this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2024
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As the Frenchman prepared to relinquish his pole, his own manhood grazed the bar with enough force to send it crashing to the floor, thus ending his hopes of a medal.

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[–] cybervseas 97 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I mean of all the reasons to not medal at The Olympics, "My penis was too big and it got in the way" is a solid reason.

One pole ruined the other.

Edit: hopefully this will inspire some consolation fun in Olympic Village before he goes home. If he's into that.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] braindefragger 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I’ve never encountered a more famous, talentless “musician” in my life.

[–] TheDemonBuer 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)

If only he had consulted some drag queens before the competition...

[–] Num10ck 14 points 4 months ago (3 children)

can you tuck it away and still run at olympic speeds?

[–] loie 25 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Probably not. Even if you could, I wouldn't recommend trying. Part of "tucking" involves pushing your balls up into the space they inhabited before puberty. That can be very dangerous and has a higher-than-average chance of leading to testicular torsion, which can require surgery or even amputation. I'd be very concerned about the athlete's testicles getting jostled around and twisting while they're competing.

Also, in my (admittedly limited) experience, it's not very comfortable.

Then again, there might be athletic trans women who've figured out how to tuck without risking torsion.

[–] saltesc 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Wear really high kinky boots and just step over the bar

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Pretty much lol

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

tuck it away

[–] Brkdncr 20 points 4 months ago

Isn’t that a punch in the dick.

[–] morphballganon 17 points 4 months ago

Honestly that is a more memorable legacy.

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe 14 points 4 months ago

I mean, who here hasn’t lost out on Olympic medals when their junk got in the way?

[–] peopleproblems 13 points 4 months ago

And this is why I'm happy to be a grower instead of a shower

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

https://people.com/french-pole-vaulter-did-not-lose-because-his-crotch-2024-olympics-8690008

No, a French Pole Vaulter Did Not Lose Out on an Olympic Medal Because of His Crotch

The internet blamed Anthony Ammirati's "bulge" for ending his Olympic dreams — but the vaulter knocked down the crossbar with another appendage

French pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati won't be moving on to the men's pole vault final at the Paris Olympics — but contrary to speculation, it has nothing to do with his crotch.

Ammirati, 21, went viral on Saturday, Aug. 3 after a video of one of his pole vault attempts made it look like he failed to clear the bar because of his "bulge," which seemed to knock down the crossbar. The theory quickly picked up steam and spread like wildfire on social media and through headlines, but a closer look at the video shows that was not actually the case.

During the jump, Ammirati tries to clear the bar but first hits it with his shins and then his knees. It's already a failed jump, but to add injury (presumably) to insult, Ammirati knocks the bar off fully after he hits it with his crotch.

[–] astanix 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

So he jostled it with other parts but knocked it off with his crotch... yet the article is trying to say he didn't. Even though the last line says that's what finished it.

That's some journalism there.

[–] jj4211 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Didn't know the rules, was the jump already violated by his body otherwise hiring the bar, regardless of when it fell? If so the articles subject that he didn't lose due to his crotch would hold.

[–] astanix 4 points 4 months ago

"A successful pole vault is when the athlete clears the bar without dislodging it."

[–] acosmichippo 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] ChowJeeBai 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I'm sure someone got a rise out of it.

[–] chalupapocalypse 5 points 4 months ago

Thanks mysticpickle