this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 88 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Maybe it didn't, but it does now.

[–] Etterra 3 points 3 months ago

Oh it absolutely does now.

[–] [email protected] 68 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I thought it meant Jackin Decouch

[–] MermaidsGarden 51 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Are people still talking about JD Vance having sex with a couch? We need to put to bed the idea of JD Vance having sex with a couch. It’s not appropriate for people to think of Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance having sex with a couch. JD Vance has gone on record to deny that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within the last 5 years. It’s absurd that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after making sweet, passionate love to a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.

Once again, there is no evidence of JD Vance having sex with a couch. You need to stop calling JD Vance a couchfucker.

[–] evidences 17 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Pssst just a heads up there's no Cleveland area IKEA, there are however an Ikea in both the Columbus and Cincinnati areas.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago

They probably had to close the IKEA in Cleveland after homie fucked a couch in it. That's the type of situation that will ruin a business.

[–] Th3D3k0y 2 points 3 months ago

Is all Appalachian... right? Like Middletown, middle of Appalachian town... Dude's an idiot

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I have no idea how one can avoid having bare skin contact with a couch for five years. Unless you always wear long sleeve shirts, socks and long pants and be very careful about where you put your hands.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

As one should.

[–] disguy_ovahea 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Jizzin Dolphins

[–] [email protected] 61 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I won't stand for this slander against my boi Jorkin Depeanus

[–] SidewaysHighways 10 points 3 months ago

That's right we have to FIGHT! FLIGHT!

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Can they prove it doesn't?

Let's see his birth certificate.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] TimeNaan 6 points 3 months ago

It's a Jance Dance Vance Chance!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 months ago

Jiant Dildo

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe 11 points 3 months ago

Justin DeCouch

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

Jackass Dingus

[–] richtellyard 10 points 3 months ago

Jilted Duvet

[–] Randelung 9 points 3 months ago

methinks he doth protest too much

[–] Psythik 7 points 3 months ago

Jackass Dipshit

[–] norimee 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] SidewaysHighways 2 points 3 months ago

Can this be confirmed?

[–] Etterra 3 points 3 months ago

I don't know why but my inner 13-year-old thought this was hilarious AF 😂