar/29/aberdeenshire-pupils-with-complex-needs-erased-from-school-photo

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/apr/04/school-photos-disabled-children

or people complaining about seeing a tv host with a missing arm. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2011/feb/21/tv-presenter-cerrie-burnell

It's just good old British Classism that never went away.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Don't all countries have this problem?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Maybe it's just where I was raised, but I don't see this at all in my day to day life in the US. Things have come a very long way.

I'm sure there are still things that are shitty that I probably wouldn't notice as I'm not in that position... But in general, most people here don't seem to give a shit these days.

To be clear, I'm not referring to classism. That still exists to a degree, though it's mostly been supplanted by racism.

[–] IzzyJ 4 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

We have out problems, but were actually really good about ableism, so silver lining. Still feel for that guy though, hope he gets all the good things he deserves

[–] TriflingToad 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I see people with prosthetic legs all the time at my work (grocery store) and I think nothing more of it than "that guy could do an absolutely dope robot costume for Halloween"

I did see someone with double prosthetic legs and that was cool.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 22 hours ago

As a guy with a prosthetic leg that walks in grocery stores. Yes, we can do awesome costumes. Yes, a lot of horrific discrimination still happens in the US to non-abled bodied and non-neurotypical peoples.

[–] SkunkWorkz 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

To some degree. Never heard of handicapped kids being excluded from school photos in my country though.

[–] linearchaos 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

And if you were asked to leave in the US because of a facial disfigurement you could fully expect to have a business closing lawsuit won against you in no time at all. Wa are as litigious AF for better or worse, usually worse.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The USA and England both have comparable human rights legislation. This is a slam dunk case for a human rights case.

[–] linearchaos 1 points 23 hours ago

Well thats good to hear

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[–] [email protected] 152 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I’ll take a restaurant full of disfigured people over 1 misbehaving toddler.

[–] IMALlama 41 points 1 day ago (2 children)

As a parent of younger kids, we're sorry. We come armed with as many activities as possible and will take our kids outside if they're too excited until food gets to the table. That will help them focus on eating.

We very rarely went out to eat when they were toddlers due to fear of our kids bothering others and understand that our desire to experience some level of normalcy shouldn't come at the expense of others.

All that said, if the parents are trying to keep their kids occupied, please extend some grace. Being a parent can be extremely isolating and we're simply trying to pretend like we still get to do normal things once in a while.

[–] Smoogs 9 points 1 day ago

If you’re trying, the ire isn’t for you. It’s for the shitty parents that feel entitled to not teach their children to behave, don’t feel it’s their job to or act like they are a victim of a life choice and take it out on the child or others. There are plenty of those type out there and I’m sure you don’t want to be lumped in with those ones, you also don’t have to defend them.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

This is fine, and we thank you for your efforts.

What were talking about here is a rogue crotch spawn running around or under tables, occupied or not, and generally acting like they're in their own living room rather than a shared community space.

Honestly IMO if you can keep them at the table, I can put up with the noise. Sure, it's annoying, but so are kids. It's a package deal. And everyone was a kid at one point in time and therefore has no excuse to complain too loudly. That's reserved for when I have to drag a screeching rug rodent out from under my chair and haul it back to the absentee sperm and egg donors.

[–] IMALlama 16 points 1 day ago

Haha, our kids do go under our table at times but they know not to go under other people's tables.

I don't have much tolerance for absentee parenting either, especially if the kids wind up seeking attention from others, by say going under someone else's table, because they're not getting enough attention from their own parents.

[–] beansbeansbeans 4 points 1 day ago

As someone who formerly worked at a restaurant, I agree.

We were located in a fenced off area owned by the same company that had a string of bars/clubs, so after 8pm only 21+ were allowed in, but on Saturday afternoons the stroller crowd would roll through and let their kids run around making a mess of all the tables.

I'm not against parents bringing their kids out for a meal, but if they're just sitting there pounding beer after beer and ignoring their chaotic unleashed children then it gets really old really fast.

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[–] FlyingSquid 59 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They don't want to look at that guy's ugly face? I bet it looks nicer than their ugly minds.

[–] bitwaba 7 points 1 day ago

Probably looks better than their ugly faces too.

[–] [email protected] 239 points 2 days ago (3 children)

He said they had told him that although it was a hate crime, it was "unlikely" officers could pursue it further.

That's messed up.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

For it to be a hate crime, the act of kicking someone out of your restaurant needs to be illegal. Since it isn't illegal, it becomes a human rights violation. These cops are idiots.

[–] JustARegularNerd 24 points 1 day ago

The paragraph after is golden:

The Met confirmed to the BBC that officers had visited Mr Bromley about the incident and that although no arrests had been made, the force took "reports of hate crime seriously".

[–] [email protected] 146 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Welcome to British policing.

"We have determined that this was indeed a hate crime, and therefore we'll be doing nothing. But if it happens two more times we'll congratulate them on the hat trick and offer to enroll them in the police academy."

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 days ago (4 children)

America learned everything we know from England.

[–] Cosmonauticus 20 points 1 day ago

Living in Europe I have to constantly remind ppl that American racism is just European racism with better access to guns

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[–] [email protected] 117 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I wouldn’t want to look at that while I was eating… SO I WOULD AVOID STARING AT HIM. Complaining about the guy is not the answer. Self control and respect are.

[–] [email protected] 81 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (8 children)

The article says he thinks there wasn’t enough time for someone to complain, the restaurant staff was using it as an excuse.

“He said: "After entering I noticed a cash-only sign, so went straight back outside to withdraw my money.

"I went back into the restaurant to place an order, and they told me to 'please leave', because in their words I was 'scaring the customers', and there had been complaints about me."

He added: "There had not been enough time between the time I had been there first, and the time I went back, for anyone to have made a complaint about me so obviously the restaurant staff were not happy with the way I looked." “

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[–] [email protected] 139 points 2 days ago (18 children)

Then don't look at him? The man was just trying to eat. Poor guy.

[–] FlyingSquid 22 points 1 day ago

I feel so bad for this guy. Imagine the shit he has to put up with all the time. I used to work with a lady who had a big tumor on her face. She was so sweet, but I'm sure she had to put up with all kinds of horrible shit. I honestly really liked her. I would have asked her out if I hadn't been in a relationship because we got along really well. I don't care if you have a big tumor on your face. I'll get used to it after I've seen you for more than a minute or two.

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[–] PugJesus 97 points 2 days ago

I know judging people on their appearances isn't right, and he shouldn't have been kicked out regardless of what he looked like.

... but it doesn't even look that bad? Like, "I've got one eye and a skin condition", is that really what the restaurant is willing to kick people out for?

Hope he gets some sort of justice out of this.

[–] Seleni 58 points 2 days ago

See, Britain just needs Ugly Laws, like what America had up until 1974! Then they could just have the guy arrested!

In all seriousness what the fuck. What goes through a person’s head that they think treating someone that way is even remotely okay?

[–] [email protected] 96 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Some people are just determined to make it difficult to believe humanity is worth saving.

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 days ago (8 children)

Whats the UKs disability rights laws look like? Hope he takes em to task for their discrimination.

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