this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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This is a two for one lol! Here's a response in the same thread:

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[–] [email protected] 104 points 4 months ago (5 children)

Can't imagine not showering almost every day. I can't get my shit together in the morning until I've had a shower.

[–] MrJameGumb 45 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I feel gross all day if I don't take a shower in the morning, even when the weather is cold out

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 40 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I shower twice a year whether I need to or not.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Name checks out.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Do you use the gallons of piss collected and fermented from the local neckbeards during those 6 month breaks?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

It's just conditioning. I shower daily but only in the evening and to me lying in bed not showered feels gross.

[–] AEsheron 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Fairly common in lots of places to shower every other day. So ling as you aren't doing manual labor or working out and making yourself gross, showering every day can actually be detrimental for stripping away too many oils, especially for your hair, but can also cause dry skin. I'm with OP on this one, gotta shower every day in summer, but in cooler months I'm an every other day guy.

[–] humorlessrepost 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I like to always be prepared for an unexpected blowjob.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

As a married man, I am unburdened with such thoughts.

[–] FoxyGrandpa 20 points 4 months ago

I'm an every other day showerer. I get sweaty and gross during the day not overnight. If I do it everyday my skin dries out real bad

[–] SendMePhotos 4 points 4 months ago

#TeamNightShower

[–] [email protected] 60 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

The loss of real winters is what has made my grudge with climate change personal. Winter is my favorite season. I recognize that I can say that mostly because I have the privilege to have a good experience with winter, but that's my context. And, to be fair, I've enjoyed it even during the times I've been flat broke. I'm a transplant to central California, and a lot of millennials and older will tell you that winter here has changed dramatically. The boomers will too as long as you don't use trigger words like "climate change". We barely ever get fog anymore. My wife said she almost never went trick or treating because it was always raining, but my kids have never missed a Halloween yet. Supposedly it would start raining gently around the end of October and just not stop until the end of February or so; now it just stays kind of overcast and then we'll get hella rain for a week here or a week there. It's a la Niña year this year, though, so it's probably going to stay dry and sunny the whole winter. A lot of the older folks in the mountains will tell you that snowfall at lower elevations is dramatically different. I work EMS in a town at around 1000 ft elevation in the Sierras, and the old timers in town will tell you that they used to get flat out snowed in. Now, it's kind of a big deal if you get enough snow to make a footprint.

We keep in touch with some people in New York state and they tell us that it doesn't even really snow in New York anymore, which is kind of blowing my mind.

[–] MrJameGumb 22 points 4 months ago

I'm in South Carolina so we've never really had much serious winter weather. Summers here are much different now than when I was a kid in the 80s. When I was growing up we could go out and play from the morning until sundown all summer long, now we have periods where you're supposed to stay inside during the day because it will be over 100F with like 95% humidity for a week or two at a time.

[–] bladerunnerspider 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I moved to California and now winters are less harsh than when I was a child. Somewhere else.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

To be clear, this climate is all I've ever known for California. People who've lived here their whole lives will tell you how dramatically things have changed.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

When they say it doesn't "really" snow, what do they mean? My experience has been that we are getting less snow than before, but still at least a few feet per season. If you look back at historical records, the difference in snowfall hasn't been so dramatic.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I dunno, we're kinda taking their word for it. I think they're somewhere around NYC, if that helps.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Second person needs a bidet.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 4 months ago (1 children)

While I agree with you, it is not normal for anyone to smell like shit after going to the toilet

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

I can only assume that both of these people are enormous. One sweats all day just from the effort of sitting up, and the other can't reach his own arse.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Anon needs a dehumidifier

Second Anon needs to actually eat vegetables

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Does it work if I directly inject veggie fibres up my colon

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] logi 3 points 4 months ago

Ask ChatGPT?

Sadly it answered in a sensible and boring way.

Directly injecting veggie fiber into your colon is not safe and can cause serious harm. The colon is sensitive, and introducing substances directly into it without proper medical guidance can lead to infections, injuries, or other complications. It's essential to consume fiber through a proper diet or approved supplements. If you're experiencing digestive issues or concerns about fiber intake, it's best to consult a healthcare professional for safe and effective solutions.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago

Rare real greentexts. You can tell they're real because anon sounds gross.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

Living in finland i like to say: "It takes the whole winter to yearn for summer, but only one day of summer to want winter back"