this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2024
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A shop assistant in Guernsey has been awarded 40 sausage rolls for 40 years of service.

Fifty-six-year-old Kevin Parsons started working at the island's Alliance supermarket in 1984.

Bosses marked the anniversary by giving him a certificate, a tropical-themed mural for his home and a sausage roll for each of his next 40 shifts.

Mr Parsons, who was described as an "Alliance celebrity" by bosses, said "words can't express my appreciation" for his gifts.

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[–] lemmus 50 points 1 month ago (4 children)

This sounds bad, but in Britain it is an honor unparalleled to be bestowed upon oneself the sum of multiple sausage rolls. 40 is approx $3.6 million.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Can a yank get a picture of one of these culinary masterpieces for reference?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

They're a carefully guarded national secret with strict controls on their export and depiction. We'd not what the Americans stealing the idea and then calling the "dogs in jackets" of some such.

[–] qarbone 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

we've had pigs in a blanket for decades, m8. your mi2 has failed you.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

That is entirely correct. You Americans are far too clever for us simpleton Brits. Pigs in blankets are exactly the same thing as sausage rolls. There is no need for you to investigate any further at all.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

We actually accepted it as part of the technology transfers for Lend-Lease.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Wait, really?!?! That looks amazing!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

So sausage rolls are like the bearer bonds of Britain?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

They did the math.

[–] x00z 31 points 1 month ago

40 years is almost a lifetime. That's almost straight from school/college to retirement.

In a better reality: "Besides this huge bonus we have also made a big payment towards your retirement fund to make sure you are set for life."

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Eat these unhealthy things quickly and die so we can hire someone for less" ~ manager probably.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

What gets me is the parallel between the animals likely suffering horrible abuse before being killed and typical employee life.

[–] Eheran 29 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

/ABoringDystopia

[–] Treczoks 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

When I started in my job, people got a watch for their 10th jubilee, and even bigger presents for later ones. When I was there for nine years, they dropped the idea of jubilee gifts. Maybe the boss unearths that tradition again - next year, I'm working here for 30 years. And hopefully, the gift will not be something like 30m of cable or something...

[–] guy_threepwood 1 points 1 month ago

Maybe a 30cm ruler

[–] madcaesar 16 points 1 month ago

It's like a "I can't believe you stayed here for 40 years you sucker 😂 here's some sausages or whatever..." gift

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Yes, this is wildly stupid. But also it’s a local independent retailer according to the article so I feel less hostile towards it

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

All expired stock

[–] bizzle 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What does "mural" mean in British English? I feel like getting gifted a mural from my work would be disproportionately cool.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

A painted wall. Presumably, someone paints it on his wall, as opposed to them delivering a pre-painted wall.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I hope they’re bringing in a true master of the art from the Shankhill Road.

[–] bizzle 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

That's what I thought 🤔 don't get me wrong I'm sure this dudes been exploited for 40 years and that's shitty as fuck but a mural sounds like a rad gift

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's not a big supermarket chain (they have two stores in Jersey and Guernsey), so likely treat their workers better. As the bosses presumably know all their workers it does mean this is a bit more personal than just some HR drone punching a button because their details flashed up on a screen.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's absolutely going to be a mural of a massive sausage roll

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Kaput 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How why where.. that's a painting I didn't know I needed

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It is a riff on "Saturn devouring his son" I think.

[–] Kaput 2 points 1 month ago

It is absolutely that, I want to congratulate the artist. also great use of it in this thread.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I assume when they say tropical they mean a sandy beach with waves lapping on the sand, palm trees coming down to the beaches edge and reclining on the sand is a massive sausage roll.

[–] Professorozone 2 points 1 month ago

I would not want a mural in my house. This would literally be the opposite of a gift for me.

[–] I_Has_A_Hat 1 points 1 month ago

I feel like the cost of a tropical themed mural could be better spent on like, a tropical vacation. But I don't know, I'm not a mural guy.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My headcanon is his boss kept trying to give him a lovely tropical vacation for retirement and he kept saying “nah, i’d rather sit at home and relax”, hence the tropical themed mural for his home.

[–] PixeIOrange 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

My headcanon is, boss won the mural on a tropical vacation, hates it and now gives it to his employee.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

This is now official canon.

[–] Nfamwap 6 points 1 month ago

"Words can't describe my appreciation for his gifts"

Here's one for you, Kev - Shit!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Like, 40 sausage rolls to last the entire 40 years? Does he get them all at once or is it on an interval?

Edit: He be get them one per shift for next 40 shifts, sounds real kind of them