this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2024
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top 36 comments
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[–] [email protected] 59 points 6 months ago (2 children)

You can tell this was made by a Dog owner because the parts of cat's brain are:

  • Food
  • Sleep
  • CHAOS
  • I N S P E C T
  • Protect Territory
[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago

One of my cats has a much bigger murder section than the other. Her brain is probably about 30% murder and 30% food. Oddly, she is substantially thinner than the other one who is not very food or murder oriented. The porky one is mostly nap - probably 60%.

[–] teamevil 3 points 6 months ago
[–] Commodore 37 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Ball is life

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (3 children)

The dog's food part is like one tenth compared to the cat? What kind of animals have you met?

[–] Quetzalcutlass 13 points 6 months ago

Dogs think about food when they're hungry, or when food is present. Cats will stand on you and complain for hours because their food bowl is only 90% full and they'd really prefer it to be 100% full at all times, please and thank you.

[–] teamevil 8 points 6 months ago

I have a kitten than just pulled a 10bag of food off the top of the fridge while the old fat man encouraged him... Cats are just as aggressively food motivated as most dogs they're just more evil about it.

[–] FlyingSquid 5 points 6 months ago

I have two dogs. One will do anything for food. The other likes food, but if you offer him most people food, he'll either take it away and then leave it on the ground or not even take it in the first place.

[–] subtext 21 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I read the purple one on the dog’s brain as “DOG” and honestly I think it could be an improvement.

[–] FlyingSquid 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Really, I think the majority of my dog Charlie's brain is taken up with, "hi! I'm Charlie! Pet me now!"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Aw I miss my dog! I used to say he'd walk into a room and think "Hi everyone! I'm a dog! Someone should play with me I think this would be good!"

[–] FlyingSquid 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Sorry your dog is no longer with you. That's the worst thing about dogs and cats. We live longer than them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Thank you, that's really kind. All the more reason to enjoy that time! :)

It's been a few years, and the way you described your dog made me smile more than anything :)

[–] FlyingSquid 2 points 6 months ago

I said to my wife a long time ago before she was a big dog lover that I don't think I could ever live my life without a dog. And now I have two and she was the one who initially suggested a second one. And although we've sadly lost two dogs, we've also had two dogs simultaneously for close to 20 years now and neither of us could live without dogs now. The sad part is that we will eventually get to the age that my elderly mother has gotten to where we will have to make a plan for what to do with our dogs if we die before they do. But we will definitely make that plan when it comes time.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] danc4498 11 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Right, murder is much bigger

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Also intermixed and partly interchangeable with play.

[–] NegativeLookBehind 5 points 6 months ago

“Play, with the potential to evolve into murder, as I see fit”

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago
[–] Ghostalmedia 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Puppies destroy your furniture for a few months if you’re not paying attention. Cats demand sacrificial furniture that they can fuck up life.

[–] FlyingSquid 3 points 6 months ago

The youngest we have ever gotten a dog is six months, so they do end up destroying a lot, but never furniture thankfully.

My first dog chewed up a book when she was a puppy though. I also once dropped a business card and she immediately grabbed it off the floor and ate it so fast she barely chewed it.

Dogs are weird.

[–] synapse1278 11 points 6 months ago

The cats at my parents home have a portion "RECEIVING PET" that is at least as big as the "SLEEP", they will never get tired of pet and cuddles.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)

What part of the dog's brain contains "eat wierd stuff"

[–] fishbone 5 points 5 months ago

Protect family.

[–] EvilEyedPanda 2 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The “murder” portion is too small.

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 6 months ago

That's the non-food murder part.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

I think the proportions are a bit off, but sure.

[–] Quetzalcutlass 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

Having owned a beagle, its brain looked more like the cat image but with "murder" replaced with ~~more food~~ "not food, but I'll eat it anyway".

[–] FlyingSquid 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I have a pit bull/dalmatian mix (at least we think so) and she has "murder" as a significant part of her brain considering she's happily killed countless animals (and brought many through the dog door). She usually doesn't eat them, she just kills them and hangs on to them like a trophy until we can get them away from her, which is not easy.

Also, the best day of her life is when some stupid bunny decided to give birth to her babies in our back yard and she found them and ate all of them, slurping them up one by one like spaghetti as we watched in horror. It was the best day of her life.

[–] Quetzalcutlass 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Prey drive is no joke. My sister has a heeler/corgi mix, and taking her for a walk is an exercise in not dislocating your arm whenever she spots a small animal. She's adorabloodthirsty.

Oddly her other dog, a heeler/pit mix, is super chill with no apparent prey drive whatsoever. I'm pretty sure you could hold a baby bird in front of his face and he'd just sniff at it dumbly with his tail wagging.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I had a bordercollie that would eat feces. Also a lab cross who would chew carpet, fun times chasing him around trying to pull the dangling poop out of his but.

[–] FordBeeblebrox 4 points 5 months ago

I’d say my cats look more like the top with “claw” instead of dig and the loyalty/protect family is still there but it’s the “I can punch my brother but no one else can” version. Never had a cat that plays fetch before so play is definitely in there.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I love sleepy murderer.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

or "get zoomies in the middle of the night"