this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2024
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Not like "I went to school with one" but have had an actual friendship?

I've had a couple of conversations recently where people have confidently said things about the Black community that are ridiculously incorrect. The kind of shit where you can tell they grew up in a very white community and learned about Black history as a college freshman.

Disclaimer: I am white, but I grew up in a Black neighborhood. I was one of 3 white kids in my elementary school lol, including my brother.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Well the main thing disqualifying me is that we're assuming I was ever good at making any friends or that this is my fault. I have African-American acquaintances, but if only true friends count, you'll have to give me a rain check on that one.

[–] victorz 3 points 5 months ago

Same.

The closest I think is my wife's friend's husband. I'm half white, half middle eastern. He's about a decade or two older than I am. We grew up with the Atlantic between us. I get along with him great. No issues. Great chemistry. Two chill dudes. πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I can pretty much count with one hand the times I've talked with a black person ever. Don't see them around much where I'm from.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

My cousins are half black so my uncle is this HUGELY intimidating black dude lol and my best friend is half Nigerian

[–] CMLVI 2 points 5 months ago

I did go to school with one but he was a decent friend and we carried on in classes together. He came from Ghana, and I can't remember the specifics of his moving (it's been over 15 years) but he was originally born in Ghana. He was pretty smart, but I think he struggled a bit with "integrating" to the high school, as he'd let himself be the butt of jokes at times. He'd tell stories about growing up in Ghana and exaggerate or make up details that would carry on into ongoing phrases we'd repeat like inside jokes. Particularly, he said he would ride a bull to school, which turned into a sing-song phrase "ridin' bulls". He was a good time.

The state isn't exactly known for its spectacular past (we were a Union state though), and I think there was some fear with other students. He was in the International Baccalaureate program with me, so he was sorta insulated from the classic "dumb" racists, but you still have to traverse the hallways and life exists outside of school. Didn't keep up after graduation though.

[–] AgentGrimstone 2 points 5 months ago

Not since freshman year in high school. My list of friends has only shrunk since then.

[–] NineMileTower 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Am Detroiter. I know a few black folks. I even consider some to be my friends and community.

[–] Cryophilia 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I've always had the suspicion that Detroit has really cleaned up since the early 2000s and is underrated in the national narrative. Is that true?

I like living in cold places, so I might look into buying a house there one day.

[–] NineMileTower 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Detroit is bangin right now. If you come here, you will never want to leave. No joke. People from all over are experiencing new D

[–] Cryophilia 1 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Growing up one of my best friends was African American, but we lost contact after elementary school. Don't have a clue how to contact him or if he'd even want to get in touch, though.

My brother did see him at his job and he remembered my brother, so there's that. I wish him well, but I don't know if I can handle bringing back old friends into my life because of how awkward it would be for me, as someone who doesn't handle awkward well.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I had maybe one that would actually fit your specific terms (though he preferred Black Billy with the adjective usually being big or sexy). One of my good friends living in Texas was black, but he'd call himself a Black American or Cuban American rather than African American. In Japan, my black friends were (I moved to the middle of nowhere recently and don't use social media, so friendships tend to fade) black men from Africa (mostly Tanzania).

I think African American is one of those terms that (a) is super American-centric and (b) isn't something everyone would call themselves. You can actually read into how "Native Americans" feel about that term (many don't like it, apparently, because America (the country being the US)) wasn't the place they came from; they came from the land that their ancestors settled, not some stolen version of it. Some actually prefer "Indian" while others favor something more like "aboriginal peoples" or "first nations".

[–] Cryophilia 1 points 5 months ago

I think African American is one of those terms that (a) is super American-centric and (b) isn’t something everyone would call themselves.

That's correct, but if I just said "Black" then all the Europeans would come flooding in talking about their African coworkers. I'm specifically asking about the majority of black people in the US who are descended from slaves.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I'm not from the U.S.

[–] RebekahWSD 1 points 5 months ago

My best friend in kindergarten until high school (although through high school, just got to see her less because we no longer lived near each other) was mixed. We had many sleep overs and birthday parties and going out to places! It's impossible to contact her now, but her Facebook still seems active and she's doing well.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I've seen bad takes from you before but Jesus christ the comments ITT tops them all

[–] Cryophilia 0 points 5 months ago
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