this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2024
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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It's a mystery (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by qaz to c/funny
 

Enjoy this low bandwidth meme

top 21 comments
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[–] dojan 26 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Police unsettled when homicide victim speaks up. Shot on sight.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

...and their dog

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Private investigator and [pie maker](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ned_(Pushing_Daisies)) seen leaving the scene.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Do you see what the title of this article is implying?? Dead people rarely talk to police but SOMETIMES THEY DO 😳👻

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Hell Boy got them to talk!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago

The level of necromancy skills among today’s detectives leaves a lot to be desired

[–] IphtashuFitz 12 points 2 weeks ago

I’d consider a friend of mine a victim. His wife was murdered in a home invasion gone terribly wrong. My friend was half way across the country when the murder occurred, and yet since lots of murders involve spouses the cops focused on him at first. Eventually it was discovered a handyman they had hired was the true killer and my friend had nothing to do with it.

Yet another example of why you never talk to the police without your lawyer present…

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I imagine they're talking about people who have a threat on their life and don't talk to the police prior to the final incident. Think stalkers, abusive partners, etc.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago

Don't make excuses for poor writing.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 3 points 2 weeks ago

Aw dangit, you made this hilarious article make sense and almost took the funny away.

[–] satanmat 6 points 2 weeks ago

Torchwood had no comment on the matter. Cpt Harkness simply laughed at us.

[–] Zoomboingding 6 points 2 weeks ago

We need to defund militarization of police and support funding for séances.

[–] norimee 4 points 2 weeks ago

There are just not enough skillles mediums and necromancers around. What can you do?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Link rot is real sadly but here is the closest I could find to the original article and it’s just the same publication referencing how it got onto The Tonight Show.

https://www.lehighvalleylive.com/entertainment-general/2009/03/an_expresstimes_headline_makes.html

Basically the gist is that some victims don’t die immediately after getting homicide-d and so have time to speak to the police.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

There’s a real stigma about being a homicide victim.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest 1 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, the stigma of becoming mute & dumb after being murdered.

[–] Viking_Hippie 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Having played the 1:1 simulation of police work that is Disco Elysium, I beg to differ.

[–] ripcord 3 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks for reminding me I need to finally play it.

[–] thenextguy 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] LemmyKnowsBest 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

how closely that word resembles RELIGION and I had to do a doubletake,

if this article was categorized under RELIGION, it would be about murder victims speaking from the great beyond.

[–] thenextguy 2 points 2 weeks ago

"You stole my Jesus fish!"